


Getting shot for you and money

by Rumo (Rumo_writes), Rumo_writes



Category: The Bodyguard (1992), The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Bodyguard AU, Bodyguard Runaan, Engineer Ethari, Ethari is the purest soul on this planet, Lain is overprotective, M/M, Mentions of PTSD, Mentions of Substance Abuse, Mentions of past suicidal thoughts, Modern AU, Ruthari Week (The Dragon Prince), Update tags as I go, chracter with PTSD, communication is key
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 49,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25115788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rumo_writes/pseuds/Rumo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rumo_writes/pseuds/Rumo_writes
Summary: Runaan takes up work as Bodyguard for the head engineer of Lux Aurea. Little did he know what it would entail.A Modern AU Ruthari story where Ethari works as an Engineer for a big company and Runaan is hired as his bodyguard.
Relationships: Ethari/Runaan (The Dragon Prince)
Comments: 201
Kudos: 162





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be updated daily for Ruthari Week 2020 and will be finished afterwards!

Carefully, Ethari looked around the filled banquet hall until his eyes found a familiar tall stature. The man in question was currently engaged in a discussion with his manager. Good. As sneakily as he could, the engineer walked towards one of the elevators, swiping his keycard. The doors opened immediately and he was quick to press a button in order to close them again. A ten-digit code later, the elevator descended towards his workshop, away from the crowds.

With a content sigh, he flicked on the large stereo, smiling as the underground space filled itself with his favourite ambiance music. Peace. Finally.

He'd never been one for official banquets or galas or whatever else was expected from a company’s head engineer. He loved the quiet and solitude of his workshop and was more than glad he managed to escape his bodyguard's watchful eye for a few seconds.

Settling behind his workbench, Ethari pulled up the blueprints he’d been working on.

Lost in his work, he only noticed the other figure when his music suddenly stopped. “Why are you hiding down here again? This is your Nobel Prize gala. You should be enjoying yourself.”

Ethari didn't bother looking up from the model he was working on, only dismissively gesturing towards said award plaque on his wall. “I _am_ enjoying myself, Runaan. I wouldn't up there. Ya know that I hardly know any of these people.” Most of them had been invited by Lux Aurea for publicity purposes.

The white-haired man sighed, taking a seat on his workbench before carefully aligning his tools in even rows. “I do know that. But it is expected from you. You know Janay will blame me for letting you slip away afterwards.”

“Look let's make a deal, I’ll be allowed to finish this teeny bit here and then I'll come up to the bar with ya for one drink.” Runaan inclined his head, well knowing that this was the best offer he was going to get.

When Ethari reached out for the wrench he'd just used, his hand only grasped air. “Runaan" he sighed “Where is ma wrench?” his bodyguard shrugged as much as he ever did anything close to an emotional response.

“I sorted them. It's over there.” Another sigh Ethari couldn't quite suppress.

“Of course, ya did. Gimme the three inch.” A second later, said tool was placed into his hand and got exchanged for whatever else he required until the bit he wanted to finish was finally done. The used tools got returned in the particular order the other seemed to prefer. Sorted by kind and aligned by size.

“Ready?” Runaan asked, straightening his black suit even though it was perfectly in order. As always.

“Yeah, yeah" the engineer allowed, running a hand through his messy hair. Apparently, he'd left oil streaks on his face because the other tsk-ed and offered his handkerchief without another word, nodding in approval as he wiped at his face.

Together, they took the elevator back up to the party he had successfully ditched for an hour. As Ethari looked around, he could see Janai deep in conversation with one of the main shareholders. She hadn't noticed his absence. Perfect.

The Engineer let himself be led towards the bar and took the stool Runaan offered while he chose the one that overlooked the entire room. They had played this game long enough for Ethari to know that these big events always made his bodyguard extra weary and therefore gladly gave up the best people watching perches just to calm his nerves a bit.

“A Zombie and a Virgin Mojito, please.” Runaan said, mustering up a mildly friendly expression for the bartender. It was politer than he usually bothered to be and probably only for Ethari’s sake. When their drink arrived, his bodyguard pulled out a small device, dipping it into the Zombie before taking a sip and waited. Even though Runaan masked it well, he could still see the disgusted wrinkle of his nose upon tasting the sweet beverage.

When nothing happened after a few minutes, he forwarded the drink to his boss, grasping the Mojito instead. “Virgin?” Ethari pointed at the glass, taking a large gulp from his own drink now that he finally had it. The bodyguard raised a single sculpted white eyebrow, motioning for the room around him.

“I am on duty.” He stated as if that should have been self-explanatory.

“And? Aren’t you always?” the engineer recalled their first flight in the company’s private jet where that hadn’t mattered at all. Sensing what he was going for, Runaan scowled, hiding the expression behind his drink.

“You know I don’t enjoy planes.” That had to be the understatement of the century.

Ethari cracked a smile, trying to squeeze the orange slice in his drink with the metal straw and attached tiny umbrella „Relax, I’m just messing with ya.” It had developed into a new hobby of his to try and coax an emotional response out of the bodyguard ever since Janai hired him. It turned out to be harder than he’d thought. 

‘You need a professional security chief.’ she'd insisted after the fourth poison attempt even though Ethari managed to find the correct antidote in time every single occasion and even had a small collection on his person all the time. They also issued him kevlar lined suits that he never wore except for official appearances.

Runaan in turn was never seen _without_ his black custom suits. He suspected the other even slept in them. Probably also in a velvet lined coffin. He had seen him sleep in them several times when they had to stay in hotels his bodyguard couldn't pre-check and ended up sitting guard in his suite the entire night.

Ethari still thought it was excessive. Sure, enough people had tried to kill or abduct him in the few years he'd been working for Lux Aurea on renewable energy but having a bodyguard in addition to his usual security personnel didn't lower the chances for an attack that much.

“What are you thinking about?” the velvet voice of said bodyguard pulled Ethari from his musings. Looking up from his drink, he motioned for the guards placed at every entry.

“Don't ya think it's a bit much? This’ ma own house. Someone woulda need a lot of guts to try something ‘ere.” There it was, the smallest twitch around the other's eyes.

“I get paid to make sure you are safe, so that is what I will do. Catastrophies tend to happen when we least expect it.” Runaan only sounded mildly annoyed, which was his usual tone really, and continued to scan the crowd around them.

Ethari was just about to reply when his companion suddenly stilled, eyes darting across the room. That was a bad sign. Any sort of alarmed reaction from Runaan was always a bad sign. Before he could ask, the other sprung into action, pulling Ethari on the ground. A stun dart embedded itself in the wall behind where he'd been sitting just a second prior. Runaan was crouching in front of him, shielding the engineer with his body.

Another dart flew their way, getting stuck in his Bodyguard's suit-clad shoulder. The other just shrugged it off, hand already at one of the handguns in his concealed shoulder holster. Ethari allowed himself a few seconds to wonder about the still perfect fit of his suit. He hadn't even noticed Runaan was carrying tonight but now with the Jacket unbuttoned and flicked to the side he could also make out the familiar silhouette of the spare mags and throwing knives.

At first he’d thought them rather archaic but then the bodyguard had used one of said knives to disarm an attacker at the other end of a conference room and Ethari found that archaic wasn’t so bad after all. Against better judgement, he tipped back the rest of his drink that was still clutched in his right hand. If someone was really trying to abduct him today of all days, he would need another drink.

By now, the crowd around them had also finally caught on, erupting in panicked shrieks and chaos. Runaan used the momentary diversion to haul him up by the front of his purple dress shirt and dragged him behind the bar where the bartender was already crouching low on the ground, back against the cupboards with a panicked expression on his face. “Move” his bodyguard ordered, practically shoving the young man to the side to gain access to the left cupboard. He swiped a familiar black key-card across the hidden safe behind it, patiently waiting for the ‘beep’ of approval as it popped open.

If Ethari hadn’t know better, the other almost looked bored. Only faint worry lines on his forehead and the even more than usual steely expression spoke of the stress his bodyguard must be in right now. He himself was rather unconcerned. Runaan was good. More than good. And the house was basically swarming with security personnel. The only problem was; the attackers got in here even though the house was swarming with security and knowing his bodyguard, every measure possible had been taken to assure the perimeter was guarded excessively. Maybe he was a tiny bit concerned.

One of his regular security chose that exact moment to come stumbling behind the bar, holding a bleeding shoulder before she got hit by one of the darts, eyes rolling back as her body hit the ground. That was definitely not good. Runaan was by her side in an instant, checking for a pulse. Nodding to himself, he turned her on the side and resumed to pull out what looked like parts of a riffle from the safe. He assembled them with an eerily aura of calm in a matter of seconds and turned to press a handgun in Ethari’s hands. “Stay down” he ordered, loading the first armor piercing round in his riffle. The bodyguard didn’t even have to look, hands executing the motion with assured ease.

It was kinda hot.

 _Wait_ , Ethari blinked a couple of times, refocusing his gaze on something that wasn’t the way his hands blindly reached for another round while the striking turquoise eyes scanned the room for his next target.

_Uh oh._

Reaching behind him, the engineer found the mixer filled with whatever excess his Zombie had produced, downing the content in one. Maybe it was the booze? It was probably the booze. There was no way Ethari had a crush on his bodyguard who never even smiled.

Above him, Runaan pulled the trigger, corner of his mouth tilting up just a tad at the ‘thump’ of a body hitting the floor. He ducked back down afterwards, narrowly avoiding a hail of bullets while simultaneously loading a new round. The way his crisp white shirt stretched across his chest should be illegal.

Ethari concluded that he needed another drink to sort this out while his bodyguard repeated the process of shooting, ducking, reloading and shooting like a well-oiled machine. He’d always had a weakness for competence.

Said competence pulled him back down when he reached for the last ingredient he needed to mix himself another zombie. He’d contemplated asking the barkeeper but the poor man had fainted a couple minutes ago. “Would you please stay down and not get shot so I can do my bloody Job?” Runaan hissed, his posh accent intensifying. Ethari decided that the accent, too, was very attractive as he sipped his cocktail straight from the mixer.

“How much do you value your curtains?” the other asked, unscrewing a bottle of very expensive vodka he’d intended to add to his Zombie.

“Not that much, Janai selected them.” Apparently, that was all the permission Runaan needed before stuffing a dishtowel down the bottle and flicking his lighter.

Several things happened in short succession. Runaan stood to throw his Molotov cocktail. Someone, probably the people trying to abduct him, shot at him. One corner of his living room was suddenly engulfed in flames. People were screaming. Runaan ducked back behind the bar, digging the bullet out of his suit with a hiss. Steps approached them from the direction of his now burning curtains. He never loved them, too dull.

A figure in full assault gear rounded the corner of the bar only to immediately get tazered by his bodyguard. Where the hell had Runaan hidden a tazer?

Without much further ado, the white-haired man relieved the unconscious figure off of his stun dart riffle and matching bandolier, creeping around the corner of the bar only to duck back immediately as two darts embedded themselves in the wall next to him. “Stay down” he repeated before summersaulting around the corner and into a bordering hallway.

What else was he supposed to do? Ethari thought, taking another deep swig from his Zombie that was definitely lacking some expensive vodka. From his hiding spot, he could hear the occasional ‘thwip’ of the dart gun, followed by bodies hitting the floor. At twelve, he stopped counting.

Regarding his other problem, the engineer was clueless. How did one go about asking out ones bodyguard? Especially if said bodyguard seemed to be programmed to be devoid of any human emotion. The latter, of course, wasn’t true but Ethari had only ever seen glimpses of the man behind the stoic façade. Not enough to actually know him.

While slowly sipping his drink, he began a list in his head. Lists always helped him think; structure, break down, solve. That, he could do.

Runaan aka the hot guy aka maybe it’s Maybelline aka Rapunzel but with a shotgun aka off limits aka I don’t care

likes: his throwing knives, suits lined with Kevlar; preferably dark, black coffee; the stronger the better, sorting his tools (neat freak?), control about everything

dislikes: planes, people, chaos (neat freak???), incompetence (relatable), being not prepared, decaf coffee (but honestly, who would like that?), surprises

Personal life: lives at the Mansion full time for maximum security, ???

Hobbies: making his life extra difficult, sorting things, chewing through pens, strangling incompetent people, probably ironing his suits and sharpening his throwing knives, parkour? (evidence would suggest so)

Favorite color: probably dark blue or teal?

Favorite Food: whiskey, grilled vegetables from the Chinese place down the road, plain toast (who even does that?), earl grey, the blackest espresso on this planet

Relatives: a “niece” he mentioned once, none?

Friends: the throwing knives

Realizing he wasn't really getting anywhere with that Ethari carefully peeked around the corner of the bar. His lounge was devoid of guests but cluttered with figures clad in tactical gear, all of which had a dart sticking out from somewhere or a pool of blood beneath them. He quickly located the four Runaan had taken out before he stole the stun gun. They were all holding their shoulders which probably had an additional metal part in them now and were writhing on the floor. His bodyguard was nowhere to be seen but he could hear faint sounds of fighting from further down the hall.

A dart embedded itself next to his face.

Shit.

Crouching back down, Ethari reached for the discarded handgun, cocking it just in case. Carefully, he glanced around the corner again to duck back immediately at the sight of four guys that definitely did not belong to his security detail.

“fuck fuck fuck fuck" he whispered, reaching down his shirt to produce a sleek silver remote that was securely fastened on a necklace he was now glad the other forced on him. Pressing the panic button, he scooted further behind the bar, hoping Runaan was as fast as he claimed to be.

The first came around the corner, riffle raised and managed to send a dart in his thigh before Ethari’s bullet caught him in the shoulder.

He ripped the dart out immediately, hoping it was fast enough despite his vision blurring slightly.

The second was smarter, waiting for their teammate to catch up so they could attack together.

That's when he heard it, barley louder than a whisper but the voice was familiar enough to pick out over the shuffling.

“bloody hell”

Runaan.

Ethati released the breath he'd been holding and smirked at the two in his immediate proximity. “Was nice meetin' y'all.” Slightly disgruntled, he noticed that his voice slurred a tad. If from the dart or the two and a half Zombies, he couldn't tell.

A sharp cry of pain and attacker number three was suddenly vaulted over the bar, crashing in the shelf full of champagne flutes only to land groaning next to Ethari. He used the butt of Runaan’s handgun to knock the guy out for good, determined to contribute something to this fight.

His bodyguard chose that moment to make his appearance, dramatically sliding across the marble counter to land in front of him. He had lost his suit jacket somewhere and a dark red stain was slowly spreading across his left biceps.

Ethari stared.

Runaan narrowly avoided both darts sent his way and deftly reached for a two-thousand-dollar wine, smashing it across the right guy's head.

A sight for the gods really.

With his free hand, he drew the remaining throwing knife, embedding it in the other's thigh before roundhouse kicking him headfirst into the wall. They both twitched once but stayed down.

Runaan's hand was already at his phone, pressing a single button. “I need medical attention for ten and deliver twenty-two hostiles. Bring something against narcotics.” He ended the call without waiting for a response, crouching down next to Ethari instead.

“Can you hear me?” he nodded.

“Good. Tell me the first fifteen decimals of pi.” He dutifully rattled them down, even if his words merged together.

“Alright. How are you? Did they hit you? Any injuries?” Ethari shook his head but held out the still mostly full dart he'd plucked from his leg.

The bodyguard’s brows knitted together as he compared it's content with one of the untouched ones. “Looks like you were fast enough. Good thinking on the dart.” He stood, holding out a hand.

Ethari let himself being pulled to his feet only to stumble immediately. Right into the other's arms. “Sorray" he mumbled, trying to take a step back only to find himself securely enclosed by a pair of strong arms. His hands fell on the bodyguard's deltoids, holding on for stability.

“I-, i-its fine.” Runaan assured, immediately dropping the embrace. He cast a nervous glance down to where Ethari's hands were still on his arms until the engineer finally did that step he'd intended to take.

“Are you injured?”

“Sorry?” Runaan asked, running a hand through his now messy hair in an attempt to straighten it. 

“Are ya hurt?” he repeated, motioning for the stain that had successfully reached the bodyguard's elbow.

“No-, no it's just a scratch. I will deal with it once we have this under control.” When Runaan moved to check up on his unconscious security personnel, he seemed a bit stiffer than usual. The customary grace replaced with stilting movements. Just a scratch his ass, Ethari thought, settling back on his barstool to not be in the way.

It took less than four minutes for both police and medics to arrive, apparently, they had been on hold the entire time and just waited for the bodyguard’s signal to swoop in. His guards where all wheeled out to the waiting ambulances after he was assured that, yes, they were fine, just unconscious. As where the attackers just that each of them sported extra handcuffs on their stretchers. The police had herded all his guests for interrogation and soon, he was sitting alone in his large living room. Janai had left a few seconds ago, furiously voice-messaging someone about repercussions and consequences and press conferences.

Ethari had just fished out a surviving tumbler and a bottle of whiskey some prime minister had gifted him a while ago when Runaan came striding back into the room. The engineer was too busy staring to offer a greeting. He was still only in his dress shirt, tie looking slightly askew and sleeves pushed up as he made a beeline for the bar, plucking the untouched glass from his grasp. The bodyguard tipped it back in one before reaching for the bottle and repeating the process.

Ethari raised an eyebrow but kept quiet. It didn't seem the best moment to antagonize the guy that had _just_ saved his ass. Again.

Noticing his expression, the other reached up to massage his forehead “I swear to everything holy that I will find one of these bloody darts and shove it up your ass if you so much as make a single snarky comment today.” Okay. He had seen Runaan mildly annoyed. This was not mildly annoyed. ‘new emotion unlocked' supplied a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Sonic. Maybe it had been too much booze after all.

While Ethari reached for a second tumbler, the other proceeded to flop down on the stool next to him, not quite managing to suppress the sharp hiss.

Yep, these ribs were definitely broken, Runaan thought while pulling off the dark teal tie that had been bothering him all evening. Next to him, his charge refilled both their glasses, clinking them together before taking a sip.

Just as he thought that he could actually have a drink in peace, Ethari’s eyes swept over him with a remarkable intensity given the drinks he'd consumed in the last half hour. “I thought it was ‘just a scratch'.” The engineer even did the air quotes. He was not going to deal with that today. Was not.

“Okay-" Runaan stood again. Slowly to not let on how much his bloody ribs hurt and snatched the bottle off the counter with his good arm. “-I'll retire to sleep now. I called in the day shift to cover until today's team is operational again so you should be fine. There is also police stationed outside. If a problem arises that requires my presence-" he jiggled the wrist that held the panic-button’s receiver, a sleek silver bracelet with led screen “-I'll be there in five minutes.” With that, he turned on his heel and left.

Ethari watched as his bodyguard walked towards the elevator leading to the guest floor. There was a slight drag in his right leg, even though Runaan managed to mask it well. He also caught the neck-cracking stretch the other did as soon as the elevator's doors closed.

Definitely not just a scratch.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to popular demand: here is chapter 2! I hope you enjoy it;)

Runaan closed the door to his one room apartment with a sigh. He had taken every measure possible to secure the house tonight. Screened every guest in advance, had every worker briefed and checked. But apparently karma insisted in being a bitch today.

He needed a shower. A very very hot one.

Finally allowing his body to relax, he limped over to the bed he'd made this morning, flopping down onto the mattress.

“Ow" Runaan groaned faintly as both his ribs and whatever had happened to his leg send throbbing pain through his entire body. Definitely more than a scratch. But he'd be dammed if he'd let anybody see that. In retrospect, he wouldn't recommend getting thrown through a glass table as free time activity. Or any activity.

Sometimes he wondered why he'd ever signed this contract. Sure, Janai paid him more than the special forces ever would have and since it included living here, he had effectively reduced his expenses to zero. Work clothes were issued by the company, he'd made sure of that and living expenses were also covered. A few more years of getting thrown through tables and he could retire somewhere in the mountains. Preferably alone and far from civilization.

If only Ethari had a minimal sense of self preservation. But no, he managed to find the only engineer on this entire planet who thought twelve poison attempts were “fine" even though he was brilliant and cunning and-

He stopped, staring straight ahead into the floor length mirror in front of him. _Oh bloody hell._

No. Nope. That was not happening. Runaan shook his head sharply, banning all thoughts of messy hair and grime stained cheeks from his mind.

Professionalism. Professionalism set him apart from most of the other people in this line of work. He had an impeccable record to keep. And no guy, no matter how cute or smart would change that. Especially not if that guy happened to be his charge.

Once he'd peeled himself out of the ruined dress shirt, Runaan balled it together and chucked the formerly white fabric into his trashcan. Seeing that the white v-neck he wore underneath was also ruined, he didn't bother with taking it off and just cut the fabric with one of his knives.

After closer inspection, his trousers also turned out to have several cuts so they followed the rest of clothes in the trash. Fully undressed, he finally found the source of his leg pain. A piece of glass, probably from that bloody table had embedded itself in his right thigh. Great. Just great.

Pulling out the first aid kit, also company issued, he selected a pair of tweezers, took a very healthy swig from his liberated whisky and _pulled_.

The piece wasn't big and had most likely only hit muscle by the lack of profound bleeding but _damn_ that hurt.

His shower was short, scorching hot and pure bliss. By the time he emerged, Runaan's skin prickled and he felt a little bit less like someone had just used him as a living punching bag.

Both open wounds were thankfully not as wide so he just slapped some surgical adhesive strips on them to keep them closed and added a bandage to each for good measure.

Stepping into a pair of athletic shorts, Runaan looked himself up and down in the mirror again. There were numerous tiny scratches all over his back from the glass and to say his ribs were colorful would be a vast understatement.

That would hurt like a bitch tomorrow.

He rummaged through his mini freezer for some ice, some of which he dumped into a fresh tumbler for the whisky and the rest was filled in a ziplock he taped to his side. The cold immediately began to sooth whatever purplish bruise was currently forming itself there and together with his new drink, he was almost feeling fine. Almost.

There was still his other issue. The work issue that was also a personal issue, which given his personal code, should not be possible to exist.

And yet, here he was, thinking about his charge's clever mind and swift hands and soft golden eyes. The golden eyes.

Out of frustration and a short circuit in his mental capacities for the day, he rammed his already abused right hand into the wall. Moon and stars to hell with that clusterfuck of emotions that were currently battling inside him.

He was mad at Ethari for being reckless and inconsiderate at his efforts to keep him alive and un-abducted. He was mad at himself for almost failing said efforts.

He was also mad at Ethari for being so goddamn irresistible and charming while he was mad at himself for falling for it. 

In lack of anything better to do about it, Runaan took a swig of his drink and pushed his split knuckles in the bucket of leftover ice.

Once his bodyguard retired to do whatever androids did instead of sleeping, Ethari went down to his workshop again.

Instead of working, he pulled up the living room's security feed, replaying the last hours. He fast forwarded to the point where Runaan visibly tensed up and stopped. He scanned the room twice but couldn't find the source of his alarm. Until his eyes landed on the corner where a guard should have been. How the other had noticed that so fast in a room filled with people was beyond him but the next thing he saw after hitting play again was the two of them going to the ground while his abductors rounded the corner. Not a second too late.

Maybe Janai had been right, he thought as the white-haired figure on screen took out four attackers with a shot in the exact same shoulder area, hiring a professional was a smart move. He reached the point where Runaan took a hit in his kevlar suit and only now noticed the short grimace of pain.

He remembered the instance where he'd accidentally dropped a storage crate on his foot and his bodyguard hadn't even blinked. That must have hurt like hell.

The video continued to Runaan sneaking out behind the bar and systematically shooting three other hostiles with the stolen stun riffle before leaving through the exit they came from.

Ethari forwarded to the point where four of them had entered the living room again and were slowly moving in on him. He found the moment where he'd hit his panic button and only a few seconds later, Runaan came sprinting back in, skirting around the corner on the polished wood floor before practically throwing himself at the nearest hostile.

He disarmed them in the blink of an eye and just reached for their belt, vaulting the hostile over the bar in one powerful heave. Runaan then proceeded to jump over the counter himself, one arm braced on the surface.

A sight for the gods really.

Ethari closed the recording with a shake of his head, trying to get rid of the warm feeling spreading in his chest. The way he'd run as soon as the engineer was in danger had almost seemed desperate. Of course, he told himself, that was Runaan's job but still…

And now, his bodyguard was clearly hurt, despite claiming otherwise, and he hadn't even thanked him. 

Maybe-

Maybe Runaan was still awake? He would be right? It wasn't that late, yet.

Before he could back down on his decision, Ethari stood and went for the elevator.

Coming to think of it, he'd never been in the guest Apartment after Runaan had moved in a few months back. Would it look different now?

There was some shuffling behind the door after he knocked and after a few seconds, it opened.

“Janai, I told you ten minutes ago I’d do the bloody risk analysis in the morning once I-" Runaan stopped, the spoon he'd been gesturing with hovering in mid-air.

“Oh"

Ethari took a second to take in the other's appearance; he was only clad in dark blue athletic shorts and had a ziplock of ice taped to his left side. There were two bandages, one around his right leg and the other around his biceps. His damp hair was pulled up in a bun, revealing sharp cheekbones. Upon closer inspection, Ethari could make out a good portion of healed scars that contrasted the tan skin. And were that tattoos? Large ones nonetheless, almost covering his whole left chest and shoulders.

“Just a scratch, huh?” he asked, regretting it immediately as Runaan scowled.

He crossed his arms defensively, spoon impatiently tapping on his biceps. “Do you want me to gut you with my spoon?”

“I uh, I wanted to say thank you? For today? And, ya know the other times?” Ethari couldn't within but shifting his weight from side to side nervously.

Runaan sighed but there was something almost like a smile tugging at his lips. “It _is_ my job.”

“Yeah but, uh, still? I really appreciate not bein’ abducted ya know?” that earned him a smirk before Runaan stepped aside.

“Would, um, would you like some icecream?” he asked, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

“Sure, thank you.” Carefully, as if overstepping some kind of invisible boundary, Ethari walked into the little apartment. The first thing he noticed was that the walls were now a dark teal while the ceiling was still white. It worked surprisingly well.

“Oh my god you have sheets with stars on them?” he exclaimed, excitedly pointing at the meticulously made bed.

“Don't make me regret this.” Runaan deadpanned “I can offer vanilla and vanilla-whiskey.”

“Uh vanilla please.” He busied himself with looking around the room while the other rummaged through a cupboard, spoon now stuck between his teeth. The apartment was expectedly tidy to a fault. A bookshelf filled with classic literature and weapon manuals, an empty desk safe for an old MI5 mug that held pencils and a sleek black laptop. It looked impersonal and detached but he also found some items here and there that hinted at Runaan and not the cardboard cutout of a bodyguard.

An engraved Bo Staff was leaning against a corner where he'd stacked some weights and a yoga mat, the throwing knives were placed on a rack over the bed, within easy reach while their holster and the shoulder holster plus belt pouches he usually used were aligned on a couple of hooks beside the door. Ethari also found what looked like casual clothes in the open wardrobe that consisted mainly of pressed suits and a dozen identical white shirts. A leather jacket, a stack of dark blue v-necks, black jeans and heavy leather boots. He was just about to picture that outfit when a turquoise ceramic bowl was pressed into his hands.

“There you go. Just-" Runaan gestured around the room. “-sit wherever you like.”

He, too had a bowl in his hand and proceeded to add whisky to it like other people chocolate sauce while Ethari opted for the chair at his desk. Weirdly enough, it lacked armrests and was also too high to place his feet properly on the ground.

Across from him, Runaan sat down on his bed cross-legged, bowl perched in his lap.

“So, uh, does it hurt bad?” he asked for the lack of anything else to say.

For a moment, it looked like the other was about to brush it off again but then, he sighed, rubbing at his eyes. “No, no it’s- it’s fine. As long as I don’t move.” Runaan chuckled lowly and continued to scoop up his weird ice cream mix. “I would greatly appreciate it if you didn’t get yourself abducted the following week though. I don’t know how many ribs I have left to break.” With that, he cracked a grin at Ethari.

Was- was his bodyguard trying to make a joke?

Was that even in his programming?

The engineer laughed, not noticing the slight blush on Runaan’s cheeks. “I’ll try my best but no promises.” His counterpart huffed out a laugh at that, something close to mischief glinting in his eyes “I figured as much.”

The following morning, the white-haired man blindly patted for his analog alarm clock until he finally found the button to punch it out. Way too early, definitely not enough sleep.

It took him far longer than he cared to admit to work himself up in a sitting position and look around his apartment. Two discarded bowls and a glass were still perched on his kitchenette and the familiar scent of Ethari faintly lingered in the air.

He took a couple deep breaths that sent spikes of bright pain through his ribcage and restarted the throbbing in his shoulder and leg. “Aw bloody hell.” Runaan muttered as he slowly limped towards his fridge. The ice had turned into a warm sludge long before he’d went to bed last night so he reapplied his makeshift icepack with fresh icecubes and a kitchen towel which he wrapped around his torso.

He had about an hour and a half before Ethari would be awake at the earliest and given yesterday’s drinks and his past experience it would most likely be two or three. However, that didn’t mean he didn’t have more than enough work to do. Janai probably already waited for his report and he still had to find out who dared to interrupt their party. After fishing a jar of pre-made oatmeal and a protein shake out of the fridge, he started the coffee machine and patiently waited for his two double espressos that Runaan dumped into the same large mug with the company’s logo before settling at his desk.

Cross-legged, he shifted a bit in his seat to find the most comfortable position for his ribs and booted his laptop. The report for Janai was done in a matter of minutes since he’d typed most of it the night before so he sent that before starting on his breakfast. After a quick call, the police promised to send their report as soon as possible and call should any further assistance be necessary.

Since his usual morning workout was more or less out of question today, Runaan resorted to meditating for half an hour before getting ready to leave his apartment. Dressing took longer than usual. Especially pulling on the shoes and pants hurt like hell but the bodyguard just grit his teeth and stared ahead, blinking white spots from his vision. A slight headache spread behind his temple while the more than half empty whisky bottle stood on his bedside table like a silent accusation.

In the bathroom, he freed his long hair of the braid he usually put it in to sleep and began to re-braid it in his common style. A bit of concealer later, one couldn’t even see the smudges under his eyes or the slight bruise above his right brow. Perfect. All other evidence of his injuries were hidden securely under the familiar black suit and crisp white dress shirt. Runaan wore it like armor.

When he left for his standard morning rounds across the estate, he found the engineer in his home gym at the bench press. It always surprised him how strong Ethari really was. He kept forgetting that the oversized hoodies and faded jeans hid a rather impressive physique for someone tied to a desk for the majority of the day.

He only realized he’d been staring through the glass walls when Ethari stopped his exercise and came walking over, towel slung around his neck. “Good Morning” he greeted slightly out of breath. His cheeks were flushed from the exertion and Runaan could see faint traces of sweat on the other’s oversized grey tank top. He looked divine but the smell, the smell was what almost killed him.

Usually, Ethari had a mix of flowers and motor oil on him that shouldn’t work but was surprisingly addictive. But now, a deeper musky note was thrown into the mix, the spicy scent flooding his brain with every drawn breath. “M-mornig.” Runaan cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away from the other’s neck.

His voice still sounded a bit gravelly like every time he drank so he hoped the engineer would file the stumbled greeting under a sore throat instead of the nervousness that suddenly befell him. Last night, he’d spent a good hour meditating to get him out of his head and now here he was again, even worse off than before.

“Ya look considerably better.” Ethari remarked, giving him a once over that almost seemed appreciative. “How’re the ribs doing?”

“Fine, they are fine. Thank you.” In lack of a better excuse to escape, Runaan pointed down the hall in the direction he’d been heading before. “I should continue my perimeter sweep. See you later.” Before the engineer could stop him, he curtly turned on his heel and escaped this very awkward situation.

“See ya!” was all he heard as the bodyguard rounded a corner only to immediately stop and gently bang his head against the wall. This was exactly why he didn’t mix personal and work-related issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaand that's it for today folks. Returning with chapter 3 tomorrow! (The next one will be a bit longer I think)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a plane ride and Ethari scheming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay! but here you go!

Over time, Ethari found that his bodyguard seemed to gradually ease up to him. Now, just over four months after the abduction incident, he almost dared to call Runaan his friend. More often than not, the white-haired man would come down to his workshop and silently work on something while watching him built things. He always sorted the tools in the exact same order and by now, Ethari was so used to it that he didn’t even have to look anymore to find each screwdriver.

A system had it’s perks he supposed.

A hot bodyguard however had about as much disadvantages than advantages. For one, he still wasn’t sure if Runaan was even interested in anything close to relationships at all. He never took free time besides the one day every two weeks the company forced him to and never spoke of anything close to personal.

Of course, Ethari had conducted a bit of research on his newfound crush but other than his military record and the bit of information the federal agencies had on him, nothing turned up. Family: deceased. Status: unmarried. A blank slate. Nothing. It frustrated him to a point that he hacked himself in several confidential databases and even called Janai but nothing more was to be found.

His previous employer knew even less but still sent him a list of injuries obtained in service in lack of any other information. This would simply not do. How was he to flirt effectively if he didn’t even know the other’s favorite TV show or taste of music?

But Ethari had a plan. He was due to travel to a conference today that happened to be on the West Coast and quite a few flight hours away from his private estate in the Scottish Highlands. Since he knew of Runaan’s fear of planes, he’d made some preparations to use said fact to his advantage.

On his request, they would be taking the company’s private jet that had four separate compartments. Janai would be working in one of them and the other four people on his security detail would most likely stay in their seats for the time being, trying to catch some sleep before they had to be on high alert again. Since Runaan was, by contract, not allowed to leave his side during travels Ethari would move to one of the others in guise of either working or sleeping so they would be alone. He’d also ordered the flight attendants to stock up the bar of his compartment with the bodyguard’s favorite whisky.

He grinned at the white-haired man when he picked Ethari up at his room to leave for the airfield, a sleek silver carry on in one hand and a large black duffle bag slung around his shoulders. The latter most likely solely containing weapons. “What’s got ya in such a sour mood?” he asked, full well knowing what it was.

“Being forced to sit twelve hours in a pressurized tin can does the trick for me usually.” Runaan grumbled just loud enough to hear. Louder, he added “Are you ready to go? I still need to sweep your luggage.”

The engineer nodded, pointing at his own bags; a worn and faded black backpack and sturdy metal suitcase for his laptop and a poster roll with his blueprints. In a matter of minutes, his bodyguard had checked every item thoroughly for bugs and other electronic devices. “You are good to go. Do you require help carrying all this?”

Briefly, Ethari thought about saying yes just to see him struggle but then decided against it. For his little scheme to work, he needed to be in Runaan’s good graces. “Nah ‘m fine.”

The ride to their private airfield was short and quiet, though he noticed the white knuckled grip his bodyguard had on the steering wheel of their armored SUV. He was nervous. Good.

The conference itself wasn’t for another two days but he’d expressed the wish to arrive in advance to be able to tour the city a bit beforehand. Of course, Runaan had been more than appalled by the idea but begrudgingly agreed to escort him through San Francisco under the condition they kept a low profile. Figuring this was as close to an actual date Ethari would ever get, he was considerably excited.

Janai was already waiting for them at the plane, restlessly tapping on the folder in her hands. “You’re late.”

Runaan arched a perfectly sculped eyebrow and looked at his phone. “It is exactly three pm.” She just huffed but let them through to the plane either way.

As always, his bodyguard went first, motioning for him to halt at the entrance until he’d spoken to the rest of the staff. Just a couple moments later, Ethari found himself in a leather seat opposite to the other in his compartment. Runaan looked a bit stiffer than usual, a bit paler, too. He was spinning a metal ballpoint pen through his fingers like he only ever did when he was either incredibly bored (board meetings) or nervous (planes). Phase one was officially a go.

Once they reached travel height, Ethari walked over to the little bar and fetched two tumblers with ice and a bottle of whisky. He proceeded to pour a good measure in each, making sure to put a tad more in the other’s while Runaan watched him with narrowed eyes. “You know I am on duty.”

“Aww come on. We’ll be in the air for _twelve hours_.” Underlining the timespan, the engineer gently nudged the glass a bit further. “Not much else to do anyways.” He took a sip of his own drink, smiling at the slight burn in his throat. Runaan remained stoic, staring at the tumbler as if it was personally offending him. He switched the pen for one of his throwing knives, flipping it expertly through his fingers with frightening precision.

They continued like that for about half an hour, Ethari sipping from his drink occasionally, his bodyguard toying with the knife with increasing nervousness. Just as he thought to offer again, the turbulences started.

Runaan froze immediately, catching the hilt and sheathing the sleek weapon in a matter of seconds. His hands latched with death grips onto the armrests and a panicked glint appeared in his eyes Ethari hadn’t seen before. Eyes widened just a fraction, the bodyguard evidently tried to take even breaths while his gaze flickered between the window and the still untouched glass in front of him. So that’s what he looked like when he was afraid.

For Ethari, flying was like riding a bus. He’d done it so many times that even heavy turbulences didn’t bother him anymore. Runaan on the other hand looked more panicked with every shake of the plane around them. The board speakers crackled to life with a few static sounds “Here is your captain speaking, please remain in your seats, we hit a storm but should leave it behind us in about thirty minutes.” Across from him, Runaan screwed his eyes shut breathing in and out through his nose, hands still latched on the leather.

“Hey, are ya okay?” Ethari tried, reaching out carefully to put his hand over Runaan’s left. The other’s eyes snapped back open as soon as their skin touched and he stiffened even further. “G-good.” He bit out but simultaneously flexed his hands even harder. The engineer rubbed a few soothing circles over his hand before pulling back again to give his bodyguard some space. For a second it looked like Runaan wanted to grab his wrist to keep him from pulling away but then, he reached for the glass instead, fingers slightly trembling. 

Ethari watched as he downed the whole thing in one and set it back down with more force than necessary, the _click_ echoing through their empty compartment. “Fuck this” he muttered under his breath, reaching for the bottle.

It was the first time, he’d ever heard the other properly swear. With a mix of amusement and horror, the engineer watched as his bodyguard filled the glass again with more than he’d previously poured and tipped it back, slightly grimacing at the burn before repeating the process. Again. And again.

As his fifth glass hit the table, Runaan leaned back in his seat and regained purchase of the armrests, fingers sinking in the leather once more as he closed his eyes, now breathing a bit more even. This had turned out to be easier than he thought. Silently, Ethari thanked the turbulence as it once more shook the plane. “It’s probably over soon.” He offered, now feeling bad about the stress the other was in on his behalf.

Runaan only stared ahead, eyes fixed on something outside this plane of existence. “Hn”

It didn’t stop.

Instead, they spent a good hour getting jostled in their seats over the span of which his bodyguard emptied about half of the bottle alone with an increasingly glassy look to his eyes. The panicked glint didn’t leave until they passed the turbulence completely, leaving Runaan’s pupils blown. Ethari carefully retracted the hand he’d placed on the other’s half an hour ago, watching his bodyguards fingers twitch slightly at the loss.

“See? We made it” he tried to sound encouraging but Runaan’s shuddering breath made him frown again. “Hey, uh, everythin’ alright?” slowly, the other nodded.

“Yes, yes I just really do not like planes.” Despite not having moved more than a few inches, he looked a bit disheveled and there was an odd intonation to his voice Ethari hadn’t heard before. 

“Might I ask why?” he didn’t want to prod but the whole point of this was to get more information.

“N-no particular reason. I just do not enjoy planes and high places.” Runaan was smoothing out his tie and pulled a bit at the collar in the process, the teal silk obviously constricting his breathing.

“You know-“ Ethari started, propping his feet up on the seat besides him so he was leaning against the hull of the plane “-you could loose that. No one around to see anyways.” For a second, it looked like he was about to shake his head but then, Runaan sighed and began to pull at the impeccable knot, letting the tie fall into the seat besides him. He thought the bodyguard would stop there but instead, he opened his seatbelt and stood, shrugging out of the Kevlar lined suit jacket. Once again, Ethari was amazed at how well the holsters were concealed under the suit considering they held two handguns, the twin knives and about four extra rounds of ammunition. Before sitting down again, Runaan rolled up his sleeves to reveal very nice forearms and undid the top few buttons on his crisp dress shirt so that his collarbones were visible. Ethari forgot to breathe.

Flopping back down in his seat, he slouched a bit, splaying his legs in a way that looked comfortable and differed greatly from the rigid pose he’d held before. Runaan slid further down so both his elbows were braced on the armrests, hands clasped over his tactical leather belt. Despite the lingering panic behind his eyes, Ethari had never seen him so relaxed.

“I don’t know why ya always wear the suit anyways. Don’t get me wrong, it looks good but it can’t be comfortable to sit twelve hours in a plane with it.” To underline his point, the engineer gestured at his own attire, consisting of sweatpants and an oversized hoodie.

The other stopped, a slight blush appearing on his ashen cheeks. “I see it as my uniform sort of? Additionally, it’s in my contract.” Lounging there in the huge leather seat, broad shoulders almost completely filling out the space between the headrests Runaan looked like a very attractive mob boss, contemplating who to kill next. It did things to Ethari.

“Also, the Kevlar.” He added after a while with a wry smile, left absently wandering to the spot where the last projectile had broken his ribs but nothing more.

“Of course,” Ethari was still nursing his second glass, keen to keep his wits in this conversation. “How are the ribs anyways? And the shoulder?”

“Ribs are fine. The shoulder still pulls a bit but that’s due to the scar tissue. Healed nicely.” To illustrate, Runaan pulled his collar to the side until the lighter sheen of a new scar appeared. He turned towards Ethari to show and then shrugged his shirt back on.

“Oh y-yeah. Looks, uh, looks good.” If this was mildly tipsy Runaan, he needed to meet drunk Runaan as soon as possible.

A glance at the monitor displaying flight data told him they were less than two hours in. A lot of time to prod for more info. Casually, he refilled both their glasses and sipped on his own. It only took a few heartbeats until Runaan did the same, cradling the drink in his hands. “Why do you even have to go to that conference? Couldn’t you just hold your presentation via skype like you do with your guest lectures?”

Ethari shook his head “It’s about meetin’ people and I can only do that while we’re there.” The main reason he attended these events was connecting with other developers across the globe. And to have a valid excuse to spend a few days in a different city.

“Hm” Runaan traced the rim of his glass with his thumb before taking a healthy swig “I see.” With a sharp inhale, he placed the glass back on the table “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.” His tone had shifted to something between gruff and concerned.

“Why wouldn’t you?” he already had a few ideas but was still curious about the answer.

“Well, for one the travel by plane. Then the risk. It’s far too dangerous-“ he cut himself off, scratching the back of his neck “I mean, uh, the risk of an attack is higher on large gatherings and it’s, um, it’s harder to protect you.” His turquoise eyes softened for a split second, loosing their glint before he cleared his throat and straightened a bit. “All in all, more work.” The last addition sounded a bit hollow as if he’d just wanted to find a viable excuse.

Ethari smirked “Aww y’are concerned for me.” The slight teasing immediately caused his blush to deepen.

“N-no, I, ah, I mean it’s my job to worry.” The panicked glint returned to his eyes as Runaan reached for his refilled glass to hide his expression behind it while drinking.

“I know.” The engineer decided to relieve him of his misery. For now. “I’m just messing with ya.” Obviously relieved, the other relaxed in his seat again. Interesting.

He kept silent for a while, watching as his bodyguard slowly sipped his now seventh drink while leaning back in his seat with closed eyes. Even now, he could still see that his breath came quicker than usual, pulse jumping a bit at his throat.

One of the crew members came by to drop off their dinner a while after, a mix of noodles, salad and bread. They ate in comfortable silence, each occupied enough with their own food.

“So, how did ya get the privilege of shooting people on my behalf anyways? Janai never mentioned where she'd dug you up.” Runaan had sprawled back in his leather seat, knees apart and comfortably slouched. Ethari hadn't thought him even being able to sit other that ramrod straight.

“She approached me with the Job offer. Apparently, someone on my old Squad had recommended my services to her, and since I found myself lacking work that precise moment, I took her offer.” Huh, Janai had told him she’d basically stole the bodyguard from his former employment.

“I thought ya were workin’ for some American politician when she hired ya.” Ethari watched his nose wrinkle a bit at the mention of his former charge.

“I was. Until about an hour prior to her second call.” That didn't sound too enthusiastic.

“Might I ask why?” there had to be a story there. And it had to be good if even Janai didn't know about it.

Runaan didn't look at him, twirling his drink instead. “We had some, ah, different opinions on which things concerning my personal life were relevant to my employment.” Knowing what he did about the other personally, which was next to nothing, that must have been a rather great deal. Nobody he knew valued his privacy more than the white haired man in front if him. Before Ethari could prod further, he set his jaw, looking straight at him. “Also, I don't work for homophobic bigots.” 

_Oh?_

This plan was working better than he’d hoped. Hell, the engineer would've been more than content if the only thing he found out today was Runaan's favorite breed of dog.

“What happened?” there was no way he would back off now, that he'd come closer to an actual conversation than ever before.

For a moment he thought the bodyguard wouldn't answer as he stared into his drink, watching the floating ice cubes.

Then Runaan's gaze wandered to the setting sun outside. “We were in Houston for a campaign and that bloody idiot decided he wanted to Pub crawl. Naturally, I had to accompany him as security. Outside bar number three, we encountered a Queen getting attacked by a couple of bloody wankers who thought they were better than everybody else.”

Something fierce glinted in his eyes as he mentioned them. “I moved to help and my employer immediately ordered me to stop, saying that the “shemale" as he put it had put that on herself. I ignored him, broke three noses, one arm and two jaws and called a cab for the Queen who then told me her name was Misty and she'd been on her way from a performance. I gave her my number in case she'd encounter further trouble.”

“Once she was gone, my employer demanded to know why I disobeyed him. I explained that my contract was to protect him and not follow his every whim therefore I could do as I please. He then decided to go to a nearby strip club where he paid two girls for himself and offered to get me one as well. I politely declined. He asked whether I was ‘gay or somethin' “ Runaan made airquotes. Ethari was just about to have an existential crisis. It was a bit like realizing the robot bunny was an actual bunny with bunny needs and behaviors.

“So I said that, yes I was indeed gay but also wouldn't have required a stripper either way since I preferred to not pay my partners.” He cracked a slight grin at that. “We left two hours later and by morning he had his assistant delivering me a message that he wanted me to switch to secondary security since he felt ‘threatened' in my proximity so I told the assistant to deliver the resignation letter I had already printed and signed.” Well, Janai certainly hadn't mentioned that.

“So I have to thank that guy for being a dick to be able to enjoy yer company now?” Runaan shrugged, eyes firmly trained on the window.

“Suppose you do.”

Determined to lift the mood again, Ethari gestured for the pool table that somehow had been installed in the plane upon delivery. “Wanna beat me in billiard?” In truth, the engineer found his chances were probably considerably better now as he'd only consumed a mere two glasses while, well Runaan was still working on glass seven.

The bodyguard cracked a smirk, mustering him through narrowed eyes. “Sure" he stood, taking the glass with him and appearing impressively sober. Ethari still noticed that his right was braced against the planes hull for support and the way he blinked a few times after standing.

Ethari followed, taking the meager rest of the bottle with him and walking over to the stereo to hook up his phone.

Runaan was already waiting for him by the table, casually leaning on his cue stick. He jumped slightly at the sudden music as soon as the engineer pressed play on his phone but recovered quickly enough that Ethari could leave him thinking he hadn't noticed.

Regarding his chances of winning, Ethari quickly realized how wrong he'd been. The other landed every hit, quickly decimating his numbers with calculated ease. They played four rounds until Runaan gave him a pointed look at the suggestion of another game.

“Do you enjoy loosing so much?” by now, his cheeks were a little flushed and Ethari could tell that he was using the cue stick as support not simply because it looked cool.

“I enjoy playing-" he started, clanking their glasses together before taking a sip from his fourth one. “-besides, we still have a good six hours to waste.” Runaan grimaced at that, downing the rest of his drink and went to collect the cueballs in order to set up a new round.

“S'ppose you're right.” Ethari found that he loved the bodyguards intoxicated voice. It was a bit rougher and less refined. More human.

They were still playing twenty minutes later, Runaan had just missed his first strike, when someone knocked at the door.

“Ethari? I need your signature.” Janai. Next to him, the bodyguard straightened at the sound of her voice, hand absently trying to smooth out his hair. He gave Runaan a once over before grimacing apologetically. She would notice. With two quick strides, he was at the bodyguard's side, hand securely fisted in his dress shirt. 

“Sure just a sec I'll be right over.” Ethari called out while simultaneously shoving the other backwards in the direction of their adjacent bathroom. He threw a glance over his shoulder, relieved to see that she was waiting for him instead of just barging in and when the engineer turned back, Runaan’s pupils were blown, staring at him while he stumbled backwards not resisting the movement.

Ethari opened the bathroom door, shoving his bodyguard all the way up to the opposite wall rather unceremoniously. Runaan just continued to stare, a soft whimper escaping him upon contact with the wall. “Stay ‘ere" he ordered, making a beeline for the door. Not without hiding the second glass beforehand, Ethari opened the door.

“Okay where do I have ta sign?” Janai looked at him skeptically.

“Have you been drinking?” she peaked around him inside the compartment before cocking an eyebrow “And where is your security.”

He just shrugged, accepting the offered folder and pen. “Bathroom y'know planes aren't his strong suit as it appears.” Seemingly content with that explanation, Janai re-collected her things and nodded.

“Ah yes, poor soul.” Her eyes focused on him once again “If you are drunk come touch down, I’ll personally kick your ass all the way to the hotel. There will be press present.” Dutifully, Ethari nodded, giving her a reassuring smile.

“Of course.”

Once she was gone, he made his way back to the tiny bathroom. “Runaan?” nothing “Are ya okay?” Now slightly guilty about the rough handling, the engineer peeked back through the door only to find Runaan in the exact same position he’d left him in; one hand clasped at his throat, the other braced against the wall breathing heavily. “Uh everythin’ alright? Listen I’m sorry about that-“ he trailed off as the bodyguard cleared his throat, tugging at his shirt collar.

“Fine” he whispered “’m fine. Thank you for coverin’ for me.” With a slightly pained expression, he smoothed out a few of the creases in his shirt. “Could, uh, could I get a sec?” Ethari nodded, backing out the door again.

“Sure tell me if ya need anythin’.”

A good ten minutes later, Runaan emerged from the bathroom looking considerably better. His hair was returned to its pristine condition and the crisp white dress shirt was back to being meticulously tucked into his dress pants. They finished their game in silence safe for the occasional victory exclamation from Ethari every time the other missed a hit. He still lost but it was tad closer this time.

“Would ya mind if I ran my presentation past you? I kinda need a second opinion.” The bodyguard nodded, retuning their billiard equipment to its designated place.

“’Course. I just don’t know how much of help I’ll be. Not really my field of expertise.”

Ethari smiled, pulling out his laptop. “Actually, that’s even better. That way you can tell me if I’m too fast or cryptic on some things.” He switched to his presentation, setting the laptop down in front of him and patted the seat besides him.

Once Runaan had settled there, he started his first slide and accompanying introduction. The bodyguard occasionally interrupted him to ask some questions but otherwise, they passed the following hour going through his presentation as if the one person was a room full of conference attendees.

A good hour before they arrived, Runaan’s voice had returned to its usual precise pronunciation but was still a little rough. Ethari wondered whether that was his tell tale of consumed alcohol. Maybe he’d get to test that theory again some time.

Janai came by once more to remind him to change into ‘more appropriate clothes’ as she put it and handed his bodyguard a folder with the routes to the hotel that they could take. He skimmed all of them briefly before selecting one blindly and handing the rest back to her to give to the other drivers.

Meanwhile, Ethari went for his suit, unzipping the transport sleeve and shrugged out of his hoodie and sweatpants. “Should I leave while you dress?” Runaan asked from his seat, pointedly looking at his face instead of his now only boxershorts clad body.

“Nah” he shrugged “I don’t care and that bathroom is way too tiny to comfortably change.” His bodyguard shrugged and busied himself with donning the discarded teal tie. He looked very cute with the collars flipped upwards and eyes trained on his reflection in the window Ethari decided while he stepped into his own suit, tucking in the burgundy dress shirt. After a bit of contemplation, he decided on a dark gold bow tie and began to warp the silky material around his neck.

Next to him, he could hear a tsk and suddenly, Runaan was standing right in front of him, motioning for the bow tie. “Let me.” Full well aware that everything he’d done was probably wildly askew, Ethari let his hands drop to the side and watched the other’s concentrated expression as cool long fingers got to work at his neck. Fingers that could probably snap said neck in a heartbeat. Still, he felt oddly safe in his bodyguards proximity. He had that strange underlying feeling that no harm would ever come to him as long as Runaan was close.

Ethari left the Airplane with an impeccable Bowtie, backpack slung over one shoulder and laptop case and poster roll in each hand. He followed his bodyguard who shouldered them a path through the small crowd of reporters that somehow had gotten wind of their exact arrival time and were now showering them with camera flashes and questions. Janai occasionally halted to answer one, effectively allowing the two of them to escape towards one of the SUVs with tinted windows.

The engineer got in the backseat while Runaan placed his suitcase in the trunk and took the duffle bag with him on the passenger seat. A few orders via comm line later, they were pulling off the airport and towards the hotel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rubs hands* soooo


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a shorter one but the next will be longer again!

Ethari took one giant leap and landed softly in the cushions of the king size bed in his suite. Even with a private plane and very entertaining company that had been a long flight. It was also about 7am in Scotland at the moment and neither of them had slept yet.

“You could at least wait until I finished checking the room.” Came the scolding voice of his bodyguard from somewhere behind the curtains.

“Awww but the bed is so comfy and the seats on the plane get unbearable after more than six hours.” A bit of whining should be allowed right?

“You have a private plane. Buy better seats.” Somehow Ethari wasn't quite certain whether he preferred quiet and stoic Runaan or dead honest Runaan.

“I know an Asian place around the corner that makes pretty good soup ‘n stuff. Can we go once you're done?” he almost expected a ‘no' but after a deep sigh and some shuffling, Runaan re-emerged from the bathroom he just screened.

“If you dress nondescript and try to keep a low profile we can go in an hour. I still need to speak to the security chief about storing my guns.”

“Really?” at this point Ethari didn't even care if he sounded like an overzealous child. He was majorly sleep deprived and hungry.

“Yes, take it as a test for tomorrow. If you manage to stay under the radar for this evening I'll visit whatever you want to see with you under the condition you never leave my side.” Runaan even mustered up one of his rare mini smirks at his exited expression.

“I'll be on ma best behavior then.” He did a little mock salute as his bodyguard left the main room of the suite to his adjacent room. He emerged a few minutes later, already on the comm line with the rest of his security personnel, clearly arranging the next days schedules and transport.

Ethari decided he would use the time to shower and select an outfit for the evening that was sufficiently non-descript. After fifteen minutes under a giant rain showerhead, he settled on a pair of ripped and faded black jeans, a purple hoodie and matching grey beanie. Like this he could easily be mistaken for yet another grad student. He passed the time until their departure with going over his talk again, tweaking the power point here and there. 

“Ready to go?” Ethari startled a little, so engrossed in his talk that he hadn't heard the soft thread of his bodyguard.

“Uh yeah" his head immediately snapped towards the voice and then, he stopped. Was that- no. That wasn't? Was it?

Runaan was standing in the doorway of his room, arms crossed in front of his chest, wearing tight black jeans, a very form fitting blue v-neck and a goddamn leather jacket. His feet were clad in heavy leather boots that looked worn and well loved.

“Ya-" he started, gesturing at the whole of his bodyguard “Ya own _jeans_?

White brows arched themselves in amusement. “Why wouldn't I?” there was a slight jab in his tone, making Ethari blush.

“Okay. Let me re-phrase that; ya _wearing_ jeans? _Voluntarily?”_

Runaan rolled his eyes and began to walk over. “When I say low profile, I mean low profile. You nailed the college student look by the way.” When he moved, the engineer could see that the long white hair was now gathered in a single high ponytail contrary to his usual style. Just one single tiny strand had defied his will and was dangling in front of his face.

Ethari grinned and reached into his hoodie’s front pocket for the pair of glasses he only ever wore at home, perching them on his nose. “How about now? I was going for struggling art student who is underselling his abstract art to afford a studio downtown.”

His bodyguard gave him a once over again with raised eyebrows. “It would be if that Hoodie didn't cost four hundred pounds.”

“Pfft details, details. It's soft so sue me.” Ethari had already grabbed his jacket; a black bomber, and was on his way out.

The other followed, tapping his earpiece “Moving out now. Close in on location if I don't check in every twenty minutes. Keep an eye on the hotel while I'm gone.” Whoever was on the other side must have confirmed the order because Runaan nodded to himself and fell in line behind him like he usually did.

Out on the street Ethari stopped after they passed a few blocks. “Ya know you can also walk beside me right? It'll look weird this way.” After a moments hesitation, his bodyguard complied and matched his strides to Ethari's.

“Thank you for coming with me.” This little endeavor probably costed a good portion of nerves for the other. “I know it's probably a hassle for ya.”

Runaan just shrugged “I am more concerned about the conference to be honest. As long as nobody knows we are here there is nothing to worry about.” He sounded tired, a bit drained even and Ethari just then realized that he wasn't the only who hadn't slept for a good 23 hours. And knowing Runaan he'd probably been up since five thirty, preparing the transport and stressing about the plane ride.

At the lack of something else to say, they continued their trip in silence until the engineer halted in front of a tiny shop front. “There we are.”

As per usual, Runaan opened the door and went in first. It was a small restaurant, crammed with tables and guests while several servers were weaving through the space. His bodyguard narrowed his eyes when Ethari greeted the old lady behind the corner with a hug and spoke in rapid japanese. She laughed and nodded, motioning for them to follow.

They continued through the busy restaurant to a portion in the back that had little round seating areas secluded by curtains and sat down in the one farthest away from the other guests. Runaan moved to show her his open-carry permit and weapons import stamp but she only glanced at it and smiled, saying in broken English that it was no problem here and that “Nikkou" had already explained everything. His bodyguard seemed ready to bolt but he still sat down at their table without making any move to take off his jacket.

As soon as they were alone in their little booth, Ethari gently placed a hand on his shoulder. “Oba-chan has had this restaurant forever. I used to come here a lot during my year here as a post-doc. I explained that you were my bodyguard and therefore carried some guns and asked for a private table. She’s safe, trust me.”

A bit reluctantly, Runaan relaxed into his seat and shrugged off the leather jacket. “If anyone here calls the Yakuza I will never let you live that down I hope you are aware of that.” Pleased that he won this round with minimal arguing, Ethari tried to find the guns but couldn’t see the familiar shoulder holster. “I can live with that. Aren’t ya carrying today?” he’d never seen his bodyguard more than five feet away from a gun. Not even in his room off-duty.

The other stood and turned around, providing a clear view of a double carry holster tucked into the back of his jeans and clipped to the same tactical belt he always wore. “Is that a new holster?” he asked to pull his eyes upwards to the guns instead of the other’s admittedly lovely behind.

“Uh, no?” clearly not prepared for that question Runaan sat down again, bracing his forearms on the table.

“Soooooo I usually just order some of everything and then maybe we can share?” Ethari hadn’t been there for a while but he assumed the menu was still the same. The other nodded, glancing at the laminated menu in front of him. “Of course. If you don’t mind keeping it vegetarian?” Vegetarian? Interesting. Thinking back, he’d never seen Runaan consume meat but then, they hadn’t shared many meals were both of them were eating.

“Sure, most is either way.” When one of the waiters passed by their table to drop of a steaming green tea or each of them, he placed their order and leaned back.

“Did you decide on where you want to go the next two days until the conference starts? I’d still have to have someone check out the places before we go.” Runaan took a sip of his tea, small smile tugging at his lips at the taste. “This is good.”

“Oh yeah, I made ya a list, or a schedule really.” He rummaged through his pockets a bit until Ethari shoved a folded piece of paper over the table. With a questioning look, his bodyguard unfolded the paper and studied the very detailed time schedule he’d made for the following two days. Lists were his forte. Schedules even more so.

Slowly, Runaan nodded and pocketed the paper. “That seems to be reasonable. I’ll have it checked by tomorrow.” 

When they arrived back at the hotel, Ethari couldn’t do much more than collapse on his giant bed. It had been a long one and a half days. On the other hand, it had also been a productive one and a half days regarding his ‘coax Runaan out of his shell’ project. He allowed himself one last stare at his bodyguard in skinny jeans and a leather jacket before the other vanished in his adjacent room. “Use the panic button if something happens. I will be right there.”

“Sure”

He was cleaning his guns when someone suddenly appeared behind him and cornered Runaan into the wall, strong hand planted on his chest.

“Drop that.” Ethari, who was entirely too close, ordered and he complied without a second thought, gun clattering to the floor uselessly.

“Good" hands securely clasped around his wrists, pushing them up against the wall. His knees turned weak once Ethari shifted his grip, holding both his wrists with one hand to tip his head upwards with the other. He hadn't really noticed before but the engineer was a bit taller than him, mostly not noticeable by his lack of posture and oversized clothes. 

Runaan could feel his pulse jumping rapidly at his throat, heat pooling in his abdomen as he looked up into these impossibly soft auburn eyes. Even now, as they were dark and their pupils blown, they emitted a sense of calm.

Slowly, Ethari let his hand trail down the side of his face before his calloused fingers gently closed around his throat, increasing the pressure as he leaned in to whisper in his ear. “I noticed.”

With a gasp, Runaan woke up in his hotel bed, sheets suddenly far too hot and clinging to his sweaty skin. His breath was labored, trying to compensate the lack of oxygen in his brain. The bodyguard struggled into a sitting position, detangling from the sheets that had been wrapped around him tightly. Instinctively, his gaze snapped over to the set of knives on his bedside table before finally settling on the phone next to them; six am.

This was absolutely not working out for him. He’d had the occasional dream about his employer in the past but never quite like this. Additionally, they were far away from home so he couldn’t just call one of his usual arrangements to get it out of his system. Bloody hell. How did this happen?

Runaan wasn’t used to this. To feeling more than the occasional urge. This longing, it was slowly corroding his defenses. And his restraint.

It had already been a very close call on the plane earlier. If Ethari kept successfully pushing his buttons like he continuously did for a couple of weeks now, he’d probably have to resign to safe face. But he found that he didn’t want to. Didn’t want to give up this job, this friendship he’d found. Even if it was slowly driving him crazy.

With a deep sigh, he rolled out of bed and pulled on some athletic shorts and an old hoodie before stepping into his running shoes. A bit of rummaging in his suitcase also produced the headphones he’d been looking for. On his way out, he grabbed his phone and roomkeys, making sure to be quiet when he passed Ethari’s sleeping form in the main suite. He looked so peaceful, buried under far more blankets that he’d ever be able to stand, cuddling with one of the large down pillows.

At least someone was getting their well needed sleep.

Runaan set off in a slow jog towards the ocean, following the places on the engineers list.

Three hours later, he returned to a still mostly asleep Ethari, the disheveled look cancelling out every and all consolation his run had given him at once. Damn him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can I get a moment of silence for poor Runaan's sanity?


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, Ethari awoke to the sound of a door opening and closing. Looking up from where he was buried under all the blankets he’d managed to find the other day he could see the familiar silhouette of his bodyguard plucking a set of headphones out of his ears. “Mornin’” he grumbled, slowly working himself in a sitting position.

“Good Morning” why did that bastard sound so well rested? Runaan was clad in a Hoodie and athletic shorts, breath a bit labored and cheeks flushed.

“Run?” the engineer asked, slowly blinking until his vision wasn’t blurred anymore.

Nodding, the other pressed a few buttons on his phone, probably to stop whatever he’d been listening to. “I checked out some of the locations for today. We are good to go whenever you are ready.” Runaan had his hair in a french braid that looked like he’d done it a thousand times even though he’d never seen him with that hairstyle before.

“Uh, yeah sure, lemme just get dressed and grab a coffee m’kay?”

By the time Ethari had successfully detangled himself from his blanket burrito, the other was already back in his own room probably dressing for the day.

A good ten minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom, now clad in one of his customary hoodies and comfortable worn jeans. They were going for low profile after all. Runaan was dressed in a similar manner as the previous night but had changed the v-neck for a dark blue dress shirt with tiny white specks on it. Additionally, a pair of large aviators was perched on his nose, making it impossible to see his eyes. Ethari also opted for his sunglasses but more for the convenience of not having to put in his contacts rather than the undercover effect he was sure his bodyguard had chosen them for. “Okay” he smiled, grabbing his jacket, phone, money and room keys. “Let’s go.”

His bodyguard led him down to the parking garage and through a couple of side doors until they left through the back entrance of a completely different building. Impressed at however Runaan had managed to pull that off, he grinned, gently shoving the other’s shoulder. “Yer pretty good at that sneaking around stuff.”

Just barley could he see the white eyebrow that rose above his sunglasses. “I used to do this professionally before deciding the Crown didn’t pay nearly enough for the effort. But thank you, it is appreciated.” Huh, Ethari stopped, that was the first time the other had mentioned his prior job. It sounded suspiciously like special forces or intelligence. Fancy.

Their first stop was a little bakery where they each got a coffee and something to eat. Runaan opting for a plain bagel with cream cheese and a tall black Americano while he chose a borderline disgustingly sweet frappuchino with accompanying pastries. After a bit of coaxing, Ethari even managed to convince the other to eat a piece of his oatmeal raisin cookie.

At his request, they continued down to the piers via cable car; the engineer laughed at every downward turn and Runaan captured a few videos he’d asked for with an amused smile, completely unfazed by the rapidly moving vehicle he only held onto with one hand at most. Ethari made a mental note to take the cable cars as often as possible during their stay.

They passed some time in the various shops and watching the sea lions before continuing towards the beach in front of the Maritime Museum. Once there, Ethari immediately kicked off his shoes and rolled up his pants to splash in the shallow water. The open sea was just so much nicer than his pool at home. His bodyguard watched him for a couple of seconds before also toeing off his boots and socks to join him in a bit of a distance to prevent water from getting everywhere.

Runaan looked so different in his casual clothes, boots in one hand and staring out over the bay. Normal. Relaxed. It was a state he seldom saw the other in. Especially not when they were travelling or in transit. Content to let him enjoy the calm for some more time, Ethari waded back onto shore and sat down in the sand, drawing geometric patterns. A couple minutes later, his bodyguard sat down beside him and glanced around. “I have to admit I enjoy your sight seeing far more than the conferences. Less people, less possible hazards.” Seemingly content with his perimeter sweep, he dropped backwards on his forearms, letting his head fall back so the white hair pooled in the sand behind him.

Ethari smiled, abandoning his sand doodles to look at the other. “Which is the precise reason I wanted to come here earlier. And to annoy Janai.” Runaan huffed a laugh at that, pushing his aviators up on his head, eyes squinting at the bright sunlight. “I am pretty sure you manage to do that on a daily basis.” They spent a good hour just sitting on the small beach, observing both people and seabirds before he voiced his desire to grab something to eat and they ventured to find the nearest burger joint.

“Good thing I went on a run this morning.” His bodyguard commented at his second quinoa burger, visibly delighted at the taste. “Pfft please” Ethari snorted, holding his own bag containing multiple cheeseburgers. “It’s one, eh two, burgers. What are they gonna do?” the other just shrugged, more than occupied with his meal. Somehow, he managed to eat both without getting barbecue sauce anywhere. The engineer called bullshit. There had to be some weird blood magic involved. Four napkins later, he, too, was free of any burger residue so they ventured on towards the japan district on foot. Occasionally, Ethari pulled his company into a shop or to look at some street art but otherwise they didn’t visit anything special, simply wandering through the city.

At some point, they passed a building ruin turned street gym where a couple of locals were running parkour and he could see Runaan glancing over to them with a hint of longing to his eyes. “Wanna give it a shot?” If he’d learned one thing in the months with his bodyguard it was to read all of his little tells a stranger wouldn’t even notice.

“I am not certain that is a good idea. I haven’t done this in a while.” The other regarded the walls and bars with an assessing look. He was still checking out the best route, Ethari realized and grinned.

“Hm but ya want to right?” a small smile tugged at Runaan’s lips as he shrugged, focusing back on him.

“I guess.” Since that was probably as close to a confirmation he’d get, the engineer motioned for the parkour. “Then what are ya waiting for, come on I’ll hold yer stuff.” With only a second hesitation, Runaan nodded and began to shrug out of his leather jacket.

When he pressed it into Ethari’s hands, he could feel the heavy shape of the two handguns wrapped in it. He noticed that his bodyguard had apparently kept the throwing knives somewhere on his person as he continued to unbutton his dress shirt, leaving him in an equally dark blue tank top. The shirt got added to the pile in the engineer’s arms before Runaan did a few stretches and adjusted his belt to accommodate the loss of his two handguns and their concealed carry holsters. Lastly, he detached the two ammo clips from his belt and also piled them onto Ethari who by now felt like that guy girls took shopping to hold their stuff.

Some of the locals had stopped their own exercise, watching the white-haired man with interest as he made his way over to the parkour but not without checking the perimeter once more. One of them came walking towards Runaan as soon as he reached them, holding out his hand in a greeting. The other shook it, exchanging a few words before falling into a light jog towards one of the walls.

With an ease that seemed inhuman, the bodyguard pulled himself up in one swift motion, both feet landing on the small ledge as if it was a few feet wide. One of the locals whooped as Runaan nimbly jumped from wall to wall, quickly making his way across the small plaza, gaining more momentum. Meanwhile, Ethari had closed in to get a better view of the admittedly very nice combination of shoulder muscles and biceps.

He realized that the prior few jumps had only been warmup when his bodyguard suddenly backflipped from one ledge to the other, using it only to catapult himself back to his original spot. He continued to scale some of the higher walls then until finally returning to ground level with a tuck and roll jump from a height that should not have been safe. The local he’d spoken to before offered a fist bump that Runaan accepted after a moment of hesitation and by now, the engineer was close enough to hear their conversation. Upon asked, the other supplied that he’d done a bit of parkour in his teens and stuck with it as means of workout. Visibly impressed, the local nodded and offered him to join their city run later which his bodyguard refused politely. “Who’s your friend?” the guy asked, suddenly pointing at him.

“Uh hi, ma name’s Ethari.“ he said, procuring a small wave as well as his full arms allowed. The guy smiled, giving him an appreciative once over.

“Pleased to meet you.”

“Likewise?” he tried, holding out the pile of clothes and weapons to Runaan who began to re-dress and finally clipped the handguns back onto his belt, shrugging back into the leather jacket. His hair was surprisingly intact considering he’d just spent a good ten minutes vaulting through a ruin.

“You got a permit for those?” one of the others asked upon seeing the weapons. His bodyguard nodded, reaching in his back pocket to produce a leather-bound badge that he showed them, putting it back once the guy nodded. “So British Embassy Security? Sounds fancy.”

“It really isn’t. We have to go now, have a nice day.” With that, Runaan put a hand on the small of his back, leading Ethari away from the group and into the next alley.

“So fake badges huh?” he asked once they were out of earshot, not able to keep the tease out of his voice.

“It’s real. I just never turned it in upon being reassigned.” Huh.

“Handy, why did ya want to leave so soon?” the locals had been nice enough after all but he’d become accustomed to not question Runaan’s actions.

“I think one of them might have recognized you.” Oh. Well that was unfortunate. They were meant to keep a low profile after all.

They continued towards the golden gate park and wandered through the green area until the sun was slowly setting over the bay. “Alright” Ethari said, tugging the other away from the park and back into the streets. “We have one last stop for today.” For once, Runaan didn’t complain and just let himself being dragged through the city until they reached streets lined with rainbow flags. Castro.

The engineer chose a bar he remembered from when he’d been a post doc in Berkley and opened the door before the other could even think about protesting. Sounds of Karaoke music wafted out as soon as he pushed inside, leaving his bodyguard no choice but to follow.

“That was not on the list.” Runaan stated, visibly grumpy at the change of plans.

“Call it spontaneous craving for fun.” He shrugged, giving the most innocent look he could muster before sauntering over to the bar.

Ethari ordered Whisky and a Sex on the Beach, tipping the bartender better than was probably the norm around here and pressed the glass into the other’s hand. “Just relax for once, will ya? No one knows we’re ‘ere.” Runaan looked displeased but accepted the drink nonetheless, letting him lead towards a secluded table that overlooked the stage and dancefloor.

After the fourth butchered 90’s song, the engineer downed the remainder of his cocktail and stood. “Someone has to show these poor people how it’s done.” Runaan looked at him skeptically, eyebrows raised but didn’t comment on it besides a “If that is on youtube later you get to explain it to Janai.” He could live with that. At least for now, that would be a problem for future Ethari.

He patiently waited with the DJ until a group of friends had finished “Don’t stop believing” and collected the microphone. Ethari had been a Karaoke god in his college days and sure enough, after the first few lines of David Guetta’s “Dangerous” the whole room was cheering, chanting along the lyrics. He smirked, looking over to where Runaan rolled his eyes and ordered a new drink.

_Don’t make a sound,  
talk to me now  
Let me inside your mind._

He sang, winking at the bodyguard before re-focusing on the rest of the audience. Judging by their reaction, he still got it. Pleased with that outcome, he didn’t protest when they called for another song.

_So I got my boots on,  
Got the right amount of leather  
And I'm doing me up with a black color liner  
And I'm working my strut but I know it don't matter  
All we need in this world is some love_

The bar cheered once they recognized the song, some people already back to dancing to the music. Runaan was still seated at their table but at least he was now tapping against his glass with the rhythm. The engineer figured that was about as much of a reaction he could possibly evoke.

He didn’t know whether it was the cocktail of the adrenaline that got him to wink at the other again once he sang the next few lines.

_Yeah if I had you, then money fame and fortune never could compete  
If I had you, life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy_

Slightly scandalized by his own actions, Ethari quickly looked away again, missing the way the white-haired man choked on his drink with a slight blush on his face. He accepted a few high fives after the song was finished, taking up the microphone again. “Okay thank you everybody, I think I might have one more for ya.” He got excited whoops in response and a thumbs up from the DJ regarding his song choice and a few seconds later, “DNA” by Little Mix started blasting from the speakers. Apparently, he’d picked a local favorite since everybody was singing along until Ethari wasn’t on the stage anymore but on the dancefloor with the rest of the audience. They finished with more or less off-key shouting the last verse, everybody laughing after.

Since apparently tonight was the night of bad decisions, he hopped back on the stage, pointing towards where Runaan had been attentively watching him dance among the crowd. “My friend here would also like to sing but it too shy to do so-“ he could see the bodyguard make an ‘abort mission’ gesture, intently glaring at him. “So why don’t we motivate him a bit, huh?” Runaan gave him a ‘fuck off’ sign and stoically remained on his seat.

Sadly, or luckily, depending on the perspective, the crowd was already moving towards him, pulling the other to his feet to shove him over to the stage. The white-haired man took a large step away from the prying hands “Fine! Fine, I’m going I’m going. Calm down.” His death glare was just a tad bit frightening as Ethari handed him the microphone to return to the crowd. Maybe he’d get suffocated with his pillow later, who knew.

“Alright” he started after speaking to the DJ “I might need some help with the vocals. You will know when.” The crowd cheered, some of them patting Ethari on the shoulder for his past performance.

A few seconds later, the familiar guitar riff of “Chop Suey!” blasted through the speakers, evoking the first headbangs. It was about the last song he thought the other would pick but-

Runaan nailed the lyrics.

The timing was perfect and his voice, while a bit rough also made for a decent enough sound. Ethari couldn’t within but stare as his bodyguard screamed in the microphone as if he’d done it a thousand times already. Surrounded by a whooping crowd, the engineer also cheered, filling the second vocals with the rest of the others by shouting “You wanted to” in chorus.

_When angels deserve to dieee_

Runaan finished to enthusiastic applause among the crowd, Ethari being the one shouting the loudest. Someone started demanding another song until the other nodded and promised to “do just one more”.

This time, the engineer didn’t recognize the song, choosing to listen to the lyrics to find out what it was about. It was a rock number with relatively soft vocals that somehow matched Runaan’s slightly scratchy voice perfectly.

With fascination, he watched him do airdrums before the lyrics started, flipping his wrists as if he was playing an actual drum set.

_Well, I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind  
I left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time  
But I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon  
I feel there's nothing I can do, yeah_

Some of the others seemed to know the song, singing along the chorus while the rest resorted to either dancing or cheering.

_If I go crazy, then will you still call me Superman?  
If I'm alive and well, will you be there and holding my hand?  
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might  
Kryptonite_

Only belated did he realize that Runaan was looking at him, giving him a wink much like he’d done earlier before continuing with the lyrics.

_You called me strong, you called me weak  
But still your secrets, I will keep  
You took for granted all the times, I never let you down  
You stumbled in and bumped your head  
If not for me then you'd be dead  
I picked you up and put you back on solid ground_

A warm feeling spread in his stomach, making his heart beat faster as Runaan re-focused on the rest, taking a few steps across the stage. The song ended with cheers and a bow from his bodyguard who handed the microphone to one of the others, jumping off the stage and heading for the table.

“That was quite impressive.” Ethari grinned, fresh cocktail in hand as he slid back into their booth pointedly ignoring Runaan’s sigh.

“Yeah well I happened to be drummer in a rock band when I was in school.” Oh, did he now? He immediately pictured teenage Runaan with a bandana and tank top.

“Do you still play?” but the other shook his head, standing up again, empty tumbler in hand. “No, not really. Do you want something else?” Ethari declined, pointing at his still almost full cocktail.

“Nah ‘m good.”

As soon as Runaan left for the bar, another figure slid into their booth, smiling at him. “Hey, I saw you earlier and wondered if you might have some free time tonight.” The guy was about his height, athletic but more in a showy kind of way and absolutely not his type. He had short cropped dark blonde hair and a smile that seemed shallow even in the dim light of the club.

“Thank you for the offer but I am not really looking for that right now.” The engineer politely declined. There was no need to be rude.

“Aww come on.” The other smirked at him, reaching over to place a hand on his knee and definitely crossing his boundaries in the process. “Why don’t you give me your number and we’ll see about that later?”

Now very uncomfortable, Ethari shook his head again, steeling his voice. “I’m not interested thank you.” It took all his willpower to not just slap the others hand away as he began to rub circles over his knee. “Playin’ hard to get, are we?”

Before he could make a very snide comment about private space, another voice sounded from next to him.

“Hands off.” Runaan basically growled, setting his coke down on the table with a forceful click.

“Back off man, we were having a conversation here.” Creepy dude stated, making to move closer to Ethari. His bodyguard had a knife at the other’s ribcage faster than he could track with his eyes, angling his body so that no one would be able to see the glint of the metal.

“From where I am holding that knife right now, it takes about as long as your brain needs to process what I am saying now to pierce your heart through your lung.” Competence. Ethari always had a weakness for competence.

“What the fuck man-“ the other started, cutting off immediately as Runaan increased the pressure on his blade.

“I will take that away now and you will stand up, take your drink, tip the bartender and leave. And if I see you again, I will shoot on sight.” The bodyguard’s voice was calm and even, but the underlying steel made the threat even scarier.

“Okay okay, geez calm down.” Upon being released, the guy basically bolted out the bar, not even glancing back.

“Asshole" Runaan stated to himself before turning back to Ethari. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” He shook his head with a slight smile, patting the bench next to him. “’m fine. Thanks for scaring that guy off before I could break his knuckles.”

Instead of answering, the bodyguard slid in the seat next to him, effectively shielding him from the rest of the bar. “Hm, better not make a scene. I don’t want to explain to the local police why some moron is bleeding out in a karaoke bar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably apologize for the amount of clichee in this chapter but on the other hand: protective Runaan;)


	6. Chapter 6

It was probably a bad idea. Hell, who was he kidding? It was a terrible idea.   
Still, Ethari shrugged into his jacket and shoes as quietly as possible and silently closed the door to his suite behind him. Taking a few breaths, he waited for anything indicating that he’d woken his bodyguard. Nothing. He knew that Jake, who was on duty today always took a twenty-minute smoke break two hours into his shift so the hallway before him was empty. With quick strides, he made his way to the elevator, riding down into the parking garage. He’d memorized some of the way Runaan had shown him the other day so getting out of the building wasn’t all too hard. Technically, he knew it was reckless to leave the hotel without security but Ethari desperately needed some time alone to think. The last few days with Runaan had been nice. Normal. He was afraid to lose that again once the conference started and they went home again. By now, the engineer was sure he had at least a tiny chance. Every once in a while, something from Runaan slipped past the stoic exterior, betraying his façade entirely. But Ethari wasn’t sure he’d be able to coax it out.   
He walked a few blocks until a bar caught his eye that looked shady enough that no one would recognize a world-class engineer. Perfect. Taking a seat at the bar, he ordered Scotch over his usual sweeter drinks. He needed something that burned tonight. 

Holding his sleeve against his nose to keep from bleeding on the expensive carpet, Ethari anxiously waited for the elevator to arrive at his floor. Maybe nobody had noticed his absence? All hopes of that got crushed the second the doors slid open.   
Across from him at the end of the hallway, Runaan was pacing. One hand pressed his phone against his ear, the other held one of the handguns, flicking the safety on and off again in a rapid rhythm. He was dressed in black slacks and a dress shirt that looked like he'd pulled it on in a hurry, half of the buttons still undone. His bodyguard’s gaze snapped over at the ‘ding' of the elevator, eyes narrowing after a second of what Ethari hoped had been relief on his face. “Never mind I found him.” He ended the call and holstered his gun, crossing his arms in the process.   
Slowly, the engineer stepped closer, hand still covering his bleeding nose and most parts of the bruise on his jaw. “Where the bloody hell do you think you can just sneak off to in the middle of the night without-" Runaan stopped, eyes zeroing in on his nose. With one pull, he had Ethari securely at his side, shoving him back in his suite.   
“What happened?” his bodyguard gently but firmly pried his hands away to look at the damage done. “Do you have any other injuries? Headache? Vertigo?” he shook his head, motioning for his arms and upper body.   
“Just a few bruises.” Runaan nodded, motioning for him to take off the hoodie and handed him a cloth handkerchief for his nose. Who still had those? He gave Ethari a once over before nodding to himself, apparently glad to see it wasn't as bad as he feared.   
“You will need Ice.” Runaan handed him a few canned drinks from the minibar to press against the worst bruises. “Now,” he said, voice eerily calm while gently holding a coke to the bridge of his nose. “-tell me who did this.”   
Dutifully, Ethari told him of the bar and the three guys that had attacked him outside for a reason he wasn’t quite sure actually existed. He even described their appearance upon asked. It didn’t seem like the best plan to antagonize his bodyguard right after he’d run away at night to get a drink and got his ass kicked.   
Runaan nodded once he was done, motioning for him to take over the coke. “I will tell Annie to bring some ice. If you so much as take a single step out of this room until tomorrow morning, I will shackle you to my wrist for the rest of the trip, understood?” Ethari nodded as much as he could while still holding his head back. “Uh huh”   
“I will be back in about forty minutes.” Runaan stated, throwing his coat over the dress shirt he hadn’t even fully buttoned up yet. Before he could protest, his bodyguard was out the door and gone. Probably to yell at the rest of his security personnel for letting him slip away so easily. Or maybe to get yelled at by Janai. Probably both, he concluded and took a seat on his bed to wait for the Ice.   
Ethari was splayed on his bed, covered in ice-packs and a box of tissues in hand when the door opened again just over half an hour later. “Hey I hope Janai wasn’t too hard on ya-“ he started, breaking off when Runaan just made a beeline for his room, drawing the door shut behind him. After a bit of rustling behind the door, the bodyguard emerged again, clad in track pants and a t-shirt.   
“I will be in the gym, call if you need something.” Ethari only caught a quick glimpse of a split lip and bruised knuckles before he was gone again. Huh.   
He wouldn’t. Right? Now curious, the engineer sat up form his bed, walking over to the adjacent bedroom. His fingers halted over the doorknob, aware of the privacy he was about to disregard. After a moment’s hesitation, the engineer opened the door to look at the room. It was, as expected, tidy to a fault with a few exceptions. His guns and knives were strewn on the bed next to their holster, the shoes he’d worn just a moment ago kicked off carelessly and a half empty pack of cigarettes on the desk. He hadn’t been aware the other smoked.  
Through the half-opened bathroom door, Ethari could see something red poking out of the laundry basket. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be one of Runaan’s dress shirts and a bath towel. Oh no. The busted knuckles suddenly made much more sense. Careful to leave everything behind the exact same state he’d found it in, the engineer returned to his room, contemplating.   
When the other wasn’t back half an hour later, he took out his phone and texted Can you come over? I want to talk. A good five minutes after, the door opened again, revealing a slightly sweaty Runaan, towel slung around his neck. “What is it?”  
“I, uh, I just wanted ta say that ‘m sorry for bailing on ya that way.” The other sighed, running a hand through his hair.   
“Just make sure to not do that again, okay? We woke half the hotel to look for you and Janai was just short of beheading Jake for letting you slip away. And me for not immediately knowing where you might have disappeared to.” Ethari nodded, feeling terrible for putting his team through so much trouble just to get a moment to himself.   
“I know, ‘m sorry. I just wanted to be alone for a bit.”   
“You know you could have just asked and I would have arranged for that right?” he found that he could merely shrug, that was not the kind of alone he needed. “Anyhow,” Runaan checked his watch “We have to be at the conference in about six hours to pick up badges so you should try to sleep now.” The bodyguard then returned to his own room, drawing the door shut behind him.   
Ethari followed his suggestion, slipping under the blankets as he was fully clothed only to drift into sleep almost immediately. He dreamt of Runaan and the fury behind his turquoise eyes when he asked who’d hit him only to be rudely interrupted by his alarm, blaring “Back in Black” at full volume.   
To his surprise, he awoke to the smell of fresh coffee and pancakes and found a basket with fruits next to a steaming cup of coffee and a stack of pancakes drowned in marple sirup on the desk. “I ordered you some breakfast to safe time.” Runaan said, appearing in his blurry face of view, already dressed in a black suit and apparently awake for at least a good hour.   
“Uh thanks?” He waited until his bodyguard left the suite to check over their transport to leave the bed and change in the bathroom. Today was a day for sweaters so Ethari selected a thin midnight blue pullover to go over his light blue dress shirt before pulling on the dark grey blazer.   
His nose still sported a purplish bruise and there was another one on his jaw, contrasting prominently against his tan skin. This was way too noticeable.   
“Here, let me help with that.” Ethari shrieked a bit when his bodyguard suddenly appeared in the refection behind him but nodded. Runaan gently tipped his head to the side and began to dab a bit of concealer over his bruises, repeating the process until he nodded to himself. When he looked back in the mirror, Ethari couldn't find any traces of the purplish marks.   
“Oh wow yer good at that.” Runaan just shrugged, also looking at their reflection in the mirror.   
“How do you think I always manage to look like I just slept ten hours and had a spa day?” that. That was surprisingly honest and explained quite a lot. He'd always just assumed the other simply looked that way all the time.   
Ethari cracked a grin “I just thought yer looked like that by sheer force of will.” His bodyguard smirked, winking “Yes, that too of course. Come on finish your food so we can go.”   
It had been over a year since the last time he'd sat foot in the Moscone Conference Centre but Ethari felt like it had been yesterday. Nothing had changed and the familiar sight of hundreds of people in business suits, excitedly talking about the newest inventions reminded him why he loved conferences. Meeting people. Some he hadn't seen for years or only met here once a year.   
Runaan lead the way towards the badge pickup, always keeping a close eye on their surroundings. Behind Ethari, Janai and four additional security personnel created a bubble of free space around him.   
The clerk handed Janai and the engineer their badges, politely asking his security to wait for their security chief. A couple of minutes later, a tall man in a light blue suit arrived, motioning for them to follow. He offered a hand to Runaan, smiling. “Haven't seen you around for some time Lunaris. You’re doing personal security now?” the other nodded, taking the offered hand.   
“Good to see you, too Ibis. I swapped almost two years ago.” The man in the blue suit ran a hand through his messy hair, opening a door for them. “Well at some point we all get replaced don't we? Are Tia and Lain still working for the crown? Haven't heard of them in a while.” He had a rather pronounced British accent, sounding like someone had just plucked him right out of oxford.   
“I suppose you are right. And yes, they are.” Ibis grinned, motioning for a small conference table.   
“Ah yes those two always were the faithful ones. Here are your full access passes. Don’t lose them. If you have ten minutes we can also discuss the security measures we have already taken and what would still be up to you. I take you got my Dossier?”   
Runaan exchanged a quick glance with Janai before nodding. “Yes I have. And that would be preferable. The list of arms I submitted beforehand was approved, I take nothing changed in that regard?”   
Ibis pulled out a tablet, flicking through various tables until he found what he’d been looking for. “No, no they are all fine. But seriously, still with the knives?“ his bodyguard simply shrugged, small smirk tugging at his lips.   
In the end, their meeting took over half an hour because Runaan found several minor weak spots in the existing security that the other begrudgingly agreed to fix until the following day.   
“Anything you want to do until your talk today?” Ethari checked his watch, flicking through the schedule until his eyes caught a familiar name. He pointed at a talk about the optimization of thorium reactors and nodded.   
“Yes, there is a talk by a friend of mine in hall c in twenty minutes.” Janai excused herself, deciding to mingle with the other business executives instead, taking three of her security detail with her. Annie and Jack remained at their side, both looking extremely bored.   
“Ethari! Hey Ethari!” someone called, quick footsteps approaching them in the rather dense crowd. In a split second, Runaan was in front of him, right hand wandering to the gun in his shoulder holster. A familiar face appeared, trying to shoulder his way through to Ethari. He got about another two steps further before his bodyguard shifted, ready to grab and tackle.   
“Relax, relax. I know him. He’s ok.” The engineer was quick to grab the other’s wrist keeping him from possibly throwing hands with one of his friends. Runaan relaxed a bit and stepped aside but he still noticed that the other’s eyes were firmly trained on the approaching man.   
“Hi Lee” Ethari held out his hand, waiting for the other to grab it so he could pull the smaller man in close for a hug. “Long time no see, I missed you last year.” Lee nodded, adjusting the glasses on his face as soon as the engineer let him go again.   
“Ah, yes, my university wouldn’t cover the travelling fees. You know how it is, budgets are never great. But you don’t have to worry about that any more after starting at Lux Aurea don’t you?” the other laughed, gently shoving his shoulder.   
“Nah not really. I was heading over to see Marisha’s talk in C, want to come with?” his colleague nodded, eyes drifting over to Runaan skeptically.   
“Uh yes, of course just-“ he edged a bit closer, leaning in to whisper in Ethari’s ear. “-why is that scary guy staring at me?” a glance at his bodyguard who was standing next to him with an expression set in stone, eyes glinting had Ethari laughing immediately.   
“Oh that’s just my bodyguard. Runaan say hi.” He could clearly see the other’s eye twitch at the suppressed eye roll before his bodyguard plastered a fake smile on his face holding a gloved hand out to Lee. “Hello”   
The other took it with maximum awkwardness, not even daring to look in the turquoise eyes for longer than a heartbeat. “Nice to meet you?”   
“Likewise” 

Runaan followed them into the conference hall, taking a seat a few rows behind him while Annie and Jack stayed at the door.   
When they changed halls again, leaving Lee, to make sure everything was set for his presentation in half an hour, his body guard resumed his place besides him. “Will ya continue to scare everyone that dares to talk to me?”   
Runaan grinned, a playful twinkle in his eyes. “You have to admit it was a bit fun.”  
“Yeh” Ethari allowed with a chuckle. “Though I think the poor man will have nightmares tonight.”  
“I’d be offended if he didn’t.” he still wasn’t quite used to the bodyguard’s dry humor but nonetheless glad he felt comfortable enough in his presence to joke.   
Their little procession arrived at the main auditorium just as they started the coffee break, allowing Ethari to directly speak with the tech crew. With minimal arguing, they allowed him to hook up his own laptop and made a few adjustments for the sound so his voice wouldn’t be too loud or quiet.   
Janai turned up just as he clipped the receiver to his belt, fiddling with the microphone cable to maneuver it under his sweater and up to his collar. She took one of the reserved seats in the first row, looking all the way the business executive in her dark red pencil skirt and caramel blouse.   
He could see Runaan talk to all four other guards, sending them off to different corners of the hall before walking back towards him. “If I tell you to do something, you do it immediately without questioning it ok?” he sounded tense, eyeing the large glass panels that showed the downtown San Francisco skyline.   
Ethari smiled “Yes, Sir.”   
“I’m serious you know, I looked into who tried to abduct you and I am certain several oil companies would rather see you gone. This is the perfect opportunity. Be careful.” Something in his tone made the engineer stop. Runaan never sounded concerned. Annoyed, yes, stressed even but never truly concerned.   
“I promise I will do whatever yer tell me to alright? It will be fine.” the other nodded, gaze once again sweeping the hall.   
“Are you sure you don’t want a vest?”   
“I am.” Runaan sighed but nodded, taking his place at the edge of the stage. Ethari went to sit on his spot with Janai, waiting on the rest of the audience to arrive.   
Ten minutes later, the lecture hall was packed, people even standing in the back. It was nice to know so many of his colleagues valued what he had to say even though the engineer could see a good number of press, too. In the shadows of the stage, he could see a pair of turquoise eyes watching the room with nearly inhuman focus. Whatever happened, Ethari was sure he’d be safe. Runaan looked like a statue, hands clasped behind his back and feet at shoulder width but he was certain the bodyguard was more than ready to bolt should the necessity arise.   
Applause pulled him from his daydreams as the head of the conference walked up on stage, holding a small opening monologue. “And now my dear colleagues, I present you Dr. Ethari Alasdair Carlow, head engineer of Lux Aurea industries.” Briefly, he wondered why they kept mentioning his middle name. It was not like he was some kind of royalty only to be distinct from his forefathers by the full seven given names plus title.   
“Thank you.” He started after jogging up to the stage, accepting a handshake and half-hug. “Thank you all for coming here today. Not so long ago, I had my first poster presentation down in the poster halls and let me tell you this here is so much more stressful.” The audience laughed, clapping when he pulled up his first slide. “But now, I would like to talk about one of the new projects we have been working on at Lux Aurea. You are welcome to ask questions after the presentation and I will be here the whole week to answer anything that might go beyond the scope of this presentation-“ from his very convenient location on the podium, Ethari could see several journalists and early career scientists ready their notepads, eyes eager and awaiting whatever he would be presenting today.   
It was a nice feeling and the main reason he accepted the part time lecturer position at the University. Teaching people brought him considerably more joy than board meetings and maybe he would go back to the University full time at some point but at the moment, federal research just couldn’t come up with the funds he needed to realize his ideas. 

Runaan watched his employer jog up the steps of the stage, a warm smile on his face as he addressed the huge crowd that had arrived to hear him talk. It was fascinating how he found the confidence to just stand there and hold his admittedly perfectly planned presentation when he usually preferred to not have too many people around him. But this was Ethari’s element. And oh, did he strive in it. The bodyguard could tell that every single one was glued to his lips, paying rapt attention. He was good at explaining, especially to people who didn’t know anything about it.   
When they went through the presentation on the plane, he’d managed to explain everything perfectly even though Runaan was far from, being an expert in the field and had been more than mildly intoxicated at that point.   
“Boss, I think I saw something.” Annie whispered through his earpiece, immediately drawing his gaze to her from where he’d been scanning the crowd. “Where?”   
“I’m not sure. I just think I saw a pointer move across the room, maybe just one of the journalists.” He motioned for her to make a round through the hall just to be sure and switched his own position a bit so he was able to see Ethari from the front.   
“I’ll look out. Thank you.”   
He focused back on the engineer, searching for any signs of immediate danger when Annie spoke up a few minutes later. “Nothing in the hall. Probably a trick of the light.”   
“Alright, resume position.” Briefly, he looked over to see her weaving through the standing crowd at the back. When he refocused on Ethari, something caught his eye. A dot. A red dot. Shit.   
“GET DOWN” he yelled, dropping in a sprint towards his employer who stared at him wide eyed, frozen in place.   
Then, several things happened at once.   
Runaan reached him, launching in a full body tackle that send both of them tumbling to the floor and off the stage.   
Glass shattered somewhere to their left and faintly, he could hear a gunshot.   
Annie shouted through his headpiece for the rest of his team to close in.  
The audience screamed.   
Then, pain. A sharp tug in his arm had him instinctively curling closer around Ethari to shield him from whoever dared to try and shoot him. A few seconds later, Annie arrived at his side, falling to one knee and patting his shoulder. “I can’t see them. But I think it’s one shooter on a rooftop. The glass is busted.” Struggling to his knees, Runaan nodded, angling his body between the engineer and the window.   
“We need to get away from the window. Now.”   
Together, they formed a human wall around Ethari while the bodyguard pulled him up by his shirt and shoved him in the direction of the doors.   
Of course, the press was still there. At some point, Runaan was sure he wouldn't be able to keep from shooting one of them for being absolute batshit crazy. “MOVE" he ordered, shouldering a way through the cameras and panicked conference attendees. They had to get further into the building.   
Right now, the shooter had a clear line of sight and could pick off anyone they wished.   
Finally through the doors, they were faced with Ibis and his team, desperately trying to calm down the mass of people, leading them away in a relatively controlled manner. His former squad member came jogging over, motioning for them to follow.   
“Come on, let's get you out of here.” They took a couple key-card secured doors before finally arriving underground in the surveillance area of the local security. Ibis closed the door behind them, ordering one of his subordinates to go and coordinate a proper response before he ran a hand through his hair, huffing a laugh.   
“Man and here I thought we could have one bloody meeting without getting shot at. Authorities are on their way, I'm afraid you will have to stay here until they arrive.” 

Ethari, who had finally awoken from his shock nodded slowly, sinking down into one of the office chairs. “Why would someone shoot me openly on a congress?” he still wasn't entirely sure why someone would want to shoot him in the first place but that was an entirely different matter.   
“Less security"  
“Public”   
“Jackass"   
Annie, Ibis and Runaan supplied simultaneously, all looking rather pissed at the turn of events. He couldn’t blame them. After all, it promised far more work for them and also more danger. “Well is there a chance for me to resume my lecture this week?” three pairs of eyes regarded him as if he’d just proposed to steal the Mona Lisa in broad daylight.   
“Excuse me?” Ibis was the first to recover, drawing up both his grey eyebrows.   
“I mean, I would like to finish my talk and I think most of the attendees also would like to hear the rest of it.” The blue clad man glanced over to Runaan.   
“That man is insane. How do you always manage to get the suicidal ones?” his bodyguard just shrugged, breaking the motion off with a wince.   
“I’d say you get used to it but you really don’t.” had he landed too hard on his shoulder? Ethari couldn’t quite remember which of them had ended up on top but judging by the bruises he was sure were currently forming on his body it hadn’t been him.   
“Are you hurt?” the engineer blurted, moving closer to examine the other’s arm. Runaan was just about to open his mouth when Ibis rolled his eyes and reached for the pager at his belt. “Fuck’s sake Lunaris could you for once keep from getting shot? Hello? Yes, I need medical down in security. One person. Graze.”   
“Fuck you” but Ibis only grinned, settling on the conference table.   
“We need to discuss how this is going to continue. Obviously, the main hall is not operational anymore so we have to re-shedule and I am not even sure the conference will continue like this. The authorities will definitely want to investigate and from a security perspective, I should shut this complete thing down right now but that is sadly not my call to make so we have to wait until management decides on that. However, I won’t let you leave until the police was here.” The group nodded, all settling in one of the chairs when Janai arrived with the rest of their security.   
“I just spoke to the management, the conference will continue but they will take a day off tomorrow so everyone can calm down and they can fix the windows and up security. They don’t want you to leave just yet, after all a good portion of their attendees just came for your talk.”  
Ethari perked up at that. “So, I am allowed to do the rest of the presentation at a later point?” Annie facepalmed, Ibis rolled his eyes and Runaan just stared like he intended to burn Janai right where she stood.   
“Yes, we will also need to make a press statement, preferably today or tomorrow.” Ibis held up a hand, looking somewhere between pissed and exhausted.   
“Okay Lady, we do have a couple of problems here: how the bloody hell are we supposed to man that with your four guys and my team of thirty? Huh? I can’t just conjure up more personnel.” Janai raised a single eyebrow, looking pointedly in his direction before hitting a speed dial in her phone.   
“Hello? Yes, Jeffrey, I need additional security for the conference. I think you heard. Alright, thank you how fast can you be there? Perfect.” With a smug grin, she placed the phone back in her purse. “We get an additional forty police officers and a special operations team. I just spoke to the head of police. Now, tell me how we are going to use these so that whatever managed to slip past your security today doesn’t manage that again. I am sure you are quite fond of you job, Mr-“  
“Aeras, Ibis Aeras. We talked over the phone.” 


	7. Chapter 7

Ethari was busy setting up a conference call in his hotel room while his bodyguard swiped the whole area for bugs. After the conference, everyone was bit more on edge than usual. Not that he could blame them of course. It was just simply annoying. The desk, while situated in a corner was considerably large and thankfully housed enough outlets that Ethari had been able to hook up all his extra screens. Board meetings were boring as it was but if he couldn't really discern who was talking it got even worse.   
A green light indicated that the call was ready so Ethari un-muted his headset before hitting the accept button, waiting for the secure line to connect. “Hey Runaan you don't actually have to be here I know these things are super boring for-" his eyes travelled across the room but there was no trace of the bodyguard. However, when he sat down, his knees bumped into something, causing a muffled sound to erupt from under the desk. “Couldn't you have waited for five minutes until I am done checking for-" a soft ‘pling’ indicated a now connected call and a pair of panicked teal eyes suddenly gazed up at Ethari. Well, shit.   
There was no way the other would be able to leave without being seen on his webcam and it would look absolutely inappropriate if his employee just appeared from somewhere between where the engineer’s legs were.   
Runaan opened his mouth but he was quick to clamp a hand over it, successfully muffling the surprised yelp. “Good Morning, Gentlemen. Shall we begin?” Ethari greeted in his best poker face, fake smile plastered across his face while his very attractive bodyguard was literally trapped between his legs and he couldn't even enjoy it. After he’d carefully retracted his hand to a natural position on the desk and exchanged a couple of pleasantries with the other board members, He could feel a tap against his knee.   
Discreetly, he rolled back a bit, waiting a couple of seconds before glancing down to not be too obvious about it. Runaan was perched on the balls of his feet, glaring at him intently with a rather cute pink blush shining through what he now knew to be concealer under his eyes. He pointed at his phone and then up to where the engineer’s laptop was perched on the desk over him.   
A question pulled Ethari’s focus back to the screen where he had to, once more, explain the assault the other day and watched as they started what would most certainly continue to be a lengthy discussion. Suddenly, a soft ‘pling’ alerted him to a message popping up in the corner of his screen.   
R. Lunaris: Stop that video conference.  
He could. Theoretically, he could probably come up with some excuse to turn off the camera for a few seconds but then, he really wanted to continue his lecture and he needed the board on his good graces for that. Most of them were already skeptical regarding him attending conferences in general and he didn’t want to fuel these thoughts in any way at all. So really, he couldn’t.   
‘Sorry, can’t’ he quickly typed back in the guise of taking notes of the conference call which he absolutely wasn’t.   
R. Lunaris: Why the bloody hell not?   
Ooh the other must be really mad. Ethari found himself enjoying this a lot more than he probably should. Even if it was at the expense of his bodyguard.   
‘Need to be on their good side, better not antagonize the board. I asked for a new laser the other week.’ He had. It was expensive but so worth it. Just had taken him a ton of paperwork.   
R. Lunaris: I am going to strangle you.   
Ethari smiled to himself, giving his two cents in the discussion on screen before returning to the little chat window.   
‘You won’t.’ He wouldn’t. If there was one thing, he was absolutely certain about, it was that Runaan would never hurt him. Be it intentional or otherwise.   
R. Lunaris: How long is this going to take?   
The engineer looked at the timestamp that read 8min24sec and then back to the list of talking point he had opened on his desktop. ‘Maybe another hour? Maybe less, probably more.’   
R. Lunaris: I will not sit under your desk for an hour Ethari.  
Oh, the use of his first name. Things were getting serious. Maybe he would get strangled later. ‘I’m afraid that you will.’ Somewhere around his knees, he could hear a very quiet string of muttered curses as soon as he hit enter.   
Seeing as the discussion took a turn that was a bit more interesting for him, Ethari closed his chat window for the time being and focused his whole attention on the screen and the group of board members. A few minutes passed undisturbed before he felt the careful but urgent tapping on his knee again. Someone was getting impatient, he thought, inwardly grinning. It was doing things to him that he had Runaan trapped under his desk. Such a small thing to keep someone as dangerous as his bodyguard pinned in place.   
Ignoring the reoccurring tap, Ethari continued with his conference call and tried his best to keep his focus in the discussion and not with the very attractive guy currently trapped between his legs. Damn was this room getting hotter?   
A couple more messages from Runaan popped up but he ignored them in favor of thoroughly charming the board into thinking that this was a great opportunity to show that Lux Aurea wouldn’t be stopped by assassins in their effort of developing renewable energy solutions.  
R. Lunaris: Ethari  
R. Lunaris: Let me the fuck out.  
R. Lunaris: Ethari I swear to everything that is holy I-  
R. Lunaris: This isn’t funny.  
After the fifth message, he stopped reading and muted the chat in order to even be remotely able to notice whenever he was expected to talk.   
Suddenly, something sharp was pressing against the inside of his thigh, right over his arteria. Wait-   
The shape was distinctly knife like. He wouldn’t. Right?   
As he discreetly glanced down, he was met with blazing turquoise eyes glaring up at him and a shiny silver knife pressed against his inner thigh. Bastard. Runaan’s look said ‘let me out or so help me’ and he was almost inclined to do so before Ethari’s body acted on its own and placed his sock-clad left foot on the others chest, pushing him back on his ass with one forceful push.   
He glanced down just long enough to see the other’s eyes widen in shock, knife falling from his grasp and clattering on the hardwood floor.   
“Oh, sorry, I must have accidentally kicked the trashcan.” Ethari smoothly lied into the camera, effectively masking the small yelp from under the table with his voice.   
He shouldn’t enjoy this as much as he did. He really shouldn’t. And yet, he found himself grinning as he closed the video call and slowly rolled the desk chair back to finally release his bodyguard from his prison.   
Any snarky remark that Ethari had planned on saying died instantly on his tongue at the sight before him. Runaan was still sprawled out in the position he must have fallen into after the kick, one hand braced on the floor behind him, the other subconsciously tugging at his teal blue tie. There was a violent blush on his face, clearly visible even in the dim light under the desk. The engineer’s brain short circuited the moment Runaan’s tongue darted out to wet his lips and he was reduced to staring. Oh dear.  
“I-“ the bodyguard stuttered, voice coming out strangled. “I- I need to- go.” And with that, he all but bolted from his spot on the floor, slamming the door to his room shut before Ethari could even think about saying anything. Well that surely was interesting, his brain supplied once it was actually able to form a straight thought again. Or, well, a thought.   
On the other side of the door, Runaan’s back hit the mahogany. His heart was hammering so furiously in his chest the man was afraid it might jump out of his ribcage any second now. He couldn’t do this anymore. Even his iron will succumbed to Ethari with his gentle eyes and sharp mind and mischief and biceps and-. Okay, wrong topic. Wrong topic entirely, he told himself. The plan was to calm down not get even more worked up.   
Alright, Runaan thought, break down and prioritize. He could do that. First, cold shower then think and then- what exactly was he going to do? Obviously this wasn’t working out like he’d tried to tell himself. Until now, it had been okay. He’d put all his potential feelings for Ethari in a box and shoved it away to the very far edge of his mind. But the plane ride here had been a close call, far too close for his taste and now- now this idiot had to, to do that.   
The bodyguard shivered as he turned his head up towards the icy stream of water, trying to numb the crawling under his skin that pulled him back into the other room. No. No no no, he was a professional and that over there in the adjacent suite was his boss for Christ’s sake. Tia and Lain would surely laugh at him if they could see him now, had laughed at him when he told them of his dilemma upon his last visit. Maybe he could- no it was probably dead in the night over in the UK. When he slowly lost all feelings in his limbs, Runaan shut off the water and wrapped himself in one of the hotels criminally soft bathrobes. Taking out his private phone, he shot a quick text to Lain, asking whether the other was awake and had time for a call.   
Not even two minutes later, his phone chimed with the familiar first notes of “Thunderstruck” and the bodyguard fumbled to swipe accept with his still numb fingers. “Hey” he croaked, voice not even remotely close to having recovered. “Gods Runaan are you alright?” the familiar voice of his best friend asked over the phone. He could hear cars in the background.   
“Yes, I, uh, I’m fine. Nothing bleeding if that’s what you’re asking.” He was met with a heartbeat of silence before Lain’s tone shifted from concerned to teasing.   
“Oh hell, I know that tone. Did you get laid? Who is the lucky guy? Do you want Tia to background check him? Do we have to hunt someone down?” with a deep sigh, Runaan pinched the bridge of his nose, listening to his best friend ramble over the phone.   
“No, Lain- Lain calm down.” He tried to urge in a hushed tone, still in the bathroom so Ethari wouldn’t overhear their conversation. “I just need advice.” And maybe someone to vent to, he thought.   
“I see, so; who is it?” he could still hear the grin on Lain’s face, could picture it vividly even. Right now, he wished they were back in Scotland so he could just jump on his motorcycle and drive the couple hours to meet in person and maybe get a pint somewhere.   
“It’s, ah, kinda still the same guy I already told you about?” Runaan tried with a wince at the sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line.   
“Wait, YOU SLEPT WITH YOUR BOSS?” holding the phone a bit farther away from his ear, he took another deep breath.   
“No, look, calm down okay? I didn’t sleep with my boss. Who do you think I am?” the bodyguard was a tad offended.   
“Alright, but then explain the voice.” The what?   
“Voice?” now, Runaan could practically hear the eyeroll. “Yes, dear jackass, the voice. You know. The “I just got lucky or am about to get lucky voice”. I must admit that I am a bit concerned to be able to recognize it, you should really stop answering your phone during your one night stands.” Calling had been a bad idea.   
“Okay first of all, I always answer the phone when you guys call me, it could be an emergency and secondly, there is no voice.” What did he do to deserve Lain as a best friend? ‘Questionable life choices’ his brain supplied immediately.   
“There is and my point still stands. Anyhow, back to your problem, spit it out. What kind of advice do you need?”  
Here goes nothing, Runaan thought and briefly recollected the plane incident and what had just happened. “- and frankly I don’t know what to do. Despite my boss having a deathwish, I actually enjoy this job a lot and don’t want to jeopardize our work relationship but-“   
“-but you also really want him to push you against a wall and kiss you senseless?” Lain deadpanned.   
“I-, well, yes.”   
“Do you think he would be interested?” he could hear footsteps on the other end and a couple of doors opening and closing before the sound of cars intensified again. “Patrol” his friend supplied, confirming his guess.   
“That’s precisely my problem Lain. I am not sure. I think I caught him checking me out a couple of times and he gets kind of clingy when drunk but he never made a move. There is definitely no way he’s straight though.” A hum from the other side filled the silence that stretched between them until Lain spoke up again.   
“But he doesn’t have any current relationships? I mean you managed to fall for handsome and rich, there have to be at least a couple suitors, right?” count on his best friend to cut straight to the core.   
“Not that I know of. At least not since I have been working there, nobody who wasn’t a friend or colleague has entered the mansion and he usually doesn’t display any interest when approached at galas or otherwise.” Runaan would be lying if he said he didn't keep an eye out for that.   
“That's good right? So, he is not committed to anybody. Go for it.” If it only was that easy.  
“He is still my Boss and it would be highly unprofessional. Besides I'm probably imagining things and there is nothing between us.”   
“Look, Runaan, you are overthinking this. If you're not sure, just drop a few hints and if he's interested and only mildly better than you at these things then he'll bite.” What was that supposed to mean? True, he'd never been in a long lasting relationship before but he wasn't that oblivious.  
“What kind of hints are we talking about here?” and if Runaan had just fetched the hotels complimentary notepad and pen, nobody had to be the wiser.   
“Oh, you know the usual stuff. Compliment his looks or his choice of outfit, try to flirt a bit, initiate non-work related contact. You know the drill.” Lain genuinely sounded as if he was rattling down a grocery list.   
“Okay, great, thank you, I'm just not sure if he uh-" Runaan just barley stopped himself from rambling on. “-would be inclined to lead?” his best friend instead finished the sentence for him.   
“Lain!” he hissed to a mischievous chuckle on the other end.   
“Oh come on I have known you long enough. Besides remember that one time when we were still sharing that shitty apartment and I had to untie you from your headboard because your date ditched you or that time when-"  
Runaan cut him off “Yeah, yeah I get it. My sexuality is apparently an open book.” He did not need to reminiscent that particular happenstance.  
“Eh, you're just not very subtle. But, uh seriously, he's an engineer right? I mean he looks tall on his pictures and all but, you know.”   
When had this conversation shifted from his problem to Ethari's qualities as a lover? “He could probably bench press both of us at the same time.” And Runaan couldn't quite keep the smug tone from his voice as he remembered the many times he stole glances during his employer's morning workout.   
“Damn" was the only thing Lain said before he could hear more voices in the distance. “Okay sorry I gotta run but keep me posted okay? And call whenever you need to, you actually seem serious about this one.” His best friend said before hanging up. And he was, wasn't he? Serious about Ethari. Maybe more so than ever before. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING MILD SEXUAL CONTENT AT THE END  
> if you're uncomfortable with that, stop at "...okay" or maybe let someone you know read first and then decide

Runaan felt a bit better after the call, glad to have such good friends to rely on when he needed them even though both Lain and Tiadrin could be a huge pain in the ass.

Sufficiently calmed down, he re-dressed in his slacks and button up and left his bathroom again. The bodyguard could hear the faint obnoxious clicking noises from Ethari's mechanical keyboard on the other side of the door and was suddenly very aware of their close proximity. Running a hand through his hair he first stress braided the sides of his head and then put the rest up in a messy bun to dry before heading out to the balcony attached to his room.

Runaan pocketed the half empty pack of cigarettes from the other night more out of long forgotten habit than actual decision as he passed the desk. One wouldn't hurt right? He'd already succumbed to it when his employer went missing, why bother now?

He had almost forgotten the soothing routine of tucking a cigarette out with his teeth, lighting it and watching the smoke curl upwards while nicotine rushed through his body. His formally twitching fingers stilled immediately, now having found something to occupy themselves with. He also remembered why it had been so hard to quit. Runaan tended to box away stress only for it to erupt at a certain point thus making every stress relief method cherished and crucial for his sanity.

“Didn't know ya smoked.” His eyes snapped over to the adjacent balcony where Ethari leaned on the rail, mirroring his position.

Runaan forced his eyes away again, instead staring into the distance “I quit.” from the corner of his eyes, he could see a pair of dark eyebrows rise in skepticism. “I really quit years ago-“ when Tiadrin was pregnant as to not accidentally endanger the child. It had taken him the better part of the nine months to even manage a single day but once Rayla was there, other things were suddenly more important. “-I'm, I was, a stress smoker and frankly old habits die hard. Annie happened to have some when you went missing, I'm just finishing the box.” He held up the mostly empty cardboard box to elaborate.

“I see.” Ethari gave him a quizzical expression. “Then I guess I should apologize for being responsible for your relapse.” He knew it was meant as a joke but there was a hint of concern in the other's voice.

“Nah, it's fine. It happens ever so often but I’m really over it. Here-" and he flicked the rest of the pack over, watching as his boss briefly inspected it and then tucked it into his back pocket.

“I still need to apologize for earlier though. Sorry for trappin’ ya so long and, uh, thank you for not actually slicing my arteria.” Ethari rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, a slight blush on his tan skin.

He flicked the rest of his cigarette over the railing, watching the glinting stub plummet towards the sidewalk “Yeah you do but don't worry I would never hurt you.”

“I know you wouldn’t.” came the soft reply before his employer seemed to realize that he’d said that out loud and cleared his throat. “I mean what’s the point of killin’ the person ya were hired to keep alive right?”

Runaan had to chuckle at that, turning sideways to let his eyes roam over the other’s form. Ethari had his sleeves pushed up and top few buttons undone. Together with the glasses perched on his nose he looked like the bodyguard imagined him as the college professor he’d briefly been before working for Lux Aurea. “To be honest, you make it hard enough. I feel like I need a spa day.” He really did. One couldn’t substitute actual sleep with stress forever. Sadly, all his, albeit unhealthy, coping methods were off limits right now. He’d given up smoking despite the occasional relapse, that hadn’t been a lie and looking for an easy lay was nothing he could nor wanted to do at the moment.

Next to him on the other balcony, Ethari perked up “We can make that happen.”

“Sorry?” he wasn’t quite following

“The spa day. It’s barley afternoon and as far as I am concerned there is nothing to do until the reboot of the conference tomorrow. You already did all the scheduling with Ibis over the phone this morning and frankly, if I choose to make use of the hotel’s spa area you would be forced to accompany me either way right?” oh no no no that was a bad idea. Being in close proximity with a shirtless Ethari after just barley escaping utter embarrassment didn’t sound like something he wanted to cross off his bucket list.

“I don’t think-“ Runaan started but was immediately interrupted again. “Nonsense, this is a great Idea. I’ll make the calls.” And gone was his employer, off to take him one step further on the grate between heaven and hell. He was never going to survive this. On the other hand, a voice in his head supplied, dying in a hot tub with Ethari sounded positively divine.

Slowly, he also returned to the main suite just as the other put the phone back down. “Everything settled!” Ethari beamed “They will clear one of the spa areas for us so you don’t have to worry about threats and someone should be here any minute with swim trunks for the both of us.”

“Great” he managed to choke out as his mind already vividly portrayed the scene he’d be in soon. _Oh bloody hell_. What had he done to be tormented like this?

It didn’t even take five minutes before a knock sounded at the door and one of the hotel employees delivered two stacks with what looked like bath robes, towels, slippers and a pair of swim trunks with the hotel logo on them each. The woman sized both of them up before handing one of the stacks to the engineer and setting the other on the sideboard besides the door as he didn’t make any move to get it.

“Alright!” Ethari beamed at him with that 5000 watt smile before moving to his bathroom. “Meet back here in 10?”

Runaan found he could only nod, still firmly planted on his spot in the middle of the room.

When he managed to kick himself back into action, half of the time had already passed so he collected the stack meant for him, accepting his fate. Splashing cold water in his face to force the blush away that was now very visible without the concealer, the bodyguard stared himself in the eyes, mentally repeating “You got this.” until at least part of him believed it. Before returning to the main suite, he shot Lain a quick text explaining his dilemma and with his choice of headstone should he decide to run into his own knife later that night. Apparently, his best friend had more confidence in his abilities since he saw the ‘go get ‘em tiger’ text with attached wink emoji popping up right as he closed his phone.

Ethari was already waiting for him and hopped to his feet as soon as he opened the door. “Operation Spa day is a go!” he exclaimed with a wink and mock salute before moving to leave the suite.

Taking one last deep breath to calm his swirling thoughts, vivid imagination and pent up sexual frustration of the last few months, Runaan followed him. The elevator ride was quiet besides the happy tune his employer hummed and they arrived at the entrance to the spa area far faster than he would have liked. Annie, who was waiting for them in front of the door, gave him a curious look but didn’t comment on her superior’s choice of wardrobe.

“Do you like Saunas?” the question hit him entirely unprepared so he just nodded out of reflex. “Uh sure?” truth be told he hadn’t really been to one, yet. The spa day had been more of a joke after all.

As promised, the hotel had vacated part of the spa area for them, leaving Runaan and his employer alone surrounded by steam and the sound of slowly running water. “Alright, then let’s start with that.” The engineer gestured for a foggy glass door and peeled off his bathrobe to hang it, towel now slung around his neck. His mind needed a full thirty seconds to re-boot before Runaan was able to produce any semblance of movement again. _Calm down, calm down, calm down_ , he scolded himself as he also left his bathrobe and followed into the steam filled room. Ethari was already lounging on one of the wooden benches, arms behind his head and ankles crossed looking perfectly at ease. Damn him.

More for his own sanity, Runaan took a seat about as far away as he could, hoping the steam would mask his nervousness and hide enough of his boss to not give him a heart attack every time Ethari so much as moved.

They sat in silence for a while until the other laid down on his back instead and looked over to Runaan. “So what do ya usually do to relax?”

“I- er…” he started, mind racing for something to say that wasn’t ‘oh you know usually I just go to a bar, pick up some guy and then never see him again'

“Yoga, mostly.” It wasn’t far from the truth. The bodyguard did practice yoga and Thai chi regularly but more for their other qualities next to relaxation.

Ethari smiled, brows furrowed in contemplation. “That sounds difficult though. I think I’m not even flexible enough for the lotus seat. Or that thing you do where you link both arms behind your back.” _Of course not,_ Runaan thought. _Your damn biceps would get in the way of that._ Okay, wrong train of thought. He needed his blood in his head.

“It's mostly practice really.” The bodyguard recovered, pleased to find his voice sounding as indifferent as always.

Ethari used that opportunity to sit back up, abdominal muscles working under his tan skin. “Still impressive.”

His answer came a tad late since Runaan was currently busy biting his tongue and drawing blood to keep from jumping his employer right there. _No no no no no. This one is off limits idiot_. “Thanks I guess.”

Ethari beamed at him, now back to lounging against the wooden benches, both hands behind his head. It did wonders for that triceps display. “Anything else you like to do? I feel like I hardly know anything about you and you probably know my favorite kind of cereal.” Runaan had to huff at that. Usually his employers didn’t actually care about him, primarily seeing him as a disposable meat shield.

“Is that a trick question? You don't eat cereal.” A wicked grin appeared on the engineer’s face.

“My point exactly. I only know that you are vegetarian, despise grilled cheese, like your ice cream with whisky and probably love fried vegetables but that is just a hunch.” Runaan shivered a bit despite the suffocating heat at how perceptive Ethari was. And how well he apparently paid attention to details.

“I feel like I should apologize for throwing away your grilled cheese sandwich that one time. I assumed it was Annie’s.” It had been sitting in the conference room for an hour. An hour. Who even ate these things after they were stale and gooey? His employer just smiled, shaking his head.

“No, no it’s fine. Completely forgot about it either way. But my question still stands: what’s your favorite food? What do you do for your free time? Where do you stay at when you leave for the weekends Janai forces on you?” Those were a hell ton of questions for one day. But since they seemed safer than what other thoughts were currently ghosting through his head, Runaan decided to humor him.

“I like Pho and blueberry muffins. Usually, I just do sports or visit my friends and my goddaughter. During employments where I have to live on-site, I stay at said friends house or a hotel whose owner I know.” While he was talking, he could feel Ethari’s eyes firmly trained on him as if he was hoping to extract more information just by looking harder.

“Your goddaughter. Is that the niece you mentioned before?” He’d mentioned Rayla exactly once in an offhand comment. How was his boss remembering everything so well?

“Yes, her name is Rayla. She’s twelve.” Speaking of, a visit was probably overdue. He’d promised to teach her some new moves with the purple butterfly knives he’d gifted her to her last birthday. Runaan made a mental note to schedule a visit once they were back.

“You could bring her over some time if you like. I don’t mind you having visitors. Gods know the house is big enough we wouldn’t even run into each other. So you don’t have an apartment right now? Or a house?” That- that was a really nice offer. Maybe he’d take Ethari up on it. Rayla sure would love to see where he worked. She was always so excited for work stories.

“Thank you. And no, at the moment, I don’t. There isn’t much point if you are only there for maybe three days a month and I am used to moving around a lot so I don’t really miss it.” In his times for the Crown, he’d hardly been in one place for much longer than a couple months. And before that, he’d lived at the military compound. Runaan could count the months he’d lived in a flat of his own on two hands.

“Doesn’t it get tiresome to move all yer stuff so often?” if one had as much possessions and trinkets as Ethari, sure.

“Not really. I don’t have much to take with me anyways. My files and such are in a storage unit and on a hard drive at my friends’ place and almost everything else is in the guest apartment at your house. I have maybe four boxes worth of books and other things so it all fits in one car if I do need to move.” His boss had used the time he took to reply to scoot closer, elbows now braced on his knees and chin in his hands while he regarded him curiously.

“So that’s all you own?” he sounded astonished. A bit shocked even.

“More or less, yes.”

“Don't you have trinkets and keepsakes and such?” this topic seemed to rattle Ethari considerably.

“A few.”

“But what-“ he gestured around “-what if you travel somewhere and want to keep a souvenir?”

“I always write a postcard to my friends and buy one blank one that I mail to myself with the date on it. They have them in a box and scan them for me. Every couple of years they gift me a photobook with photocopied cards I've sent them. That's it basically.” Runaan finished with a shrug. He had sent one every tour since the very beginning without fault even though some of them were bloodstained or had burn marks.

“huh" his boss looked like he was contemplating something, eyes going towards the ceiling like they always did when he was deep in thought. “Interesting.” Ethari finally stated still with that curious undertone. “Hey want to move on to the hot tub? I think I've had enough sauna for today.”

Runaan nodded instinctively, immediately standing up. Only for his vision to shift since his body apparently didn’t appreciate the sudden movement. Before he knew it, the bodyguard found himself tumbling towards the floor.

Before he could fall entirely however, a pair of strong arms snuck around his waist, pulling him close in an effort to catch him. Now, he was pressed flush against Ethari’s chest. _Oh. Oh dear._

_Oh no._

“I-" Runaan started, trying to struggle free but the engineer kept his arms securely around his waist. “I- sorry. Could- ah, I don't-" he stammered, still halfheartedly pressing his hands against Ethari's chest. He could feel solid muscle under his hands and tried to find a less incriminating spot to rest them, ending up placing them on the other’s upper arms. Which was a mistake. _Goddmnit_ His inner gay supplied, now completely freaking out. _Those are some really nice arms. No no no! Wrong topic! Focus!_

“You good?” his boss meanwhile asked, soft auburn eyes trailing over him, a concerned furrow appearing in his brow.

“Y-yeah, um, would- ah would you mind?” despite the heat around them, Runaan could still feel the skin contact like a goddamn wildfire, spreading all over his body with every second he lingered in the other's arms. _Abort. Abort. Abort._

Slowly, as if making sure he could actually stand on his own two legs now Ethari loosened his grip until the only thing connecting them were his hands on Runaan's hips, right above the waistband. “Ya sure?” he inquired, gently rubbing circles onto his skin.

The bodyguard felt his legs turn to goo, every bit of blood draining from his brain, but nodded regardless. He needed to get away. Before he did something he'd regret. “Just-“ he started, holding up his left while his mind searched for the right words. “-just a tad dizzy.”

“Alright.” Slowly, almost seeming hesitant, Ethari withdrew his hands but let them hover close, regarding him with a worried glance. “Hot tub?” the engineer suggested after a minute of awkward silence.

Runaan licked his lips, noticing the other’s eyes drifting down at the motion. His mouth was dry as the desert despite being surrounded by steam. “Yeah. Yeah sure.” They silently made their way over, him dropping into the water immediately hoping that Ethari wouldn’t notice. _Fuck fuck fuck. You’re not a horny teenager so don’t behave like one._

Runaan would’ve imagined his drill sergeant in lingerie to calm down but sadly his drill sergeant had been incredibly hot and his first crush.

“How's yer arm doing?” the question caught him like a speed train while he'd been too busy staring into the lights.

“Arm?” the bodyguard could only ask dumbly, still trying to get his heartbeat under control.

“The graze?” Ethari gestured for the set of neat stiches on his biceps. Ah. Yes. Right. Work. This was work. This was his employer.

“Fine. I'm fine. It's fine. Great. Doesn’t even hurt.” The engineer raised both eyebrows at his rambling, evidently not convinced.

“… okay.”

They stayed silent for a while, each dwelling in their own thoughts. Runaan was extremely busy counting the water ripples as his boss spoke up again.

“Runaan?” his head snapped up at the sound of his name, immediately regretting it for probably looking too eager. “Yes!”

Ethari looked a bit uncertain but there was a heat to his gaze he hadn’t seen before. He rose to his feet, easily towering over Runaan and took a step forward, placing him between the bodyguard’s knees.

Now, on eyelevel with Ethari's swim trunks, he had to swallow, eyes slowly trailing up until they reached the familiar auburn eyes, pupils now blown wide.

“I am going ta do something now that will violate our work relationship and if I make yer uncomfortable in any way, please tell me immediately. But-" he settled back in the water, face now only a hand width from Runaan's. “-if I interpret this correctly ya might want it, too.” The bodyguard’s mind raced, desperately trying to keep up with what was happening. Before he could form a coherent thought however, Ethari’s lips were on his and his hands sunk into the other’s messy hair on autopilot, pulling him closer and fully on top of him.

The engineer let out a soft yelp against his lips but caught himself on the edge of the tub before he could crush Runaan. Not that he’d mind.

Their kiss deepened and Runaan used the moment when Ethari moved his hands back to his waist to flip them both so he was straddling the engineer. Nipping at the other’s bottom lip, he let his hands roam freely until they arrived at his boss’s swim trunks to- wait. His boss. His _boss. Fuck._

“I-" Runaan pulled back, moving to stand up from his spot in the other’s lap. “-I am so sorry. I should have never- I will-" but two strong hands were securely clasped around his waist again, pulling him back down. His body acted on autopilot, instinctively allowing the manhandling and ground down hard, reveling in the bit-off moan it drew out. Ethari pulled him even closer, planting him back over the engineer's splayed legs, both knees bumping against the hot tub. “Don't ya fucking dare leave now. I don’t care that ye’re my bodyguard and I’m willin’ to ignore that as long as you are, too.” His voice had turned into something akin to a growl, rough and wanting. _Oh fuck._

_Say no. Say no. Say no._

“O-okay" immediately, his lips got captured in a heated kiss again, putting the water around them to shame.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things get a bit heated and the boys enjoy a nice dinner  
> Lain is the bestest buddy anyone could ever wish for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: MATURE CONTENT  
> I chose not to flag the whole story as mature since it's only parts of this chapter but if you are uncomfortable with that, skip until the first break and then stop after the second and read till the end after the third. 
> 
> I also won't be able to update until the end of the month (most of this was pre written) so this'll have to hold you ever for a while. It's a longer chapter tho^^
> 
> Anyhow: Enjoy! (yes btq, soups, I'm looking at you guys)

Runaan wasn’t entirely sure how, but at some point, they ended up outside the hot tub with his legs wrapped around the other’s hips while Ethari had one arm braced under his ass and was carrying him somewhere.

He was just about to ask where they were going when his back hit cold damp tiles and the engineer shifted his grip to crowd him properly against the wall.

“Ethari" Runaan pushed him back a bit, trying to catch his breath enough to get out a complete sentence. “I don't think- ah, don’t think this is a good idea.” The nipping at his neck stopped and a set of golden eyes stared at him with an uncanny intensity. Still, the bodyguard could see concern shimmering behind them. Carefully, his boss set him down again, pulling back just enough to not touch him anymore. Immediately, Runaan felt the urge to chase his touch, guide those hands back onto his skin.

“I don’t care about professionalism-" he stated, voice rough and a bit strained. “- but if I make ya uncomfortable, say the word and I’ll stop and we can forget this ever happened.”

Runaan licked his lips, hands braced against the cold times for _some_ kind of stimulation. “I-" he broke off, looking away.

Gathering his courage, he looked up again only to find Ethari’s face right in front of him, a wicked smile tugging at the other’s lips. “Tell me to stop.” He prompted, taking another small step closer until they were almost touching, the engineer’s breath ghosting over his skin. “I-" he tried again, not really sure _what_ he was going to say. His mind felt like wading through cotton candy, everything happening in slow motion while his body screamed to just take a step forward. Just an inch and they’d be touching again. Just-

“You can't." Ethari stated before letting his tongue slide over his upper teeth and biting down on it with a grin. Slowly, the engineer's hand reached out and cupped Runaan’s cheek, his thumb caressing sharp cheekbones while he let the rest of his fingers trail down towards his chin. Ethari smirked in a feral kind of way that he'd never seen before as he tipped his chin up so Runaan was forced to look into his eyes again.

“Runaan-" he murmured, other hand settling on his waist. “-do you want me to stop?”

_No. Please. Don’t stop. Stay._

“I-" why was his voice failing him? Helplessly, the bodyguard reached up and wrapped a hand around the wrist still holding his chin. He swallowed, forcing himself to look into those dark golden eyes, so full of desire and- and _care._

Ethari let his eyes wander down Runaan’s body before slowly returning to meet his eyes. “I got the feeling you don't want me to stop.” He teased, increasing the pressure on his hold on the bodyguard’s hip a bit more, drawing out a soft moan. Runaan opened his mouth only to immediately snap it shut again, closing his eyes in a desperate attempt to think of something else and somehow get away. He wanted this. There were no words to describe how _much_ he wanted this. But- but this was his boss and- Ethari’s breath was suddenly next to his ear and a low murmur reached him in the last shreds of the shell held up by his self-restraint.

“Do you want me to continue?”

There was no more thinking. No more rules. No more moral code. Just Ethari's voice lulling him into compliance. Runaan realized he wouldn’t be able to pull himself away. He would do anything the other wanted.

“ _Please"_

And back were the soft lips, gently but fiercely nipping at his bottom lip before Ethari moved down his neck, shoving him up the wall again so he could wrap his legs around the engineers hips. This was so much better than his dreams.

* * *

At some point, Runaan found himself back in the hot tub, his back against Ethari’s chest with a par of strong arms around him while the other traced the swirls of his tattoos. He wasn’t entirely sure how they got back there but his mind was currently free floating in a soft comfortable haze so he couldn’t get himself to care. Everything was perfect. Just them, security posted at every entrance, safe.

The bodyguard hummed at the gentle care of Ethari’s hands that dug into his muscles just so, relieving them of tension he’d held for months now. This was nice. He could certainly get used to that. “Runaan?” the other asked, breath ghosting over the damp skin on his neck. He gave a general sound of acknowledgement and moved his left out of the water to blindly run it through the engineer’s messy hair. “Everything alright?” Runaan was so taken off guard by the question, he took too long to answer, prompting another question. “Are you okay? I hope I didn’t make ya uncomfortable. I know I can be a bit intense sometimes and-“ he held up a hand, signaling the other to stop his rambling and shifted in his seat so he would be able to look Ethari in the eye. Those impossibly soft golden eyes held a bit of uncertainty now but there was also hope.

“I’m great.” The engineer’s eyes narrowed, as if trying to ascertain whether he was being genuine. “Really.” Runaan stressed, placing a light peck on his cheek. “Trust me. I would never let you do anything I didn’t want.” At that, Ethari’s face lit up again and he squeezed him almost tight enough the bodyguard could hear his ribs protesting.

“Okay. I’m glad I-“ he broke off to bite his lip. “I really like ya and- uh,” now, Runaan could feel the other’s heart beating faster under his hands, feeling something akin to giddiness in his stomach. “-I hope this wasn’t a one-time thing for you. If it was that it’s alright, too. I don’t wanna pressure ya into anything y’know?”

Had it been an one-time thing? Runaan sure didn’t feel that way. Usually, he only ever slept with people once or maybe twice but with Ethari, he just wanted to curl up in these arms and never leave again. He felt safe, surrounded by warm water and Ethari’s body heat, feeling the blissful high of a good afterglow. He wanted to stay here, like this, forever. “If you would like to repeat this, I’d be more than happy to.” Runaan chose his words carefully, not wanting to reveal too much of his true feelings just yet. It was dangerous and he’d trained for years to make ignoring them an art in itself.

Still, he couldn’t deny the way his heart leaped at Ethari’s relieved expression. “That’s- I’m glad. But, uh, maybe next time I can treat ya to dinner first?” Was that a date? Was his boss asking him out on a date _after_ they’d just screwed in a hotel spa? Runaan could count the amount of times he’d been on a date without using fingers at all. Wasn’t there usually an order to these things? He wouldn’t know. The times he had come close to a date (meaning he pretended to be on one for undercover purposes) had always felt weird to him. But then, he couldn’t imagine a situation he wouldn’t enjoy if Ethari was there. Excluding getting shot maybe, but then that also wasn’t as bad with his boss around. His boss. Oh right, there was that tiny detail.

“Um sure.”

The engineer beamed, placing a big smooch on his forehead that caused the lump in his throat to constrict him even further. “Great! How about tonight in the Hotel Restaurant since I’m almost sure ye’re not willing ta let me leave the premises just yet.” Damn right he wasn’t. Someone tried to shoot him just yesterday for Christ’s sake.

“Alright” Runaan allowed, a small tugging at his lips despite himself.

“Maybe we should go back?” Ethari’s eyes flitted over to the wall mounted clock. “We’ve been in here for, uh, quite some time now.” They really had. He wasn’t entirely sure how comfortable his boss would be with the rest of his staff knowing about, well, that. Runaan sure as hell preferred to keep a low profile. This was the incarnation of unprofessional. Still, he found that he didn’t regret a thing.

“Mhm yes probably.” Reluctantly, he began to detangle himself from Ethari only for the other to pull him closer and shift his grip. “What-“ Runaan started as suddenly, he wasn’t in the water anymore but cradled bridal style to the engineer’s chest. “Put me down.” He tried his best scolding glance, trying to get the other to set him down.

But Ethari only grinned, adjusting his grip once before stepping out the hot tub and carrying him over to one of the showers. “Nah.” Runaan pouted. “If ya wouldn’t like it, my arm would be broken by now so swallow yer pride tough guy.” How dared-

But then, the other was right. Besides, not walking right now sounded like a great plan. So maybe he should take advantage of that as long as he could.

Ethari shifted his grip again, prompting him to wrap his arms around his neck and legs around his hips so he had one arm free to turn on the water, adjusting it until the spray was soothingly warm but not too hot. Runaan sighed against his neck where his head was resting on the other’s shoulder, enjoying the hand that now rubbed body wash over his back in slow circular movements. “I could get used to this.” He hummed and tensed immediately as Ethari chuckled, realizing he said that out loud.

“Glad ya enjoying yerself. I’ll have ta set ya down to wash your hair though. That seems like a two hand kinda job.” Runaan nodded and allowed the other to set him on the ground where he dropped in a comfortable cross legged position. He got lost in the sensation of the engineer’s hands in his hair until the water was suddenly turned off and Ethari gone. Opening his eyes a little perplexed, he could see the other returning with one of the huge fluffy towels and promptly wrapped him in it, gently rubbing the outside of his towel cocoon to help dry off.

Another chuckle coaxed Runaan back to reality and he cracked one of his eyes open to be confronted with a set of golden ones, twinkling merrily. “Yer purring.”

“I’m not.” The bodyguard could already feel a violent blush spreading on his face, hoping it would be masked by the flush from the hot water.

“Yeah you are. Don’t worry, it’s cute.” With that, Ethari patted his head once and turned to fetch a towel of his own. Runaan opened his mouth only to snap it shut again. Cute. Never once in his life had he been called cute.

They both dried themselves off as well as possible, fully aware that they would still track water through the hotel. Just as Runaan was about to wrap himself in the soft bathrobe, the engineer walked over again and flipped the collar up a bit more, drawing it closed over his chest. “Yer might want to wrap a towel around yer neck, too.” Then, he scratched the back of his head a bit sheepishly, duking away from his questioning glance. “Sorry, I’ll be more careful next time ‘round.” Next time. There would be a next time. Too focused on that, Runaan missed whatever the other had meant to tell him and just did as prompted, pushing open the glass doors to find a really really bored looking Annie still standing guard. “Took you long enough.” She grinned, before falling silent as Ethari appeared in the doorway behind him.

The elevator ride passed in silence, none of them sure what to say and Runaan was glad the other didn’t force awkward small talk on them. He was used to silence with his boss. It was known territory and therefore safe to venture in.

Once the suite door closed behind them, Ethari turned and immediately began to crowd him against the wall. He didn’t fight it, enjoying the intensity of the kiss before gently but firmly pushing the other away. “As much as I enjoy this-“ Runaan swiftly dodged another hungry kiss. “-I actually have work to do and am on duty as we speak. I need to call Ibis again if you want to hold that lecture tomorrow.” The engineer pouted but still let himself be shoved aside with minimal resistance.

“Alright.” Then, he perked up as if remembering something. “About that dinner… can I order a table for two? Ya know so yer actually eating _with_ me and not standing five feet away keeping watch.” He contemplated his options for a second before nodding.

“If you like.” Realizing that sounded far too much as if he was simply following orders, Runaan added “I’d love to have dinner later. Let’s say two hours?” he should be done by then. And now, he absolutely needed to call Lain back. If he didn’t, his best friend would certainly shoot him upon their next meeting.

Ethari beamed at that, already on his way to the telephone. It was… nice. To have someone other than Tia, Lain or Rayla be excited about spending time with him. New but very nice indeed. “Dresscode?” he asked before vanishing in his adjacent room to actually go ahead and call Ibis.

“Whatever you like. I’d also take these swim trunks.” The engineer winked at him, dialing the number for the front desk, shoulder braced against the wall with a grin. Oh dear.

Quickly, Runaan shut the door behind him, letting go of a strangled noise that sounded like something between anguish and joy. The giddy feeling from earlier was back, making his stomach do backflips while he peeled himself out of the still damp swim trunks. He felt… soft. Soft and cared for.

Slowly though, the realization set in of what he’d just done and panic bubbled up. He’d slept with his boss. His bloody boss. True, he wasn’t in the army anymore but their values were still deeply ingrained in his soul. It was hard to unlearn years and years of training. _Fuck. But he seems okay with it. He initiated the contact. You did nothing wrong. It’s fine. it’s going to be alright. Yeah, until he realizes what he’s gotten himself into and decides he needs a new bodyguard he can- No! Ethari wouldn’t do that. He is a good man. Trust him. It’s going to be fine. Have some bloody faith in yourself._

Runaan took his time blow drying his hair and braiding it, making sure to choose a style he could keep for dinner since he didn’t feel like doing it again. When he’d procrastinated calling Ibis for almost half an hour, the bodyguard dialed the number he was given, smiling at the familiar accent sounding over his phone speakers. They should really get the gang back together at some point. Strikeforce X had been one of the most successful ones ever in the special forces. A true band of suicidal idiots.

They went over the general security strategy again, discussing when and where their arrival would be best. “There really isn’t anything I can do about the windows besides posting someone at every possible vantage point. I’ve checked them over today and am certain I covered all but I can hardly say if they won’t just use a different approach and try again.” Runaan nodded, trusting his former brother in arms to have found every single sniper spot. It had been his specialty after all.

“I agree. I am more concerned with the audience. I know you have scanners set up but that hardly does anything if they have inside contacts to the staff. No offence.” It wasn’t polite to question the other’s team but if Ethari’s Life was on the line, the bodyguard didn’t care about hurt feelings.

On the other end, Ibis sighed. “Yeah non taken. It’s going to be a stressful couple of hours. I just hope you don’t plan on sticking around for the rest of the conference.” Ah, well. That was still something he would have to discuss with Ethari. Runaan wanted nothing more than leave and return to Scotland where he knew the area and could see threats coming. But the engineer would most likely want to stick around, if only out of sheer stubbornness.

“I’m trying my best to get him to leave, trust me. It’s just not that easy most of the time.” Ibis chuckled darkly and he could hear the familiar clink of glass on a table.

“The joys of private security am I right?” briefly, Runaan remembered that Ibis’ charge when he switched to witness protection had died after a year of them trying to outrun her killers. “Yeah.”

Afterwards, he shot Lain a quick text, asking whether he had time for another call. It had to be around one am in London now, but the chances were good his best friend was still awake if he’d been working today.

Not even thirty seconds later, his phone replayed Lain’s ringtone and he was quick to vanish in his adjacent bathroom again. Better Ethari didn’t overhear this.

“The fact that you’re texting me suggests you survived sauna with your boss.” Lain sounded cheerful but he could still hear the faint tired undertone. A few seconds after, Runaan heard a coffeemaker in the back. He probably had a night shift.

“Uh yeah” He had survived. More than actually.

“Well?” his best friend prompted “Spill the tea.”

The bodyguard barley stopped his thoughts from getting lost as he tried to recollect the parts he was actually still able to remember. Some of it was incredibly hazy. “So remember when I said I wasn’t going to sleep with my boss?”

Runaan heard the distinct sound of coffee being poured, then a brief pause. “Yes, why would you mention- NO WAY!” Lain took a second longer than anticipated to catch up, then he heard spluttering and a few muffled curses.

Slightly smug, even though he kind of just got himself in a major conflict of interest regarding work and personal life, Runaan grinned, counting that Lain would hear it in his voice. “Yes”

“Goddamnit Runaan couldn’t you have said that before I spit hot coffee all over my desk?” sure he could’ve. But where would be the fun in that?

“Anyhow-“ Lain recovered quickly, rustling in the background as he probably tried to clean his workspace. “Now I really _do_ need more details. Tia says hi by the way. And that you are hopeless and we should have set you up with that guy from IT years ago.”

Runaan sighed, rubbing his temple. Of course, Tia had already heard about it. What did he even expect. “Tell her she can go fuck herself. I am making progress alright?”

“You can tell her that yourself.” The hell he would. Tia would kick his ass from London to Dubai.

“Hell no.” they both laughed, sharing the mutual fear of the third person in their little circle. Nobody crossed Tiadrin. And if they still dared, they’d do it exactly once. Runaan still vividly remembered the roasting he’d received that one time he’d tried to hide an injury from her in order to finish the mission. Needless to say he’d never attempted such ever again.

“Now tell me about this progress you’re making.” And he did. About as detailed as he was comfortable sharing and to be honest, most of the more intense parts were shifting together in his memory either way.

“-and now we are getting dinner at the hotel tonight.” He finished his recollection and tried to ignore the way his gut twisted in nervousness. What did people talk about during dates?

“Oh wow. Okay I’ll have to admit from all your hookups this definitely takes the prize. Now I want to meet this guy who managed to get through that thick skull of yours. I don’t think I remember you ever being so worked up over someone. You really got it bad man.” He- did he? Thinking about it, Runaan couldn’t remember anyone he’d ever held similar feelings for.

“Let’s say I do-“ he allowed slowly taking a seat on the bathtub rim after having paced the whole time.

“-any date advice from you oh great relationship master?” Lain laughed at that, clearly picking up on his teasing tone.

“Truth be told, Tia did most of the work.” As if he didn’t know that. Runaan had been there for the whole four months of pining after all. “Honestly just be yourself and if that doesn’t work then it wouldn’t have lasted either way. Provided you want that, for it to last.” He found he did want it to last. Or to start really. Being with Ethari felt nice. He made him feel safe and he could say with utmost certainty that that had never happened before.

“But myself is-“ he broke off, searching for the right word. Paranoid? Damaged? Weird?

Lain cut him off before he could delve any deeper into the pit of his admittedly questionable self-worth. “Whatever you’re currently conjuring up in your head, stop that. You are one of the nicest people I know and I love you. Why else would I let you teach my daughter self-defense?”

“Thanks” what would he ever do without Lain? _Perish in some ditch probably._ “So anything you’d advise me _not_ to do?” He’d have about another half an hour before he needed to get ready. Plenty enough time to freak out some more.

“As long as you don’t do your whole ‘marble statue’ routine, you’ll probably be fine. Maybe bust out some of that undercover charm you used to do so effortlessly.” Runaan would have loved to pretend to not exactly know what his best friend meant but he did. It was a state of mind he’d carefully honed over the years to keep himself safe on assignments. 

“It’s different when I'm actually interested though. And believe me, I wish I could manage the marble statue with him around.” It surely would’ve made things easier. But then he also wouldn’t have learnt that Ethari seemed to feel the same.

“Do you though?” Lain didn’t sound convinced. “Alright so here is what you’re gonna do-" oh dear that was his scheming voice. “-did you pack the eggplant colored dress shirt? Please tell me you did.”

“Yes? It’s one of my-" Runaan didn’t even get to finish his sentence.

“Great! So you take that and that one grey pant that we bought together last month if you have it. Otherwise the black jeans are also an option. But I'm guessing you're aiming for classy? Anyhow. Take those and- you’re still wearing the dog tags right?” he nodded, eyes wandering to the set of metal chips on his bathroom sink.

“Yeah?” he may have been discharged from the military but one never really left that behind.

“Take those, too. That looks hot. Top three buttons open at least. And then also do that eyeliner you use whenever we go out?” Was Lain just planning his outfit?

Runaan chuckled “I can dress myself just fine. I was more talking about conversation pointers you know?”

“But it’s so much fun!” Lain whined and he could clearly picture his best friend doing his customary puppy dog eyes. “But jokes aside, he’s an engineer right? Just ask him about his work and I’m sure he’ll do the talking.” That was actually a very good idea. Ethari liked to ramble on about whatever he was currently working on and while Runaan didn’t understand the majority of it, it was always nice to listen.

“Thank you, I’m not sure what I would ever do without you.” As long as he knew the other, Lain always had his back, no matter what. And truth be told it hadn’t always been easy. Especially not after he’d been discharged.

His best friend grinned, he could clearly hear it in his voice as he answered. “Overthink everything as per usual. If you need more help, I’ll be here for another five hours. And, Runaan?” he hummed “Everything’s gonna be alright.” Damn him for always knowing what exactly the bodyguard needed to hear.

“Yeah, yeah I know. Thanks man.” It was always good speaking to Lain even though some of the advice he gave was more than questionable. But then, he could always get a second opinion from Tiadrin should he need one.

“Anytime bro.”

Hanging up, Runaan realized he had about twenty minutes before he’d have to show up for dinner. _Better hurry_ , he thought. _If you’re not presentable by then Lain will materialize behind you and put a bullet in your kneecaps._ Okay clothes. Clothes first. That was an important part.

He was still dressed in the fluffy bathrobe and boxers which would probably also work if they weren’t leaving the suite but was entirely inappropriate for dinner. Despite having mocked Lain earlier, he still selected the clothes his best friend suggested, trusting the other knew what he was doing. Out of habit, Runaan also slung the shoulder holster around himself, taking comfort in the familiar weight of his twin desert eagles. Technically, he was still on the clock after all. Not that he was ever actually _off_ the clock. The main reason this job payed so well was that he had to be available 24/7. Even on his rare days off, the bodyguard always carried a pager in case he was needed. So far that luckily hadn’t happened but one could never be too careful in guarding the world’s best chance on highly efficient renewable energy sources.

His throwing knives slid easily into the well-used sheaths that clipped into his belt, completing his gear. Runaan decided to forego the extra ammunition clips tonight. It was highly unlikely someone would try anything when the whole hotel was swarming with security, police and press. Following Lains advice, the bodyguard fetched the black eyeliner and applied just a tad bit of dramatic swoop around his eyes. It did make his eyes pop wonderfully and he somehow liked how his gaze seemed to be even more intense with it on.

Lastly, Runaan slid the dog tags over his head, the familiar clink reminding him of times past that had been both better and worse. After leaving the crown’s service he’d struggled with seeing a purpose in life for some time, only finding comfort whenever he could fight. It was the familiarity of adrenaline and narrowed down focus that he’d craved and that had pulled him back to several fight rings until Lain had stepped into the ring one night and showed him Life wasn’t over just because one chapter of it had ended. He’d taken his first private security detail shortly after and finally found a reason for his being again. Runaan had never been particularly good at anything besides what he’d learnt in special forces and the secret service later on.

Now at least, he had someone he really wanted to protect. Would gladly lay his life down for. Ethari was hope. Not only for him but for many people out there. His work was important, he was important. So Runaan, too, felt like he was making a difference, if only a small one.

They’d offered him a desk job instead of being discharged, a good one at that. But he’d always known he’d die fighting someday. Runaan wasn’t made to sit behind a desk and sent other people off to battle, not when he could do it better himself. But after failing the psych exam four times in a row, they hadn’t given him a choice. Which was understandable. He was a hazard in the field, especially in the missions he’d been doing with the Squadron. At least here, he could get some of that back. Protecting Ethari made him feel alive again.

Checking his watch, Runaan realized the time was almost up. He looked himself in the eyes in the mirror and took a deep breath, checking over his appearance once more and tucking the dark purple dress shirt into his slacks. _You can do this. Just act normal._

When he opened the door to the main suite, his boss was already waiting on him, keycard in hand. Ethari looked up at the sound of the door closing behind him and his eyes widened for a few seconds before he hastily stood up and walked over. “Hi” he breathed once he reached Runaan, face only a few centimeters away, a slight blush on his cheeks.

“Hey” he echoed, not sure what to say. The other seemed to contemplate something for a moment before Ethari placed a quick pack on his lips and opened the door afterwards. “Shall we?” Was he just getting the door held open? That was a first.

“Yes” his voice was only a mere whisper as he followed the engineer out into the hallway and to the elevator.

“I have reserved us a table in the private section a bit away for the others. I hope that’s alright with ya?” Runaan nodded, mentally going over the exits in the restaurant area again. It would be relatively safe. He had people patrolling the perimeter after all.

“Of course.” Truth be told, he was relieved to be away from prying eyes. Especially the prying eyes of his security team. Professional integrity and all.

Their table was indeed in the very back of the restaurant, tucked behind a couple of paper walls and plants. He was glad that it was set like the other tables around them, with the single candle in the middle all of the other tables sported, too. Runaan had never been much of a romantic and overly cliché depictions of such always made him uneasy. Maybe it was because of how he was raised. Maybe because he never actually had been on a proper date before and all the romantic stuff he’d done in his life had been a cover.

“I hope this is okay. I would have preferred to take you somewhere less stuck up but-“ Ethari gestured around himself once they sat down and a waitress had delivered each of them a menu. “-I figured that might not be the best idea right now if I want you to be able to enjoy this.” That- that was very considerate. Runaan had half expected him to actually be sensible and care for his own safety for once but apparently that wasn’t in the engineer’s programming.

“I, uh, I appreciate that.” He really did. Because Ethari was right, he would have been incredibly high strung anywhere else. Not that he wasn’t right now.

“Do you prefer red or white wine?” usually, he wouldn’t have minded either. One stopped getting picky after a couple assignments in the middle of the desert or the coldest bits of Russia.

“Actually, I’d like to stick with water tonight.” He saw the surprised expression and immediately felt the need to justify himself. One usually didn’t refuse offered drinks in military circles. Not even if there was a mission the other day. “Tomorrow is going to be a log day and I’d feel better knowing I got my whole cognitive functions.” Which were already at risk every time Ethari was near. Damn that man was distracting.

“Oh okay sure. I think they also have really good alcohol-free cocktails?” the other recovered quickly, the ever-present soft smile back on his face.

“That, um that sounds good.” Runaan flipped through the menu to the drink section and settled on a virgin mojito when the waitress returned, surprised to see the engineer do the same. They looked through the meal options in silence and he used the opportunity to sort his thoughts a little. It would have been a lie if he’d claimed to be at ease. Runaan felt a little awkward as he narrowed his choices down to a manageable number. He wanted a salad but wasn’t sure if that wouldn’t seem overly pretentious. Maybe noodles? He definitely did not want a pizza. Maybe he could wait for Ethari to order and then decide based on that outcome? What _would_ he order? Maybe he could figure that out? Make an educated guess based on what he knew about the other’s eating habits?

“Runaan?” his eyes snapped up from the menu, and suddenly, he found two pairs of eyes regarding him curiously. The waitress. He’d somehow missed half of the ordering process already. _Oh no._

“S-salad? Tofu salad, please?” the bodyguard managed after a while, feeling a violent blush creep up on his face.

Ethari was still smiling but there was concerned glint in his eyes. “Are you alright?” he asked as soon as the waitress was gone.

“I- yeah. Sorry.” _Be yourself. Just relax._ Lain’s voice echoed through his head, providing an anchor. “I just thought a little too hard on what to order. Was afraid the salad might seem too pretentious.” The engineer just chuckled, raising his glass to clink it against Runaan’s.

“I ordered pizza with extra cheese and extra pepperoni, so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” He cracked a grin after, eyes twinkling over the rim of his sugar-coated glass.

Somehow, Ethari had the gift of being disarmingly honest. It was… nice. “What’s wrong with pepperoni?” now, it was the bodyguards turn to smirk as his- his date just shrugged with a smile. _Ah so that was exactly his point._

“I know ya don’t like to talk about yerself but I can’t help but be curious.” The engineer started, clearly having something in mind he wanted to ask. He really didn’t feel comfortable talking about personal matters but he also couldn’t say no to Ethari. And the man kind of deserved to know what he got himself into.

So Runaan smiled, bracing his elbows on the table in a way he hoped looked at least mildly attractive. “What do you want to know?” From the way the other’s eyes flicked down to his bare forearms before settling on his face again told him he’d at least been partially successful in that. Years of covert training did pay off after all it seemed.

“What did ya do before working in private security? Secret Service? Special forces?” Of course that’s what he was going to ask. The bodyguard had hinted at his prior occupation a couple of times and surely Ethari had seen the MI5 mug on his desk. And then there was the embassy badge he’d used on the free runners. Just then did Runaan realize he’d been uncharacteristically careless in the engineer’s presence. But maybe- maybe that was a good thing. Lain always said there was only one person you could truly be yourself with and once you found them, you should never let them go again.

“I started out in the military, special forces. Joined right after school.” Runaan jingled the dog tags around his neck, noting the way the others eyes tracked them back under his shirt. “They realized I had a certain talent for the job so I and a couple of other recruits were assembled in a special ops strike team. We did a lot of missions over the years. At some point, our program got cancelled due to a lack of funding and we were all sent off to different departments and military organizations of the crown. I got transferred from department to department constantly, going wherever I was needed until they decided we had been more effective as a team and put us back together. I got discharged three years back and have been working in private security ever since.” That was the short version. Also, the clean version. But he hoped it would do for now. Runaan really liked him but wasn’t ready to unearth his whole past just yet.

Ethari smiled, taking another sip of his drink. “That does sound a lot more adventurous than playing babysitter for rich people. Why switch?”

“I didn’t have much of a choice. It was either getting honorably discharged or a desk job and believe me I am really bad at paperwork.” It was meant as a joke but Runaan actually struggled with that. He despised every report he had to file for the police or the board whenever something happened. Had always hated doing mission reports and mostly bribed Lain into doing his with a good bottle of scotch or a couple donuts. 

Ethari raised his eyebrows at that, seemingly doubtful. “You? Bad at paperwork? That seems like something you’d excel at with all that structure you got going on. I don’t understand why they would put you on desk duty though. You seem more than healthy.” Ah yes, health. What a fickle thing.

“No, no seriously. I hate it. Always have. I used to bribe my comrades into doing mission reports for me.” Runaan smiled, trying to mentally brace himself for the next answer he was going to give. Or more Ethari’s reaction to it, really. _Be yourself. Just be yourself._

“And for the discharge, I failed my psych exam.” The other was still looking at him like before, if a little less playful and a bit more concerned. “Multiple times.”

“Oh, a see. ’m sorry to hear that. But- is it selfish of me to say I am a bit glad ya did? Because otherwise we wouldn’t have met.” He- he wasn’t afraid? Appalled? That- was that good?

“No- it, it’s alright. I think I was due for a change either way.” Even if he still missed the crown and all his service had entailed. Running security details just wasn’t the same as an actual mission.

“How long were you in service? If you don’t mind me asking.” Ever since he could. Runaan had enlisted as soon as they would’ve taken him, marching up there on his sixteenth birthday to put his name down. The barracks hadn’t been much different to the orphanage and at least he felt like he was finally good at something. His grades had been high enough to get him into the special forces program early, if only barely.

“Fifteen years and ten months.” It had felt like a lifetime. And it was. He'd spent almost half his life in service of the crown, only to be dropped the second he began to crack. Sometimes he wondered if his superiors had simply forgotten that he was also only human. They must have. Nobody in their right mind would expect someone to go through with what they sent him to do and carry on as if nothing had happened.

Ethari whistled at that, waiting until the waitress had set down their food before continuing. “That is a long time.” It was.

The bodyguard hummed in agreement, now glad he could use the arrival of their food as an opportunity to change topic. “Sure. What are you working on at the moment by the way? Must be valuable if people are out gunning for your pretty head again.” Satisfied at the blush on the other’s cheeks, Runaan busied himself with his food and listened to Ethari explain his newest experiments. He only understood about every third word but the way the engineer kept gesturing with his pizza slices was incredibly cute. And he was a fast learner. He’d get better at keeping up over time.

In the end Ethari managed to talk him into getting icecream for dessert, evidently delighted to find out Runaan’s favorite flavors were vanilla and lemon. It was nice to have someone be excited about learning things about him. That usually only ever happened in a bad way.

* * *

Back in their suite the engineer took a hesitant step forward, hand settling on Runaan’s waist in a careful yet possessive way. “Thank you for coming to dinner with me.” His eyes were soft and Ethari’s whole body radiated calm and contend. As if they’d went on numerous dates already and this was the most normal thing one could do. Well, for his boss it probably was.

Runaan swallowed, not entirely sure what would be expected or appropriate now. “I- yes, thank you for inviting me.” It _had_ been nice. More than nice actually. And he was already hoping they could do it again soon.

Ethari seemed to contemplate something before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on his lips. Immediately, the bodyguard found himself chasing the touch, kissing back eagerly. Soon, there was a hand in his hair, messing up the braids and another tugging his shirt out of the tac belt. “Do ya have anything else ta do today?” Ethari whispered in his ear in-between butterfly kisses along his neck.

“Just-“ Runaan detangled himself from the other, walking over to the windows to draw the curtains shut. “-one second.” Now successfully hidden from view, the bodyguard stalked back towards Ethari and crowded him against the wall. He reveled in the pleased sound the other made, hands now back to working on his dress shirt. Before Runaan knew it, his shirt was untucked and open, the engineer’s hands now roaming over exposed skin, sometimes halting to trace a more prominent scar. Was this really okay? He didn’t want him just wanting him because he'd saved the other’s life a couple of times.

“E-thari” he pushed the taller man back a bit, just enough to be able to look at him. “Are you sure- is this okay?” his answer was a rather feral grin and within a heartbeat, Ethari crowded him back against the wall. “Positive" It was all the permission he needed to sink his hands back in the messy hair and kiss back as if his life depended on it. And at this point he was sure it did.

Suddenly Runaan was hoisted up again, the ease with which the other picked him up sending a hot sensation through his whole body. Then, his back hit soft sheets and Ethari was on top of him, trailing kisses and soft bites from his hips up to his neck. Involuntary, he arched into the touch, grabbing the other’s hair, making sure he’d stay close.

Ethari tugged at the shoulder holster and in a split second, Runaan’s focus shifted. He flipped them, legs around the others neck in a choke hold and Securing the hand which hand tried for his guns with both hands. Standard training protocol.

Realizing what he’d just done, the bodyguard released his hold immediately, scrambling back on the bed and putting a good distance between them. “Oh fuck I'm sorry. Ethari- I- are you okay?” the other nodded, easy smile back on his face as he, too, sat up.

“'m good. Sorry shouldn’t have gone for yer guns without warning.” Then, he slowly moved closer again, hand reaching out to guide Runaan back down on the mattress. His heart was still racing but he forced himself to relax and follow the movement. The engineer didn’t freak out so it was good right? _Just relax. He won’t hurt you._

Once he was back to laying on his back, Ethari let his hand hover over the guns again. “May I?” despite every instinct in him screaming no, the bodyguard still nodded, biting his lip to keep from bolting again. His boss had other plans however as his lips were once again captured in a kiss, almost managing to smooth over the fact that he clearly felt the weight of his right handgun being moved. Ethari held it up, ejecting the clip and placed both on the nightstand, repeating the process with the other one. Something about the way he handled them without even looking was incredibly hot. Runaan allowed the removal of the now empty holster and shirt, easing back down against the soft silk sheets to marvel at the sight above him.

Ethari's pupils were blown wide, his hands moving eager but sure across his body, feeling every dip and crease as if he wanted to commit them to memory. He was also still fully dressed. That just wouldn’t do. Runaan let his hands travel up to the hem of the other’s shirt to tug at it urgently. His request was granted as the engineer stopped his exploration in favor of moving on to the buttons of his crisp white dress shirt.

Content to watch, Runaan braced both hands behind his head and tracked the movement of these strong hands. “Enjoying the view?” came the teasing quip from above him, pulling his eyes up to Ethari's face. He offered a wink in return, making a show of stretching out on the covers. “Always" it had the desired effect seeing that the hands fastened their pace considerably and low growl left Ethari’s lips that sounded at least a bit frustrated. As opposed to dates, he was good at this. Had more experience than people would probably deem proper. So Runaan felt entirely comfortable reaching out and hooking his fingers in the other’s belt loops, pulling him closer before getting rid of the belt entirely. By the time Ethari’s shirt was off, he’d also effectively dealt with the pants, pushing them down to the engineer’s knees. Before he could do anything else however, a set if strong hands pinned his arms over his head, leaving Runaan no choice but to wait. “Impatient" Ethari scolded lightly, shifting his grip so he could pin both wrists with one arm. _Damn._

Sure, he could probably break out of the hold easily but it didn’t _feel_ that way. Runaan could feel him struggling with the bodyguard’s belt buckle one handed and chuckled, biting in the biceps next to his face. “You know I also have handcuffs right?” Ethari stopped, narrowing his eyes.

“Ya sure?” he knew about five ways to get out of them so yes, he was sure. Runaan nodded with a grin, lifting his hips a bit. “Right back pocket"

The familiar click of the cuffs snapping shut sent a wave of adrenaline through his body and he bit his lip to muffle the groan that threatened to erupt as Ethari got to work on his belt again. Runaan was suddenly very glad they were the only ones with keycards. The last thing he needed was someone from his security team accidentally opening the door. But they couldn’t, so Runaan allowed himself to fully relax into the touch and let go.

It turned hazy after that, his mind too occupied with Ethari to keep track of his surroundings he might as well have been floating through space at this point.

* * *

Runaan didn’t remember falling asleep but when he opened his eyes again, it was half past six in the morning and a heavy arm was draped over his midsection. He felt warm and fuzzy and still slightly sleep drunk so he switched his alarm to seven instead of the quarter to pre-set and turned around, snuggling back into Ethari's chest. This was nice. The engineer let out a satisfied grumble and immediately pulled him in closer, resting his chin atop Runaan's head. “Mhmm"

He let himself enjoy the warmth for half an hour before he gently tried to worm his wait out of the surprisingly solid embrace. “Ethari" he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the other's cheek. “I need to get up. And you need to get ready, too.” Runaan got a grumble in reply but the arms lifted, letting him slip away. The hotel room was surprisingly cold in comparison to the cocoon of softness he'd just escaped and the bodyguard had to physically stop himself from climbing back under the covers.

He collected his discarded clothes from where they were strewn across the room and unlocked his handcuffs from the bedpost before reloading and pocketing both his guns. He was still only in his underwear but had the shoulder holster slung back around his shoulders in favor of less things to carry over to his room. Ethari cracked one eye open at the sound of him reloading the handguns but closed them again once he'd seen Runaan, soft smile on his face as he buried deeper under the covers. Goddamn it.

The bodyguard checked his phone over for missed messages and saw a single question mark from Lain. _All good._ He typed back. _I think this one's a keeper._ It was customary for his best friend to check in after, making sure Runaan was alright. After a couple not so great experiences during undercover missions, it just seemed like the logical thing to do.

The bodyguard did a few stretches, feeling more than a little sore, before stepping into the shower. His hair looked like something exploded in it. Besides, a hot shower would probably do wonders for his comfortably sore limbs. He could get used to this, Runaan thought while scrubbing conditioner through his hair. Maybe he should try that relationship thing after all.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: mild PTSD and trauma flashbacks (it's more hurt comfort really but yk just making sure)

Against all predictions, the day at the conference went off without a hitch. Runaan had even successfully talked his boss into wearing a vest, feeling _slightly_ more at ease now that he wasn’t the only thing between Ethari and a bullet to the heart anymore.

Originally, they'd planned on staying a few days longer but the board had commandeered them back to Britain for safety reasons. Runaan for one was glad to be home soon. But first he’d have to step back on that godforsaken plane. _No embarrassment this time. Keep it professional._ He told himself as he once again checked over the plane before giving his boss the clear.

The bodyguard was glad they were at least taking a private plane. Less people to worry about if the only ones on it were his team, a handful of staff members, Janai and Ethari. Still, he couldn’t help but feel uneasy as memories from over three years ago bubbled up again. God he hated planes.

The first two hours of their trip went off without a hitch and he was just about to relax when the board speakers crackled above their heads. “Sorry folks, looks like we’re approaching a storm. Make sure to stay in your seats and store your drinks and laptops.” _Great. Just great._

Runaan had half the mind to just down half a couple sleep meds to not have to go through another series of turbulence again but then, they probably wouldn’t work on him either way. Tolerance and all. Besides, he was technically still supposed to protect Ethari.

So instead, he just mentally braced himself and tried to focus on whatever his boss was currently rambling on about. Something regarding solar panels and water recycling if he understood correctly. The bodyguard tracked Ethari’s hands, trying to remember the way they had held him tight the night before. Made him feel safe.

The engineer noticed a slight shift in Runaan as soon as the pilot announced there would be more turbulences. Still, he continued his monologue, sensing how his bodyguard was concentrating all his focus on him. _Maybe I can distract him a bit. He does seem to have a hard time with planes. I wonder if that has anything to do with his discharge?_

Then, the turbulences started and Ethari had to bite back a wince at the way the other’s eyes widened and he sunk his fingernails into the armrests, hands trembling ever so slightly. “Runaan?” he tried, keeping his voice calm and even. “Are you alright?”

The answer he got was pained grunt that edged dangerously close to a whine. And not in a good way. “Runaan? Hun?” for a second, it seemed like it was working and his bodyguard focused back on him instead of the void he’d been staring at but then, the shakes intensified, nearly throwing him out of his seat in the process. Runaan’s eyes glazed over and he curled in on himself, muttering names and numbers while drawing his legs up to hide his head between them. _That’s not good. Maybe I can calm him down? Can I touch him? Or would that only make it worse?_ Ethari wasn’t sure what to do, clearly the other had some sort of panic attack. He tried to recall the medical training he’d done in college but wasn’t certain that would be the right approach. _Maybe- maybe if I can get him back-_

Carefully, the engineer got up from his seat, slowly moving over to Runaan as to not startle him. Additionally, the plane was still shaking violently around him, making it hard to get over to the seats opposite of him without falling. “Sweets?” to his surprise, the other didn’t react upon being touched. He’d at least expected a twitch or some sort of fighting instinct like back when he’d reached for the guns without warning. _Not good._

By now, Runaan had fully tucked himself into a ball, arms braced above his head as if he was trying to shield himself from falling debris and was scooting as far back in his seat as he could. Something in Ethari’s heart twinged at the sight of his usually so collected bodyguard having a complete meltdown. “Hey-" he started, gently pulling the other’s arms away to get a look at his face. A pair of unseeing turquoise eyes snapped up at him, wide and panicked. His breath was going fast and even from the distance, Ethari could hear his heart hammering in his chest. “Runaan? Hun it's me. Please wake up. Everything is alright.” The other’s sight wavered for a second, an uncanny clarity flashing over them before they glazed back over.

“E-ethari?” he asked, clearly confused. “Wha- what are you doing here?”

The engineer released a deep breath, glad he was at least able to recognize him still. “Yes. It’s me. We're safe. Everything is alright, this is just a storm.” But Runaan shook his head, clearly seeing something different than him “No- no. Ethari. You need to go.” _Oh no,_ he wouldn’t go anywhere.

“Whatever yer seein’. It isn’t real. You are on a plane with me. We’re passing a storm. Everything’s alright. Focus on my voice.” Slowly, Runaan nodded, unfurling from his position but his eyes still flitted across the space as if he was seeing something, someone, else. “O-okay.” The he shook his head again, as if trying to get rid of something. “No- this, this is not real. You can’t be here. It’s not real. You’re not real.”

Alarmed at that reaction, Ethari held up both hands, trying to stop him from drawing back again. “Runaan wait! I'm here. 'm real. I can prove it.” That at least got him something akin to interest. “Can I touch ya?” a pause. Then, a small nod.

He reached out slowly, careful to always have both his hands in Runaan’s direct line of sight. The other jerked back a bit before looking at the hand on his upper arm in wonder. “See? ‘m real.”

“Ethari?” voice rough, the bodyguard stared at him as if he’d hung the stars.

He allowed himself a small chuckle, reaching out to grasp both of Runaan's hands in his. “Yes dear, I'm right here. Everything’s fine. Trust me.” Another rumple shook the plane around them, making the other flinch. “Come ‘ere.” Ethari prompted, settling in the seat beside him and patted his lap.

At first, it seemed like Runaan would stay curled in his own seat but then, he climbed over the armrest and settled in the engineer’s arms, tucking his head in the crook between his neck and shoulder. His breath was still going fast and Ethari could feel small tremors rocking the other’s body. “Shhh. 's all good. Promise.” He settled his arms around Runaan, easing the shoes off before getting to work at his bodyguard’s silk tie. It would surely be more comfortable that way.

Rubbing slow circles over the other’s back, Ethari kept him close to his chest, feeling a sudden rage towards whoever had caused this. Whoever dared to hurt Runaan so much even a man as strong as his bodyguard couldn’t fight it. “Don’t worry-" he whispered in the other’s ear, placing a soft kiss on his hair. “-I'll keep ya safe.”

One moment, he was listening to Ethari rambling and the next, his surroundings changed, turning the private jet into the all too familiar interior of a C-17 Globemaster III. Next to him were the members of the special ops team he was supposed to lead, all ready and suited up to jump once they reached the drop site. He knew this scene, knew exactly what happened next. And still, Runaan couldn’t help but jerk when the explosion hit, pulling away the back of their plane. Right where he’d been standing for a last-minute brief. He was sucked out into the night sky, watching helplessly as the transport exploded in front of his eyes, the surprised screams of his squad echoing through the night. Then, time stopped, rewound and placed him back in the cargo hold. This time on a different spot so he could see himself getting sucked out of the plane before they were engulfed in fire, pain and shrapnel. The scar on his lower torso began to burn again, reminding him that this was real.

Back then, he’d ejected his parachute once the survival instincts finally kicked in and landed close to the crash site. Had sorted through the wreckage for his soldier’s dog tags to bring them back home. They hadn’t been far from the drop site so Runaan had gathered whatever weaponry was still usable and set out to finish the mission.

He was kneeling in midst of the wreckage when a familiar voice suddenly appeared. “-naan?” was that- no that couldn’t be.

But a second later, the voice reappeared, making him frantically search his surroundings for its source. “E-ethari?” no. No. He shouldn’t be here. “Wha- what are you doing here?” surely it was only his imagination.

The voice- Ethari’s voice, continued to speak, assuring him everything was alright. But how could it? How could it possibly alright? Desperately did he try to get his boss to leave. This wasn’t right. He shouldn’t be there. “Whatever yer seein’. It isn’t real. You are on a plane with me. We’re passing a storm. Everything’s alright. Focus on my voice.”

And he did. Against all better judgement, Runaan latched onto that tiny sliver of hope until Ethari suddenly materialized in front of him, soft golden eyes looking at him with that concerned furrow in his dark brows. _No. No this wasn’t real. Ethari couldn’t be here. It wasn’t possible. He- he should be somewhere safe_. The ghosts of his fallen squad members hovered in the air around him, silently screaming at him for letting them die. “No- this, this is not real. You can’t be here. It’s not real. You’re not real.”

It was all in his head. Ethari wasn’t there.

But his dream-Ethari reached out with an encouraging smile. “I can prove it.” And then, a warm hand settled on his arm, pulling him back out of the wreckage and into the private jet he now remembered to have been in.

Runaan blinked a couple of times, just in case he was actually dreaming, before he bit back a sob. “Ethari?”

His boss smiled, settling on the seat next to him and motioned for his lap. “Come ‘ere.” _Was- was that okay? Probably not, right?_

But images were still flitting through his head, threatening to pull him back out of reality and in his memories as the plane was shaking around them. _No no no. Not again. I don’t want to go back there_. He thought, finally giving in and climbed in Ethari’s lap, hiding his face from the world around them and did his best to pretend he wasn’t there. Runaan tried to imagine the woods around his hometown he used to play in and focused every shred of concentration on Ethari’s heartbeat, loud and steady. _He's okay. I'm okay. It's just a storm._ He repeated in his head over and over again, desperately trying to get his erratic breathing under control.

There, embraced by the engineer’s strong arms and listening to his heartbeat did Runaan finally mange to ban the last remnants of his demons back in the prison they belonged. “I'll keep ya safe.” And in this moment, he believed it. Wanted to believe it. With everything he had.

Eventually, the turbulences stopped but neither made a move to leave their position so Runaan kept his head tucked in the crook of the other’s neck and enjoyed the way Ethari’s hands kept tracing patterns across his back.

He didn’t register drifting off to sleep but at some point the emotional exhaustion must have won since the next thing he remembered was waking up in the exact same position, still curled tightly around the engineer when that same engineer was kissing his forehead repeatedly. “Hrmpf" Runaan didn’t feel like talking but he still wanted to show that he was awake.

“Hey there.” Ethari smiled at him fondly placing one last smooch on his nose.

“Hey-“ he rasped in response, struggling to sit up a little bit straighter. Damn his back hurt. “-how long…” the bodyguard trailed off with a yawn, vaguely gesturing around himself with the hand not currently occupied in holding him an acceptable distance away from his boss' chest.

Ethari checked his watch before doing that top right corner look he always did when calculating. “Uh maybe four or five hours? We still got a bit to go.”

_Five hours?! That's more than I consecutively sleep most nights._

“Oh" he echoed rather ungracefully, only now realizing he was still on the other’s lap. “How did I-" and then, his memories came floating back in, almost prompting him to jump up from his seat. “Oh shit I-" Runaan shifted back, barley avoiding to fall on the floor and just narrowly managing to sit down on the table instead. “-sorry. I- um. It's- fuck. I'm sorry you had to see that. I'll-" _Yeah what exactly are you going to do now huh? It's not like you can pretend this was a one-time thing. Better get those resignation papers ready._

But Ethari still held the same soft expression, looking at him in pure adoration. “Shhh it’s alright. Are you feeling better now?” he reached out to grab Runaan’s hand in his, rubbing circles in his palm. The motion was surprisingly soothing. _Wait- he's- he’s concerned for me?_

“I- yes. Yes, thank you.” That earned him a genuine full teeth smile.

“Great. Now could yer help me to stand up? I think both ma legs just fell asleep.” Despite himself, Runaan released a relieved chuckle, holding out both hands for the other to grab.

“Is that your way of telling me I should go on a diet?” he joked, aiming for light banter.

Ethari just snorted, stumbling forward and promptly settled both hands on the bodyguard’s waist. “Please. I think I could bench press ya one-armed.” Runaan swallowed. _Oh shit._

“I'm sure you could.” He managed once his brain stopped imagining that exact scenario. “How're the legs?”

Ethari waggled his eyebrows once and tried to take another step forward in order to crowd him against the table only to hiss immediately in displeasure. “Ohgodfuckindamnit” Runaan had to grin at the other biting his lip violently to keep other curses from slipping out. “It prickles so badly. Ya can’t even imagine.”

He could imagine. The perks of recon missions: sitting in the same tree for twelve hours straight. But maybe- maybe he could repay Ethari for earlier. “Mmhm-" he hummed, moving in closer before dropping to his knees. “-I think I can help with that.” Runaan let his hands wander up and down the engineer’s right leg, dragging paths into the soft dark blue slacks with his fingertips. It elicited the desired effect as Ethari’s pupils expanded to an impossible degree, eyes fixed on him and hands reaching for his hair. “Hhnnnng Runaan-" the other bit his lip, trying to muffle any more noises. _Oh. I'll make you scream. Just maybe not now._ Runaan knew for a fact that he was _very_ good at this. Good enough to steal a guy’s wallet, gun, keycard and ankle holster in the process.

With a decisive push, he forced Ethari back in the leather seat, hands moving to the belt he could see the engineer already shifting against. But when his fingers latched into the buckle to open it, Runaan’s wrists got captured in a strong grip. “Are ya sure? Here?” the way Ethari sounded all hot a bothered, eyes still glazed over with want did things to him so the bodyguard nodded, hands back to kneading strong thighs.

“I can be quiet.” He grinned, licking his lips. “Can you?”

“Hhnnnng Runaan, ya can’t just say that ‘n look at me like ‘is while we’re in the compartment next ta Janai.” His accent thickened just like every time the engineer was either drunk or otherwise intoxicated. As if on cue, the door to their compartment was opened, a decisive click sounding through the room like thunder.

Ethari was still seeing double when the stewardess appeared next to him, carrying two trays with food, busy folding his hands over his lap to- well…

Next to him, Runaan was lounging in his own seat, looking perfectly relaxed and in order as if he hadn’t just napped five hours on his lap, had a panic attack and did _that. Bastard._ Even his hair was back in order somehow.

“How do ya do that?” he asked as soon as they were alone again.

His bodyguard simply shrugged, already lifting the aluminum foil from his tray. “Training.” _Of course. What else._

“Hmm” he could hear him hum next to him as soon as the food was completely unwrapped. Ethari himself was still too paralyzed to move. “Not the food I was looking forward to.” Runaan commented at the mix of fried vegetables and potatoes as if he was discussing the weather.

Not quite able to help himself, the engineer let out a strangled sound, finally also reaching for his food. _Goddamnit._

“Sorry-" Runaan shot him a wink. “-I'll make it up to you later.”

They passed the rest of the flight playing poker which Ethari found to be incredibly hard to win even though he was sure he had a better grasp on which cards were still in the game. But his bodyguard just had that perfect pokerface he couldn’t read no matter how hard he tried to catch him off guard. What did one even learn in the special forces? Apparently playing cards, being incredibly seductive (he hadn’t quite recovered yet) and looking like a goddamn guarding angel ninety nine percent of the time.

“Out of pure interest-“ Ethari started, once they were finally, _finally_ , back home on his private estate. “-what did they teach ya in that top-secret military program of yours?”

Runaan only raised an eyebrow, dropping his luggage next to the couch and went to pour drinks. “I could make a list? But I am not sure if I’d have to redact some of that. But if you’re interested, I can ask my former handler to send my file over. I’m just afraid it’s mostly blacked out.” _I know that already,_ Ethari thought. He’d procured that file in his search for more information only to realize it was just a sixty-five-page long essay consisting of black lines and the occasional “the”.

“No, no I just meant ya know how to do a lot of things. Like playing poker? Is there even something you’re not good at?” He was almost certain there wasn’t. The other seemed far too perfect and competent in everything he did.

Runaan laughed, handing over what seemed to be whisky on the rocks and dropped into one of the armchairs with a sigh. “There are _a lot_ of things I am absolutely terrible at.” He smiled, seemingly not in the slightest unnerved by that. Interesting, he’d always taken the bodyguard for a perfectionist in _all_ aspects of his life. But maybe that was just what he wanted other people to think.

“Yeah? Name one.” Ethari, too, flopped down on soft sofa cushions lacking the grace of his employee.

“Hm-“ while the other pretended to think, because he was entirely sure it was just that; pretense, he took a sip from his drink, rejoicing in the cold burn after that day. Or after these last hours, since it was still barley five. _Fuck timezones,_ he thought.

“-I can’t cook. I’m terrible at doing laundry. According to my best friend I am very bad at telling jokes. I’m a slow reader and apparently also very inept at romance.” Was the list he got presented with before Runaan emptied most of his drink in one go. “I could name more but I think it’s more fun if you find out by yourself.”

“Aw no yer not inept at romance. Our date was lovely!” his bodyguard sent him a withering stare that turned defeated in a matter of seconds. “I almost missed the waitress because I was too busy psychoanalyzing the menu.”

Well, he supposed that wasn’t entirely wrong. Still, Ethari had enjoyed it. “That’s not a bad thing! It shows ya care and- wait. Did ya say you couldn’t cook?” a nod. “Yer a- I don’t even know how old you are- and you cannot cook? How did you survive? No wonder you’re so thin!”

That prompted a glare during which the rest of Runaan’s drink vanished. “I _theoretically_ know how to do it. I’m just incredibly bad at it. And I’m not thin.” Especially that last part seemed to unnerve him greatly. Huh. Maybe a touchy topic?

“Nonsense, everyone can cook. I’m gonna teach ya.” He got a soft huff in response but no arguing. That was a win, wasn’t it?

“Thirty-four.”

“What?”

“My age.” Runaan set his glass down and began to work at the tie around his neck. “I’m thirty-four.” That- that was younger than he’d thought. For some reason, Ethari had always thought the other was older than him. And not two years younger. _At least it’s not more than that._ His mind supplied, providing the brief feeling of shock had his bodyguard turned out to be in his twenties.

“So that’s thirty-four years without self-made food we’re gonna fix that.”

Despite minimal arguing, Ethari managed to get his bodyguard into the kitchen and seated on the counter while he surveyed the contents of his fridge and cupboards. And if he’d bribed him with another glass of whisky, that was totally fair game, right? “Okay-“ the engineer began to set out ingredients and bowls. “-let’s make noodles with pesto sauce that’s easy and fast and I am almost certain you can’t jinx that even if you tried.” The raised eyebrow he got in response somehow indicated a lot of burnt kitchens. Well, he was there too and Ethari would call himself a pretty decent cook. Being a broke student had it’s perks. He could produce edible food out of virtually anything if he tried hard enough. That definitely deserved a mention on his Wikipedia Page.

“So first I want you to get some basil from the balcony. Two handfuls should be enough.”

Runaan looked at him as if he’d just proposed stealing the moon in a hot air balloon with a pair of tweezers but accepted the pair of scissors and vanished outside. Only to return a few minutes later with what Ethari could only describe as _exactly_ two handfuls of basil leaves. “How long did ya measure that?” A shrug, then his bodyguard held out his hands with a questioning glance.

“Alright. Wash these. The salad spinner is in the bottom right drawer.” Runaan did as prompted, taking utmost care in washing and drying the basil. Almost as if he was afraid to break them should he stray from the exact turning speed he used on the spinner.

“Perfect. I guess chopping up things will be easy for you?” that earned him a slight chuckle as his bodyguard went over to the kitchen knife rack and pulled out a couple before settling on one. “I think I’ll manage.”

Placing a few pieces of garlic and some parmesan cheese on the cutting board, Ethari made a grand gesture towards the offerings. “Show me what you’ve got then. They don’t need to be small or even, we’re still going ta put them in the blender later.” He watched with amusement as the other still chopped the cheese in precise little cubes and turned the garlic in such small pieces they wouldn’t even have needed the blender anymore. “Now everything into the blender and then we’re going to roast some pine nuts.” Once he’d handed the spatula and thereby the responsibility over to Runaan, the engineer went to refill both their glasses and watched as his bodyguard finished roasting the pine nuts before interfering again. Together, they cooked some spaghetti and carried their creation back over to the living room where Runaan hummed in appreciation as soon as he took the first bite. “See?” he had to smile, twisting a few noodles on his own fork. “It isn’t that hard.”

“Everything’s easy when you got directions." Ethari shrugged, gesturing over to the little shelf with cooking books in his kitchen area.

“That’s why ya buy recipes So yer got directions.”

Runaan was too engrossed in their home cooked meal to do anything besides nodding so he rested his case and also shifted his attention towards the food.

After dinner, Ethari flicked through the TV channels, originally planning on finding some movie to watch but then got stuck at a documentary about field mice. They looked adorable with their tiny paws and ears and even his bodyguard was suddenly very interested in the TV. At some point, Runaan shuffled a bit closer on the couch and even accepted the arm he settled around the other’s shoulders.

Only to promptly fall asleep.

It _had_ been a very long day. Especially for Runaan, so the engineer did his very best to be quiet and tuned down the TV to a soft ambient noise. Carefully, he reclined a bit so that his sleeping bodyguard was now halfway draped on his chest. He murmured something and Ethari almost thought he’d woken him but then the other’s hand just fisted in his hoodie a bit more securely and Runaan buried his face in the soft fabric with a sigh.

 _Oh god this is adorable._ Ethari thought, having half a mind of taking a picture just so he’d be able to see that soft look on his face forever.

Then, the first few notes of Thunderstruck echoed through the empty living room and he barley stopped himself from jumping. _Goddmanit what was that noise._ Ethari located the buzzing phone in record time and for the lack of anything better to do, accepted the call just to keep the noise from waking the man who was currently using him for a pillow.

“Uh hi?” he whispered, keeping his voice as low as possible.

“Who is that?” came a male voice from the other end that sounded like whoever it was wasn’t happy to hear him answer. There was a certain steel in that tone that immediately prompted Ethari to answer. 

“Uh ma name’s Ethari and-"

“ _You're Ethari?_ ” It sounded confused but then, the steel returned. “Where’s Runaan?” he could hear alarm shining through. Maybe this was one of his old army friends?

“Asleep? I only picked up so it wouldn’t wake him.” A pause, then some rustling.

“Prove it.”

The engineer was just about to propose something when it occurred to him that this was _not_ a normal conversation to have. “I will but who are _you_?”

A short pause, then a sigh. “Name’s Lain I'm a friend of Runaan’s. Now-” he could faintly hear keyboard clicking in the background. “Prove to me that he’s alright or I'll have a Strike Team at your house in ten minutes.” Somehow, Ethari didn’t doubt that for a second.

“Alright, jesus relax. If you give me your number I can send you a picture from my own phone.”

“Oh god Tia's going to kill me. But I really do want to see this so-" the man, Lain muttered and started to rattle down a mobile phone number that he barley managed to safe in time.

“Okay just give me one sec-" Ethari set the phone down, searching for a good angle and gave the camera a thumbs up. “-there ya go.”

There was a soft chuckle and then silence from the other end. “Promise you didn’t drug him?” he didn’t what?!

“Uh we each had maybe three glasses of whisky if that counts?” what kind of friend was this anyways.

“Nah-" Lain snorted “-that’s basically nothing.” Well, he wouldn’t put it like _that_ but then the engineer had witnessed Runaan down seven of these and still ace billiard so maybe the cryptic friend was right.

“Anything I can tell him once he’s awake?” preferably in the morning if Ethari did manage to carry him to bed without waking him.

“Tell him he’s supposed to check in and that he should haul his ass to visit soon.” Check in? What was that supposed to mean?

“I can enforce a mandatory day off if that would help.” That at least got him a full-hearted laugh from the other end.

“I appreciate the sentiment but I think that’ll just send the wrong message. Is he still asleep?” Ethari carefully looked down where his bodyguard was still breathing softly against his chest, fingers occasionally curling deeper in the fabric of his hoodie. Runaan seemed to be very much asleep and intending to stay that way.

“Yeah. Still drooling on ma hoodie.” He couldn’t quite keep the soft intonation from his voice as the sight was just too cute. Especially compared to how the other usually looked like. All sharp edges and control.

“Damn he must really trust you. If you want to move him somewhere later without waking him, try talking.” Was he just getting tips on how to carry his bodyguard slash maybe-kinda boyfriend to bed from a complete stranger via telephone? Before Ethari could answer though, the other spoke up again. “Actually, no. Don’t do that. Just wake him up.”

“Uh okay? Any specific reason why?” The engineer decided that this friend was definitely weird. On the one hand, Lain seemed to be overly suspicious of him and very protective of Runaan but then, he just casually dropped these remarks. Now he kind of wanted to meet this guy in person. Just to get a face to the weirdness.

“Let’s just say waking up in a place he didn’t fall asleep in would probably be unsettling for someone with our training.” Ah, so an army buddy after all. And from the sounds of it a still active one. Interesting.

“Makes sense. So no carrying bridal style.” A short laugh sounded from the other end before Lain echoed “No carrying bridal style.”

A short silence followed which Ethari used to shift his free arm a bit so he could rub circles into Runaan’s back. The dress shirt was silky and warm, immediately prompting him to dig his fingers in a bit deeper. There was a soft hum in response as his bodyguard cuddled closer.

“Soooo-“ the ominous friend started. “-are you guys like, a thing now?” Were they? Ethari wasn’t sure. They hadn’t really talked about that. There also hadn’t been much time to talk in the last forty-eight hours.

“I-" he searched for the right words. "I'm not sure to be honest? We didn’t talk about that yet. I'd really like it ta be a thing but if he doesn’t want that I’ll respect his wishes. He-" Ethari lowered his voice a bit more, making sure that his bodyguard was still fast asleep. “-he doesn’t seem to be that interested in a relationship but then I think he might be warming up to the idea?” Why was he trying to get relationship advice from a stranger he hadn’t met ever before via his bodyguard’s private phone? _Because you are that desperate and if Lain is a close friend, he might have tips._

“Ah yes. That has been…” the other made what seemed to be a clicking sound with his tongue and continued “-a thing. You know what? Ethari you seem like a nice fellow and Runaan’s been telling me that you’re cool so I'm going to help you with this. There is just one thing-" Ethari waited, letting a few seconds of silence pass before asking “Yes?”

“If you, in any way, hurt Runaan, I will come and kill you. Personally. Provided my wife doesn’t beat me to it.” _Okay. That wasn’t creepy at all._

“I would never hurt him. I am constantly afraid he’ll get shot on my behalf.” _Because he already got shot on your behalf. Multiple times._

“Getting shot at is kinda his thing. I meant emotionally. If you break his heart, I will rip yours out. Literally.” _Alright then._ Maybe he didn’t want to meat Lain after all.

“Duly noted.”

“Splendid!” the other’s vice shifted back from threatening to chipper. “Okay now since he literally fell asleep right on top of you I think we can skip the part where I tell you how you establish trust. Out of pure interest: where are the guns at the moment?” Ethari did a quick sweep of the living room, locating the two black desert eagles.

“Uh, coffee table?”

“Oh wow and the wives?” the _what?_

“Wives?” the engineer wasn’t quite following. Did he misinterpret something about Runaan’s sexuality?

“Ah sorry. The knives? We used to call them that since he never let them out of his sight.” Lain chuckled, apparently reminiscing their army days.

“One currently digging into ma side since it’s still in his belt sheath and the other-" Did Runaan use that earlier? “-might be in the kitchen.”

“That-" the other started, seemingly impressed. “-wow that is some progress you’ve been making.” _Was it?_ At this point Ethari would’ve believed everything. “So anything you’d like to know that I may or may not be able to answer?”

He had about a million questions but most of them he wanted to ask Runaan himself. “Are you one of the special forces friends?” The engineer had to admit he was about as curious about his mysterious caller than he was about Runaan.

“I am _the_ special forces friend. We met in basic training. I would die for him.” _Okaaaay._ Were all the military people this intense? Ethari had only ever worked with a couple Generals for several projects but had tried to keep his distance otherwise. Weapons weren’t his thing.

“Alright great. I do have a question though. What- uh what do I do in case of a panic attack?” Lain fell dead silent, not even breathing could be heard over the phone.

“If you have one or-” he trailed off, sounding cautious again.

“No, ’m good. I was talking about Runaan. I- I just wanna be able ta help? In case it happens again.” Ethari really hoped this _was_ a good friend. Otherwise this could backfire so badly.

“Again? When did it happen? I swear to Queen and Country if that bloody bastard-” now, Lain sounded outright pissed. _Oh dear._

“Today?” Ethari was quick to interrupt. “On the plane. We had some turbulences and then he was suddenly somewhere else.”

“I see. You can call me the next time it happens and you don’t know what to do. But in general, it tends to help to get his attention. Doesn’t matter how but then his brain will puzzle out that something with the episode is wrong and therefore not real. If nothing helps just make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone, or himself, and it will take maybe twenty minutes until it’s over.”

“Okay, thank you, I’ll remember that.” At least he’d instinctively done the right thing. And it had seemed to help. Still, the memory of today tugged forcefully at Ethari’s heartstrings. Who had hurt him in so much he got flashbacks from it?

“Can you wake him? I actually really planned on talking to him.” He didn’t want to since Runaan was still cuddled close to his chest but Lain’s tone suggested that it was either important or the bodyguard was about to get a lecture of some sort.

“Yeah, sure.” Carefully, Ethari brushed a few strands out of the other’s face and poked his shoulder. “Runaan, sweets, wake up. There’s someone on the phone for you.” at first, it seemed as if his bodyguard was adamant on staying asleep but as soon as he cracked one eye open, Runaan was practically up and awake.

“What-” he started, staring first at Ethari and then his phone.

“You fell asleep, one of your friends called. Here-” the engineer handed the phone over and watched as Runaan’s face turned from confused over realization to mildly guilty. Really one of the most explicit displays of emotion he’d seen so far from his bodyguard. Including that time they fooled around in the spa area.

“Lain- no- Lain can you- yes, I know I- Lain would you-” he heard him try while Runaan stood up from his place on the couch to pace through the living room, picking up his discarded glass in the process to go for a refill. After a couple of seconds, he gave up and just listened, occasionally nodding along or giving short sounds of agreement. Ethari couldn’t quite understand what the mysterious friend was saying but from the way snippets of his voice carried over, he was busy berating his bodyguard for something.

“check in…. you know…. important…. making sure…. promised… idiot…” at some point, he’d stopped trying to puzzle out the other side of the conversation and instead focused on Runaan who was still pacing, taking a sip from his tumbler every few steps.

“Yes Lain- look I’m sorry. I promise to text you next time okay? How do-” Runaan’s eyes flicked over to him, fixing Ethari with a rather piercing glare before he continued his pacing. “I _was_ going to call. We just made food and- no, the kitchen is not on fire. Yes, I helped why would you even- can we talk tomorrow? Yes, I’m coming over next week for Rayla’s game. Yeah, yeah I promise. Okay thanks for checking in man, see ya.” with that, he closed the call and pocketed his phone, walking over to flop down on the sofa again.

“Alright, how many times did he threaten to kill you?” Runaan sounded tired but there was that distinct little smirk pulling at his lips that betrayed the fake annoyance he’d put up.

“Twice? I think.” that got him a pair of raised eyebrows as his bodyguard tipped back the remnants of his drink.

“Huh he likes you. Go figure. Anyways sorry about that. Lain’s a bit overprotective.” A slight blush appeared on the other’s cheeks and Ethari would most certainly bet he was embarrassed. If by falling asleep or his friend threatening to come over and rid the engineer’s body of his heart, he couldn’t tell.

“S all good. Sorry for waking ya. He asked me to.” as if on cue, Runaan yawned, stretching both arms above his head in a way that showed just the tiniest sliver of porcelain skin. _Oh dear._

“That’s fine. I, uh, I should go to bed either way probably. Thank you for showing me how to make pesto and, um, for earlier, too.” Ethari was a second away from asking him to stay a bit longer and maybe even get him to sleep in his bed so he’d be able to hold the bodyguard in his arms again but understood the other’s need for solitude just too well. If Runaan wanted to stay he’d sure say so right? Maybe some space would be good after the last two days. after all, this was still new for the both of them and his bodyguard didn’t seem like the relationship person. Maybe he’d have to ease into that. If he even wanted it.

“I was happy to. See you tomorrow then.” Runaan nodded, gathering the suit jacket, guns and tie he’d shed earlier and vanished towards his guest apartment.

Ethari watched him go, thinking about what he’d talked about with Lain and worrying what kind of ghosts seemed to plague the other. _He will tell you when he’s ready. for now, be happy that he’s still here after the stunt you pulled._ He still wasn’t sure what crazy spirit had possessed him to corner a man he knew to be able to snap his neck in a heartbeat into a hotel spa shower for a make out session. But he’d lived. And _how_ he’d lived. God damn it that man would be the death of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always Lain is the best bro  
> Also if I happen to portray something wrong due to lack of knowledge, please let me know I am never trying to be disrespectful thank you!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runaan and Ethari finally talk. Lain terrorizes them via phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please mind the warnings everyone!

Runaan was now faced with a dilemma; on the one hand, he really liked Ethari. More than he'd ever liked anyone. On the other, the bodyguard wasn't keen on breaking his personal rules. He had them for a reason. The distance kept him, and by extend his charges, safe. And especially in his line of work, that was rather important.

But then, he remembered the way Ethari held him after his panic attack. The engineer had been so accepting without even knowing what exactly was going on. _You'll never find_ _someone_ _like_ _that_ _again_ , a small voice in his head whispered while he still tried to convince himself this was a bad idea. Runaan knew what happened to operatives who got attached, had seen it first hand, and still, his heart screamed louder than it ever had before to just go and curl up in Ethari’s arms instead of sleeping alone in the bed that wasn’t really his. It had been a while since he felt something akin to home anywhere. Closest to what he knew other people called home had been the apartment he’d briefly shared with Lain when they joined their special forces team. After that it had been bunk rooms and hotels. Runaan had effectively lived out of a suitcase for a couple of years, or a backpack really.

He had tried living alone after his discharge but, well, that had backfired royally so from then on, he’d just stuck to the accommodation his jobs provided or rented a bed and breakfast somewhere nice and quiet. By now, he had a couple of 'regular' places to stay where the people knew him and wouldn't react weirdly to him coming home injured or else. It was a nice security net to fall back to. Besides his guestroom at Lain and Tiadrin's of course. But that was reserved for emergencies and babysitting duty only.

Here, in the guest apartment he'd already spent the better part of five months in, he felt about as close to home as he usually managed. Maybe even a bit more. He had his preferred reading spot on the windowsill, had been allowed to repaint the room to his liking, got these extra fluffy duvets that were perfect for burrowing into and most of all, he had his privacy. Nobody besides him had a key. No one ever came by. Everybody knocked.

But- would that change now? What did Ethari expect of him? To actually move in? To keep their business relationship outwardly to everyone else? To be his side fling? An actual committed relationship? Would Runaan even be able to pull off a committed relationship? So far, his longest streak was two months. After that, his Ex had tried to shoot him and turned out to be working for the wrong side.

Belatedly realizing that he'd been pacing for over twenty minutes, the bodyguard let himself drop on his bed and stared at the ceiling. Logically, he knew it was a horrible idea to even consider dating Ethari but then, if not him he'd never date anyone. And he also wasn't sure if he would even be able to continue on as if nothing had happened. Probably not. Who was he kidding. His pulse already jumped again just thinking about the engineer. _Fuck._

Runaan decided that this was a matter he'd need movement to resolve for and since he hadn't done his evening workout yet, the bodyguard rolled back to his feet to shed his slacks and shirt for a pair of athletic shorts. Movement always helped him think. And even when it didn't, he still ended up having used the time productively.

Already on his first set of crunches, Runaan let his mind wander in hopes of somehow coming up with a solution for all his recent problems. It was relaxing to simply focus on counting and let the room and his worries fall away.

An hour later, after what felt like one too many pushups, the bodyguard still wasn't even remotely close to a plan of action.

Well if that hadn't helped, his only conclusion was that he was obviously still lacking sufficient movement for such a grand task and pulled out his punching bag from under his bed to hook it into a fastening Ethari had installed for him in the ceiling. Ethari. _Oh bloody hell._ Suddenly, his heart was beating way faster than his workout warranted at the memory of his boss power drilling a custom rotary hook in the ceiling of his home after Runaan had mentioned missing his punching bag exactly once.

 _God fucking damn it._ Why was the engineer so nice all the damn time? Ethari was always so sweet and caring about anyone, never wanting to hurt a single soul. How could he ever live up to deserve such a man? _That's right, never._

_So get his stupid lovely smile out of your head and find someone else to ruin their life. You were doing okay before. Nothing is wrong with having one night stands instead of relationships. You don't have time for a relationship. You can't sustain a relationship. You don't even know what a relationship is supposed to be like._

"Lain and Tia's is good." He argued into the emptiness of his room, more or less talking to the punching bag.

The nagging voice in his head wanted to pipe up again but instead of listening, Runaan drove his fist into the leather for a first strike, quickly loosing himself in the familiarity of it. Taking comfort in the way his punches and kicks always found their mark. Precise. Fast. In control.

All things he wasn't in regard to Ethari.

 _You need to let him go._ Right jab. _It’s better for both of you._ Left hook. Jab. Jab. Kick. _Tomorow, go and hand in your resignation._ Kick. Right hook. Kick. Kick. _no no no no no. Don’t leave this._ Jab. _Don’t throw this away._ Kick. _Don’t be a fucking coward again._ Kick. _Trust him._

Runaan caught the by now swinging punching bag and gulped in a couple of deep breaths. Maybe he should sleep over this. But he wasn’t fired yet so maybe it wasn’t all bad. And Ethari had mentioned he didn’t care about professionalism. _He_ did. But the last few weeks, his heart had been winning against his head over and over again. Besides, he’d already slept with his employer. How much worse could it get for his own personal rules? _You could end up being distracted and getting him killed._

Shaking his head, the bodyguard unwrapped his hands again and made for the bathroom, stopping in front of the floor length mirror. His right hand wandered up to trace the faint outline of his ribcage where it was barley visible under his skin. _It’s fine. You’re fine. Stop obsessing._ There was even the slightest hint of soft around his hipbones since Runaan hadn’t had the time or mind to stick to his workout and food routine the last week and a half. _See? It’s fine. Relax._

Once he’d stepped out of the probably way too hot shower, the bodyguard padded over to his fridge, now clad in sweatpants and a washed out army shirt. The vanilla flavored protein shake labelled ‘Thursday evening’ stared at him accusingly until he reached for it instead of the scotch he’d gotten the week before.

Sleep did find him surprisingly easy despite the turmoil in his mind but then, he opened his eyes and gone were his dark turquoise walls and neat curtains. Replaced by all too familiar crumbling dirty grey paint and the faint rhythmic dripping of water on wet concrete. He could feel his breath going shallow and fast, a weight laying on his chest he couldn’t quite pinpoint.

Something rattled as he tried to sit up, scraping at his wrists and pulling at what felt like already scabbed skin.

Logically, Runaan knew this wasn’t real. That he was still in his bed, in his room, sleeping. But the memory had him fast enough in its grasp to push the rationality away.

His gaze slowly turned downward from where it was pinned to a piece of half chipped paint until his bloodshot eyes found the outline of his ribs, following their ripples down to where his hips stood out prominently through the dirty bruised expanse of skin disappearing into formerly light brown cargo pants. Whatever was left of his hair fell into his eyes, flickering in and out of Runaan’s vision.

A noise at the door barley drew his attention away. They’d do whatever they wanted anyways. There was no reason, no benefit, in fighting. They didn’t even ask him questions anymore. Had given that up what the soldier thought were a couple weeks ago. Could have been more, or less. He’d lost count after the first seventeen days. Someone unlocked his cuffs from the wall, roughly pulling him to his feet. Runaan didn’t try to see which one it was this time. But once he saw the buckets, his mind automatically filled in the name of this particular captor. This one was always the worst.

He didn’t struggle when he was pushed to his knees again, barley even registering the sharp sting of pain in his legs. Didn’t try to get away. Didn’t scream. Just stared ahead like he’d done ever since. And waited.

Soon enough, a wet cloth was plastered across his face, smelling like old dirty water and he readied himself to hold his breath. Despite himself, his body still felt the panic. Still tried to fight for its life even when his mind had stopped.

 _It’s not real. It’s just a memory._ The dark room wavered, hints of his sheets finding their way to his skin. _It’s not real. Wake up._

With a gasp and large gulp of air, Runaan shot upright in his bed, coughing like he’d really just inhaled water. _Just a dream. Just a memory. It’s over. You’re safe in Ethari’s house._ One hand instinctively reached for his knives, heartbeat only steadying once his fingers curled around the cold metal. Then, he looked at the alarm clock on his bedside table. 2 am. _Great._

He knew he wouldn’t get much more sleep tonight. At least not the kind he wanted. So the bodyguard detangled himself from the covers he’d ended up wrapped up in and got up. His reflection stared back at him pale and wide eyed but it was _him_ and not the hollow of a man from his dream. _It’s over._

Runaan ran a shaking hand through his messy hair, trying to calm his breathing enough to get his pulse to an acceptable level. The scotch he’d forgone earlier suddenly seemed rather attractive. That and his emergency cigarettes. He’d get an earful if Lain found out but right now, he just needed something, _anything_ , to distract him. But then he remembered that he’d told Ethari he’d quit and his hands halted over the drawer he kept them and a spare lighter in. _No. Just face your fears. You know it’s not real. Be rational._ So he simply slapped a nicotine patch on his arm and slid the drawer shut again. The bodyguard still went for the scotch, grateful for the burn of the first few mouthfuls that felt so different from water. _Just_ _a_ _dream_.

When he felt slightly more than comfortably tipsy, Runaan changed into a pair of swim trunks and an old loose shirt he wouldn't mind getting chlorine on. Ethari would hopefully be asleep already. They'd had a long day and then there was still the jetlag of the 8 hour time difference that he'd trained to not even be fazed by.

The pool lay crystal clear and disturbed by nothing but the occasional wind gust when he stepped outside, bare feet padding over the cold dark grey tiles.

/

Ethari had tried to sleep once his bodyguard left but there were far too many thoughts swirling through his head to be able to rest. So he'd went down to his workshop to listen to some music and tinker with a few private projects. He'd planned on making a set of throwing knives for Runaan for a while now but just couldn't settle on a design. Lotus engraving? Or maybe a constellation? The engineer was still musing over ideas when his perimeter alarm pinged up. After the last incident on his Nobel Price celebration, Ethari had made it a habit to always have the security system open on an extra monitor.

It just felt safer that way.

With a few clicks, he had the triggered pool camera pulled up and immediately relaxed upon seeing the familiar long hair.

Runaan was standing next to the deep end, contemplating from the looks of it. Then, he sat down and dipped his feet in the water, taking a few drinks from whatever bottle he had with him. The bodyguard didn't look relaxed. Not even remotely. Especially not for someone who was sitting next to a temperated full size pool with what he suspected to be pretty decent booze.

Ethari watched for a couple of minutes what seemed to be Runaan intently tracking the movement of his feet under water before he suddenly set the bottle aside and slid into the dark mass. The engineer stared at the screen, only daring to breathe again when the other resurfaced a few seconds later and rested one hand on the ledge in order to survey the pool around him. Somehow, an uneasy feeling spread in his stomach. Was he okay? Usually, Runaan only raced through his laps for an hour and left directly after. He'd never seen him just sit there and regard the water as if it would somehow swallow him whole should he look away for a second.

His bodyguard repeated the process multiple times, the periods he stayed under getting longer and longer every time until Ethari was afraid he wouldn't surface again. But each time, Runaan's head reappeared, gulping in air that had been missed. The engineer watched until he switched to free floating in the pool, arms spread as if he asked the dark mass to catch him.

Runaan didn't seem alright. There was this distinct feeling of dread just like in the plane but he couldn't quite pinpoint where it was coming from. Despite his better judgement, the engineer left his desk to see what was going on.

/

As soon as he slid the glass door leading into the garden aside, Ethari could feel the other’s eyes on him. He still continued on towards the pool until he was faced with Runaan standing in the shallower end, water reaching up to his ribcage. The bottle he’d seen earlier stood almost empty on the edge of the pool while the bodyguard’s eyes flickered between it, him and the water.

“No sleep either?” he asked, sitting down on the ground to dangle his legs into the water. It was comfortably warm despite looking like a pit leading to the underworld.

“No sleep.” Runaan confirmed in that rough loaded voice he’d only heard once so far. The bodyguard reached out with his hand and traced endless patterns into the surface, watching the ripples extend until they hit the grey tiles.

For the lack of anything to say, Ethari watched him for a couple of minutes before he felt the silence turn awkward. “Saw the security camera here was triggered. I didn’t mean to disturb ya. I’ll leave if ya want.”

Runaan shrugged, moving a bit closer to the edge. “ ‘s your house. You can go wherever you want." His words blurred into each other a bit, vastly different from the usual precise pronunciation that bore no accent that would allow to pinpoint his heritage. Hell, Ethari didn't even know where the bodyguard came from.

“Since yer livin’ here, too it's as much yer space as it's mine." The other's eyes widened a bit at that and Runaan opened his mouth to say something only to snap it shut again. Silence stretched on for another few heartbeats before Ethari spoke up again. "Are you alright?"

He half expected a deflection but then Runaan looked at him- really looked at him- and cracked a smirk that didn't reach his eyes. "Don't worry- you can't drown on purpose." That- that didn't sound right. His bodyguard's tone had shifted from the monotone tiredness to something almost cheerful. If it wasn't for the cynical undertone swinging with it. The uneasy feeling in his stomach intensified and Ethari didn't want anything more than simply wrap the other in his arms and tell him everything would be alright. But surely that wasn't welcome.

“Really?" He asked instead, breaking the look they shared as it more and more felt like these blue orbs intended to burn right through to his soul. “I find that hard to believe." Ethari felt like this wasn't about the water at all but maybe, talking about it like this was easier. The terrain he was traversing on seemed like a minefield of wrong answers and he dearly hoped it hadn’t been a wrong one.

“Your body keeps the air inside until your lungs feel like burstin’. Right until that last second. The instinct to not let any water in ‘s so strong that you won’t open your mouth until your head feels like ‘s about to explode. Lettin’ the water in ‘s almost a relief.” while talking, Runaan had moved in closer and was now almost crowding the engineer where he was still sitting on the pool edge.

“Sometimes-" he started, right hand trailing up Ethari's dress shirt “-’s hurts less to just give in."

And then, Ethari was yanked downwards, Lips and teeth crashing against his bodyguards'. He tasted like scotch and vanilla, the flavors mixing on his tongue as Runaan pulled him down into the warm water, never even breaking their kiss. For a moment, the engineer forgot everything. The last days, the pool, the weird telephone call. Everything melted away while his hands securely fisted in the messy white bun in order to pull his bodyguard the few centimeters up that he was missing.

Runaan's balance faltered for a second as his feet lost contact with the ground but he recovered quickly, wrapping both legs around the engineer's hips and grinned against his lips. “I think I promised to make up for somethin’.” he whispered between soft kisses against Ethari’s neck that trailed lower and lower towards his collarbones.

The engineer smiled and gently but firmly pried Runaan’s head away from him. “And I think ya need to sleep.” the other’s eyes widened at that, looking almost scared.

“No” Runaan shook his head and his grip on Ethari’s shoulders intensified. “don’t wanna.” Something akin to panic flashed behind the turquoise eyes and he stopped, re-thinking the incident on the plane.

“What about we go and take a bath and then I’ll go sleep and you can watch over me, hm?” Maybe he could trick the other into coming with him to bed and then get him to fall asleep. Seeing the emptiness of the Scotch bottle, that shouldn’t be all too hard. But then, Runaan probably had over a decade of undercover experience and was incredibly perceptive. _I just have to be extra convincing then._

“Bath sounds great.” _Aha! That wasn’t so hard now was it?_ The bodyguard snuggled closer, apparently fully expecting Ethari to carry him to his bathroom. Alright. He could do that. Provided he didn’t slip on the wet tiles and broke both their necks. At least Runaan’s Koala impression was good enough that he didn’t have to worry about accidentally dropping him. He was pretty sure that even if he let go of the hand he’d braced under his bodyguard’s shorts, the other would stay right where he was. _Kinda convenient actually._

“Alright then, one bath coming up. I hope you like lavender scented bath salt.” If he was doing this, he was doing it right. Besides, Ethari had heard that lavender helped against anxiety. Worth a try wasn’t it?

“Hmmhm Lavender’s good.” came the muffled reply from somewhere against the crook of his neck just as Ethari lifted them out of the water, once again being grateful he’d opted for the actual staircase on one side and not a ladder. He pointedly ignored the fact that they were dripping all over the living room and kitchen before he reached his private bathroom and went to set his precious cargo down on the bathtub rim.

“I’ll just turn on the water and then we’ll get you out of these clothes okay?” Runaan smirked, giving him a wink that threatened to let his heart pound right through his ribcage.

“Whatever you want hun.” At this moment, Ethari regretted his earlier wish to meet drunk Runaan. Because he wanted him. _Badly._ But not while he was clearly not alright. And frankly, his bodyguard already peeling himself slowly out of the soaking wet t-shirt was entirely too distracting.

_Just imagine Janai berating ya for whatever it was you did that time. Just don’t think about Runaan. He needs you to be the responsible one now._

A good ten minutes later, he had him finally sitting in the now filled bathtub, covered with giant foam blobs from the bubble bath he’d added earlier. Ethari lit some of the scented candles he had scattered across his bathroom and moved to sit on the rim, hands gently combing through Runaan’s hair. “Mind if I join ya?”

The other’s blue orbs stared up at him and he could already feel Runaan’s hands tugging on his arm. “I was hopin’ you would.” He climbed in behind his bodyguard, reclining against the tub until his back hit the ceramic and he could pull the other back down onto him so he was cradled to his chest and Ethari was able to trace his tattoos. “Hmmhm” was the only reaction he got besides Runaan’s left that now rested on his chest, idly drawing swirls and geometric patterns with featherlight touch.

They stayed like that until the water was beginning to grow cold and he could feel his bodyguard drifting off to sleep every few seconds. “Runaan?” the other hummed, the sound vibrated through his ribcage and left a warm soft feeling in its wake. “Let’s go to bed, hm?” A small nod, then a yawn as Runaan pushed himself up from his seat and began to wring out his hair that still had traces of conditioner in it.

Ethari fetched two of the huge fluffy towels he usually used and wrapped Runaan in his bathrobe that was slightly too big on the bodyguard and threatened to slip from one shoulder any second. The other allowed him to carefully brush his hair and braid it into a simple loose braid after drying it and together, they shuffled off to Ethari’s bedroom.

He tossed one of his old Caltec shirts and a pair of boxers over to Runaan who, surprisingly, caught them with ease and exchanged the bathrobe for them without a single comment. The engineer himself skipped a shirt, still positively burning from the very long very hot bath they’d just shared and flopped down onto the covers, patting the silk sheets next to him. “Come ‘ere.”

His bodyguard complied immediately and crawled over to tuck himself into Ethari’s arm and snuggle close, pulling the covers over the both of them in the process. “If I have a nightmare, don’ touch me an’ get away.” he whispered before his breath evened out and he could feel the by now familiar soft huffs indicating Runaan was asleep.

To Ethari's surprise, the other was still draped over his chest the next morning. Right where he'd fallen asleep. And was slightly drooling onto him, too. Adorable.

Carefully, he lifted himself free of Runaan's arms and exchanged himself for a couple of pillows while stealthing over to his kitchen.

When he returned five minutes later with a cup of coffee and an aspirin, his bodyguard was still asleep. Which was about as rare of an occurrence as finding a four leafed clover in a desert. Carefully, Ethari set down his offerings and reached out to nudge the other's shoulder.

Runaan stirred.

Then, he simply cuddled closer to the pillow, wrapping his arms around it with a tad more ferocity. As if he was scared someone might take it away.

“Hey sleepyhead-" Ethari repeated the shoulder nudge. A bit more forceful.

"Hrmpf" Uh huh.

“Runaan, I don't want to wake ya but I'm sure yer'll be mad about missing your patrol if I let ya sleep.” The other turned away from him. _Really_ _now_? _You_ _make_ _me_ _be_ _the_ _bad_ _guy_? Ethari thought, just about to pry away the pillow when-

The first notes of Thunderstruck filled the room, Runaan's private phone vibrating where he'd left it the night before on the bedside table.

In a matter of seconds, his bodyguard was up and had it in his hand, accepting the call. “Lain?" He rasped into it and immediately followed with “Are you okay?" while his free hand gingerly pressed against his forehead.

A short pause followed where he seemed to listen intently to whatever his friend was saying, shifting into that uncanny focus he only had in dire situations.

“Oh okay then why did you-" Lain apparently cut him off, voice now slightly raised, Ethari could make out every other word from where he was still crouching next to the bed, holding his breath and uncertain of what to do.

“-missed... check... worried... call..." Runaan dutifully nodded along before grimacing and instead keeping his head straight.

“Lain I'm fine. Don't worry I'm-" he glanced around, eyes landing on the unfamiliar sheets "-uh, I um, I'm-" he tried again, squinting his eyes at the closet door as if it held all secrets.

Ethari heard a tinny voice commandeer "... Sitrep" and immediately, Runaan straightened.

"Bruised shoulder, recent wound not bleeding and dressed, headache, nausea, unfamiliar shirt, unfamiliar sheets-" Lain seemed to have cut him off again because the bodyguard snapped his mouth shut.

“…again... hazard... over this... unhealthy..."

Not being able to bear the awkwardness of just sitting there and listen, Ethari held up the mug he brought "Uh, coffee?"

Turquoise eyes snapped onto him, scanning as if he were a threat. "Ethari?!" He blurted suddenly, looking like he'd almost dropped his phone.

"WHAT?” came screaming through said phone and the engineer felt like he'd just made a powerful enemy by accident.

“I, uh, I brought coffee and an aspirin?" He tried again, hoping it would sound as non-threatening as he intended. Runaan was staring at him with a dumbstruck expression, still holding his phone that emitted a very audible tirade curtesy of Lain promising he'd kill him. Great. Just great.

"You- made me coffee?" Something about that seemed to shake Runaan's worldview so thoroughly that his bodyguard straight up blanked for a solid thirty seconds. Ethari was counting.

Then, something in the incomprehensible swall of words Lain was still shouting caught his attention again and Runaan blinked. Once. Twice. And then, he abruptly stood, striding over in a few, measured steps and crouched down.

"I am so sorry. I will be back. Thank you for the coffee." With that, the mug was relieved from his hands and his longhaired boyfriend (were they boyfriends?) disappeared.

"Lain- LAIN SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN!" It sounded more commandeering than mad. Like someone would shout at a soldier in their platoon and not a friend who'd upset them.

With nothing better to do, Ethari returned to the kitchen, the untouched waterglass and aspirin in one hand, to make himself a coffee of his own. And wait. Runaan had asked to wait for him.

About twenty-five minutes later, his bodyguard returned. Still barefoot and clad in Ethari's clothes, he looked as disheveled as the engineer had ever seen him. “Hey-" Runaan rasped out, placing the empty coffee mug on the counter in front of him. “-thanks for the coffee and, um sorry for last night and this morning. I'll- I'll get the resignation papers ready if you want me to." There was that certain kind of steel behind his eyes that always appeared when he tried to hide his feelings but Ethari could see right through it, all the way to the blank fear that stared back at him from these turquoise pools he'd drowned in one too many times already.

“Runaan-" he reached out, grabbing the other's hand to make sure to get his point across. “-Why would I want you to resign? I don't want yer ta leave."

Something akin to hope flashed across his face. So fast that Ethari almost missed it.

"But I-, Ethari I don't think I can give you what you want. I'm damaged goods. You deserve better- much better."

“I'll take what yer willing to give Runaan and so far, I haven't seen anythin’ to convince me otherwise. We can ease into this. Go on a few dates first... whatever yer want. You set the pace."

The bodyguard shook his head, pulling his hands free to run them through his hair. “No, Ethari you- you don't understand. You don't know what you're getting yourself into.” His voice broke halfway through, the rest coming out as a whisper. As if he was murmuring a warning afraid the monster would overhear.

“Then make me." Ethari wasn't backing down now. He wanted this, wanted Runaan and everything that came with it.

“What?!"

“Make me understand! Explain it ta me and you can bet yer ass I'll still be here after.”

Runaan looked at him like a deer in headlights. Then he closed his eyes, whispered something under his breath like a mantra and nodded.

"Okay- okay. But not here. The whole house is full of cameras.”

After a couple of minutes, they stepped out into Ethari's garden. Both dressed in comfortably warm sweatpants and a hoodie. It was nearing Christmas after all.

Once they'd cleared the property and were standing alone in midst of the Scottish highlands, Runaan dug a small unopened cardboard container from his front pocket, broke the seal, tugged out a cigarette and expertly lighted it at the first try despite the strong wind. At Ethari's inquiring look, he shrugged, exhaling smoke as if it could carry the tension away from him. "Emergency stack."

"And this counts as emergency?" Despite the somber mood, Ethari couldn't withing but tease a little.

“This is the only thing that counts as an emergency besides yours or Lain, Tiadrin's and Rayla's death or injury." Runaan's matter of fact tone chilled him to the bone, now dreading whatever revelation this morning would hold.

“Before I start, I want you to understand that you cannot fix me. Some things you might be able to make better but others you won't and I need you to understand and accept that. If, at the end of this conversation, you'd prefer for us to not see each other again, I would understand and not hold it against you."

Ethari nodded, trying to make his voice sound more convinced than he felt. "Alright."

Runaan then told him of the mission that had killed his whole squad and forced him to resign. Explained what happened and why it haunted him. Why he couldn't let it go. Recited his assigned psychologist's definition of survivors guilt and PTSD, named the symptoms he had and which he didn't. Talked about what triggered episodes and what made the nightmares worse. Reluctantly admitted to self-medicating when it got too much and that yesterday had been one of those nights.

He told other stories too. Of missions that only went slightly sideways. Of how he and Lain had been a Tac Team since the very start, making academy records and being close to unstoppable until the Special Forces broke up their Squad. Of how he'd got traded through departments for the jobs nobody else was willing to risk their own men for and how the Crown had dropped their support as soon as he'd decided to not spend his life behind a desk.

“Do you miss it?" The way he talked about his time in the armed forces, despite the pain and hardship, certainly suggested he did.

“Every day. And I hate it. They used me for so long, didn't even want to bail me out when I got captured on a mission, Lain had to go off record to get me, and still, if they offered me a spot in active duty I probably wouldn't even hesitate.” Runaan stopped, watching the smoke curl from between his fingertips. “Well I- I wouldn't have half a year ago. Now, I'm not so sure.”

Ethari nodded. He could understand that. If someone told him he couldn't build things anymore he'd probably also do anything in his power to get it back. “I'm for one am glad yer here now. I feel much safer with you around." He smiled, trying to lift the mood a bit and even got a fondly exasperated sigh in return. Baby steps.

Runaan shifted his focus from him to the horizon where the hills met the distinct mix of morning fog and light and drew in another deep drag, exhaling smoke through his nose and mouth before continuing.

“I didn't do very well after the discharge. I couldn't see a purpose for me anymore and it sent me down a very dark rabbit hole. No matter how hard Lain and Tia tried to catch me, I didn't let them. I believed I needed to be punished for my failure and-" carefully, Ethari reached out to sling his arm around Runaan's waist, pulling him closer in silent comfort. “-I forgot to eat for days I think, I'm not sure, drank more, went to street fights after my gym kicked me out and for a long time, it just got worse every day. Some of the scars- you asked about them once- I don't even know where they're from because I don't remember. At some point, Lain just showed up. One night, I think it was a Tuesday, I was on my third fight and suddenly he stepped into the ring in front of me. Didn't say anything while beating the shit out of me. Afterwards, he offered me a hand and demanded I come with him, handcuffed me to the bedpost of their guestroom to sober up and helped me get my shit back together. It's not great yet but I think I'm getting there." Runaan exchanged the cigarette in his hand for a new one even though he'd mostly been gesturing with it either way. “We have an agreement that I text him every morning when I get up so they know I'm okay and if I don't he calls me to check in. Same goes for travel and-, um, hookups. If I don't answer my phone one of them will come and drag my ass back to wherever it currently belongs. It's a safety net sort of and I'm glad to have it. Saved my life a couple of times already..." he trailed off, leaving the implication for Ethari to decipher.

"Last night, I was scared for you. It felt like you'd slip through my hands if I only let you out of my sight for a second." The way Runaan had stared into their pool still sent shivers down his spine.

"You don't have to worry about losing me that way." Of course his bodyguard had immediately picked up on what he meant. Ethari searched the other's eyes for lies but was only met with cold certainty.

"How can you be so sure? People have broken over less."

“Because I tried. And I can't. Every time it mattered I wasn't strong enough to go through with it. Couldn't pull the trigger or take that one step forward. I always have to think about the people, if only few, I'd hurt with it and I just can't bear hurting them."

Now Ethari pulled him in an actual full body hug, burying his head in the other's hoodie, ignoring the smell of smoke. “Don't say it like that. Not shooting yourself isn't weakness Runaan, it's strength. And yer the strongest person I know."

Runaan stayed silent for several minutes, taking in the occasional shaky breath every few heartbeats while his hands slowly circled around Ethari to hug him closer.

"So-" he started, voice off key and merely a whisper "-does that mean I'm not yet fired?"

Ethari choked out a laugh at that, tears threatening to spill over his cheeks. He wanted to find anyone who'd ever hurt Runaan and beat them to a pulp but right now, his bodyguard was here, in his arms, safe.

"No you idiot that means I want you to be my boyfriend. And I demand to see Lain because by now I need a visual to the guy threatening me with heart removal by fist over the phone."

Runaan made a sound somewhere between a giggle and a sob, wiping his face with the back of his hand and finally looked him in the eye again. "I mean I could show you a picture." Ethari pouted. "Or you could accompany me to Rayla's game this weekend and meet them? They're just a bit intense."

"I will as soon as I have my answer." The engineer untangled himself but kept the arm around Runaan's midsection when they started to walk back to the house.

“Answer?"

"If you would like to be my boyfriend?"

His bodyguard looked baffled for a second then, he blushed an adorable shade of pink and nodded, ducking his head. "Yeah I'd- I'd like that very much. Full disclosure though I don't actually know how to do that. My last boyfriend tried to kill me after three months once I found out he worked for the other side and not in the romantic Mr&Mrs Smith kinda way."

"Jesus-” Ethari laughed "-Is everything about ya dramatic?”

Runaan grinned in response and held out the rest of his cigarettes. “I guess you'll have to find out. Here please take them."

He pocketed the little cardboard box immediately, pulling the other down for a kiss. “How are you feeling about French toast for breakfast?”

“Sounds perfect."


End file.
